Royal Duty
by LiveInDakota
Summary: Life as a princess isn't a fairytale like they would lead you to believe. Sometimes decisions are made you don't like. Sometimes you don't have a choice at all. Barely out of school, it seems Bella's future has already been decided, with a marriage she doesn't want and a nation she doesn't know how to rule, but not everything is at it seems, and Edward Masen is no exception. E/B.
1. The Princess and the Pea

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all! Here in the UK we've been bombarded with Queen Jubilee-ness. Now, as a Scot all that just annoyed me, but our Queenie has an inspirational story.**

**Enter Princess Isabella and heir to the throne of the largest empire in the world...throw in her own personal prince that she shares more with than she first realises and there's bound to be fireworks :) A love story in the making :D**

**Hope y'all enjoy! It's a little differe****nt from my usual stuff, so prepare yourselves if you're already a reader of mine.**

**Contains British spelling as it is set in Britain :D However, this royal family has been changed, so it wont correspond with what you know about the real British monarchy :D**

**x**

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**Chapter One: The Princess and the Pea**

I awoke to the familiar ringing of a distant bell, a bell I knew signalled the start of a brand new day. The sun was streaming through a small gap in the curtains, lighting up the large room and helping me awake fully.

My room was extravagantly large, but filled with precious items and comforts to make it feel like home. They included photographs taken on family holidays and trips overseas with school friends, as well as medals and trophies that I've won. One corner of the floor was dedicated to an organised pile of teddy bears all sitting together. They'd been in the same position for years, and I hadn't had time to sort through them since my return. I was sure more than half could go to a good charity.

Like them, my room hadn't changed, barring a different set of bed linen and new curtains hanging on the windows. I wasn't the same, unlike them I had grown and changed.

I tried to remember what the girl who left home all those years ago had been like, but I found it difficult to imagine my eleven-year-old self. Life experiences, new friends, and a growing view of the world had changed me into a new person, and it was someone I was proud to be. I just hoped my parents would be proud, too.

I'd only been home two days, but today was the first I'd see them. Their visit to Paris had been lengthened for reasons I wasn't too sure of, and they'd been unable to get home in time for my homecoming. I couldn't pretend I wasn't disappointed by that fact, but I also couldn't deny my mother and father extra time together in a romantic city, God knows they needed it.

I'd spent the previous day reacquainting myself with my horse, Steel – named after his colour as my six-year-old self thought Grey wasn't imaginative enough – and lunching with my sister Rosalie. She was younger than I, and she was also home for the summer. The two of us hadn't seen each other in over a year, and I relished the time to get to know her again.

I'd been travelling Italy the previous summer with my best friend from boarding school, and had missed the few months we usually spent together at home.

I lay in bed, and listened to the palace awaken around me. I could hear windows and doors leading to the patio being opened below my window, and people walking the long halls – mostly maids going to begin their shifts, or the earlier ones finishing. A worker started up what sounded like a hedge-trimmer in the distance, jarring me where I lay.

Summer at the palace was my favourite season. The grounds were expansive and fulfilling, the gardens invigorating, the grass greener than ever, and the entire place was full of life. Family usually came to visit, distant cousins, close cousins, uncles and aunts, all spending the long days together when duty didn't call.

Mother and Father usually spent the summer months at home, but it varied year-to-year. If there was a natural disaster, it was seen as appropriate that the King visited the affected area. If there was another world leader's death, wedding, birthday or coronation, they attended, and sometimes an invite for Rosalie and me would arrive at the palace.

It was two years at least since I'd seen most of my family, and while I'd have liked some alone time with my father, I couldn't deny that I was excited to see them. Having no other close friends, Rosalie and I had always enjoyed the company of our cousins – older, younger or similar in age.

A knock at the door sounded, and I stretched out of bed before calling for them to enter. Angela, a pretty young girl that was new to the palace staff, came in timidly, unsure as to how she would be received. I smiled gently, letting her know I was comfortable with her presence and she should be with mine.

"Miss, would you like breakfast in your room this morning, or downstairs?" she asked quietly, keeping eye contact like she had no doubt been taught to do.

"What time are Mama and Papa arriving?" I asked her.

"The King and Queen are due to land in under an hour, Your Highness. They are expected to be back within the palace around mid-morning." She blushed under my gaze as she answered, but otherwise remained quietly standing in the middle of the room.

"Then I shall dine downstairs. Thank you, Angela." She blushed again and I smiled, wondering how long it would take her to become accustomed to working closely with me. It wasn't until she was leaving my suite that I called after her. "Oh, could you wake Rose as well? It would be nice if we could eat a light breakfast together."

"Of course, Your Highness," she replied with a nod of her head and a curtsy.

_I'd have to sort that out,_ I thought.

She'd called me "miss" when she came in, and that was more than enough. I wouldn't have her addressing me so formally when we were alone together, nor would I allow her to curtsy every time she met or left me. I never forgot that I was Princess Isabella, heir to the throne to millions of people throughout the world, but it was nice to be just Bella as often as I could.

My father was the ruler; I lived happily in his shadow and wanted to continue that way as long as possible.

A few hours later, while I was finishing pinning up my hair to compliment the dress I was wearing, Angela walked into my room, alerting my to the fact the Mama and Papa were home. With a giddy smile and a light feeling in my chest, I ran along the corridor and flew down the stairs, much like I did when I was small.

I knew I was making a show of myself in front of advisors and bodyguards as my mother took her coat off in the entrance hall, but I couldn't contain the happy squeal that escaped my lips as I ran towards her. I didn't notice that there were more bodies in the foyer than usual, that outside in the sunshine there were more cars than were necessary, or that just inside the door there were far more pieces of luggage than was needed for two people.

My mother's softness and scent surrounded me, making me oblivious to anyone or anything else as she took me in her arms and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. A feeling had been missing since I'd returned, and now that she was there, I truly felt like I was home.

I opened my eyes and grinned comically at my father over my mother's shoulder before letting go, stepping around her and launching myself at him too. I was never ashamed to say I was Daddy's little girl. I heard Rose arrive and Mother welcome her youngest daughter home, but I stayed under my father's arm and let him guide me to the day-lounge, intent on listening to his stories and thrilling him with some tales of my own.

They'd been attending a summit meeting of European heads of state in Paris. Prime Ministers, presidents and monarchs of the European Union were getting together to try and combat the rising debt crisis in our neighbouring countries. Father was one of the only two Kings within Europe, while all the other modern-day countries relied on parliaments and governments to rule them.

I had grown up learning every day about the history of our family, how generation after generation had ruled with a panel of parliament-type advisors behind them, but ultimately running the country themselves. It was an odd thing in the modern world, but it had never been changed, and Father always told me it probably never would.

"_But when it's your turn, Isabella, you can do anything. I know you'll have the belief and power to do whatever is best for this country."_

I shivered as I remembered those words. I hoped that day was a long way off. My duties as a princess were similar to that of a queen, only without all the responsibility of making decisions that affected an entire population. At the moment, I just turned showed up to the events I was told to make an appearance at, chose charities closest to my heart that I wanted to be patron of, and made public appearances in support of local organisations and companies.

I wasn't making it out to be unimportant, but my duties and responsibilities as Queen would no doubt take over my life. I just hoped when the day came, that I'd be trained as best as my father could manage, have a strong board of loyal friends and advisors behind me and a loving, supportive husband by my side.

I sighed; the last was one of the few things I hoped for more than anything in life. I tuned out as Rose asked our mother question after question about Paris from her spot beside her on the sofa.

There had been a few guys who'd caught my attention at school, from the town in Switzerland we'd been situated in, but none of them had lasted more than a lunch or a group get-together. Mother and Father had been friends since childhood, as their parents were long term friends. My mother, however, had been the eldest daughter of a foreign dignitary, from an important and wealthy family, and she reminded me time and again that that was the only reason she managed to marry the love of her life.

An heir to the throne couldn't marry just anyone. In fact, my father had been in line for an arranged marriage, but his mother had done everything she could to show everyone of importance that my mother was the right choice for him.

I missed my grandmother. I had no doubt she'd have done the same for me if she was still around, but sadly she had passed away, dying of severe pneumonia only three years ago.

I couldn't imagine myself married – no longer a single unit but part of a pair, with someone to consult with, rely on, depend on and think of first. I wondered how long it would take me to find a man I could see my future with, someone who would love me as much as my father loved my mother.

I looked at them even now and could see the way his eyes lingered on her face as she spoke. I'd seen the way she turned her entire body to face him when he entered a room, the smile that would light up her face when he brushed past her, secretly brushing her hand, or the sadness that would be etched into her features when he was away on business and she hadn't been able to accompany him.

Their love was timeless, a story from the ages that neither Rose nor I ever tired of hearing.

I wanted what they had, but I had no idea how to find it. The only men in my life were my father, his advisors and friends, and all my male cousins. There was no one else out there who knew the real Bella Swan, and it scared me to think there might never be.

"Isabella, how is Alice?" My mother's voice jars me from my thoughts as she asks about my best friend and, as I cleared my throat to answer, I realised my father had been watching me closely.

"She's good. She phoned yesterday from her hotel in Milan. She cannot wait for fashion week. She hoped your offer to stay here still stood for the week after?"

"Of course. It would be great to meet her. Your father and I have heard nothing but glowing praise from you, and I'd like to meet the girl who made your time at school so worthwhile. You know how I worried when you left. Alice seemed like a blessing when you first mentioned her."

I nodded with a small smile. My mother was right; if it hadn't been for Alice's single father spending every penny he made from his company in New York to send her to the same boarding school for girls as I went to, we never would have met. She had a passion for fashion, but for art in particular.

I'd discovered sketches in her room one afternoon and had been floored at how exceptional her detail in everything was. I remembered the happiness she exuded when she talked about it, and the exhilaration she explained she felt when she saw someone wearing something she'd made or designed.

Of course, once I knew that, I humoured her. For my sixteenth birthday, she both designed and created a beautiful dress out of green silk and navy taffeta. It had been made on a budget, but it fit perfectly and had been praised by the magazines who had managed to take pictures of the event and me.

I don't think I'd ever seen her happier. Since then, when it had suited the royal advisors and stylists, she had been in charge of what I would wear to certain events. I think, to date, I had worn nine of her creations, and all of them were currently being shipped back to London from our school outside Zurich, as were most of my belongings.

Once lunch had been cleared away by the maids from the dining room, Mama, Papa, Rose and I retired to the back lawn, where fresh lemonade and fresh-baked biscuits sat on one of the garden tables.

We'd only been out there for just over an hour when my father spoke up in a serious voice. "Rosalie, I'd like to talk to your sister in private. Would you mind excusing yourself for just a little while?"

Rosalie was surprised but she hid it well. It certainly wasn't often that my father refused to talk openly in front of both of us.

"Of course. I might spend the afternoon at the stables with Jasper," she answered with a smile, the awkwardness forgotten as she saw an opportunity to spend more time with her horse – and her favourite stable-hand. I tried to hide my smile, but I was pretty sure my mother caught it. Jasper was a year older than me, so the five-year age gap between him and Rosalie would not be something taken lightly by either of my parents.

However, I knew something no one else did. Jasper had a serious thing for Alice. They'd never met, but he'd accidently found a picture of the two of us on my phone when I dropped it one day while riding, and the rest, they say, was history. He'd been infatuated ever since, asking for tales and information.

I hadn't told Alice, and I hadn't told Jasper that she would be coming to spend the summer in the palace in just over a week's time.

I felt uncomfortable as Rosalie skipped off; suddenly wishing I had her there for some sort of protection. The tiredness I hadn't noticed in my father was all of a sudden weighing him down, and I knew it had to be bad when my mother laid her hand on his to offer him some sort of support and comfort.

A myriad of scenarios ran through my head, from illness to a death I hadn't heard about, but nothing that actually concerned me directly. I'd already been shipped off to a boarding school three thousand miles away when I was eleven – what else could they possibly do to me?

"We're sorry we missed your eighteenth birthday, Isabella."

I came up short. That hadn't been what I was expecting.

"Oh, it's okay. Alice said she might organise a little something for all of us once she got here. Just a family barbecue or something," I added in case they thought Alice would want run of the palace.

"That would be nice," my mother replied with a faint smile. Somehow I realised that my birthday had very little to do with what we were talking about.

"You've grown up so fast, Isabella, and I hope you know how proud we are of the woman you've become."

I nodded with a lump in my throat.

"You're not a child anymore, Isabella. Your father and I know that, and while we think it's still too soon, it's been decided that you're transition into future queen needs to be solidified."

My brows furrowed in confusion. I thought back over everything I had been taught, trying to recall what it was I hadn't already done.

"_A strong leader needs a strong support system, Isabella. No female ruler of this country has ever ascended to the throne without a husband, but there's plenty of time to worry about that."_

I was only about ten in my memory of that conversation, and it ended with me giggling lightly and my father smiling fondly. I was too young back then, and there was no need for me to worry about being married. It seemed now, however, that the time to worry about such things had come.

I wasn't ready.

"I…what do you need me to do?" I asked obediently. Growing up, I had learned quickly in which situations Charlie was my King first and my father second, and this was one of those times. As my King, he needed his successor to take responsibility.

"You know we wouldn't make you do anything you weren't comfortable with, Isabella. Please remember that, but this is out of our hands," my mother continued softly, but I was looking at my father, begging him with my eyes to tell me anything except what I knew was coming.

"We were married by your age, Bells. This has to happen," he said softly, the tenderness in his eyes telling me he wasn't happy with the decision either. He might have been King, but when he was advised in a certain way, there was no alternative. I had to be married, and by the sounds of it, soon.

"So, what then? Do I get a list? A string of dates, balls where I have to dance with different suitors?" I asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. The slight furrow of my mother's brow and the increase in pressure in my father's grasp of her hand told me it was more serious than I realised.

"Isabella…you don't get to choose. Not this time…"

"What? I don't understand. How can I not choose who I marry? You told me even with an arranged marriage I got a choice. Was that just a lie to keep me happy?" I asked, my anger rising. How could I not choose the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with?

"The circumstances changed, Bella. It's important you don't fight this."

My head was spinning, my tears threatening to spill and my anger bubbling.

"We had so many opportunities to tell you, but you were so happy at school, seeing the world. No time seemed like the right time, and we're sorry for that."

"Wait…what?" I was confused. How long had they known?

"Isabella, your marriage was arranged when you were twelve. He's been the choice for nearly six years…we just never thought we'd have to deal with it so soon."

They'd known for six years. They knew who I was going to marry for six years. They'd kept it from me for that long, playing along with the notion of me having my own independence, getting to know new people in different countries, the possibilities of finding a guy of my own. They'd chosen already, taken that freedom away from me.

"We're sorry, Bella, but it won't be as bad as you think."

"As bad as I think?" I yelled. "I have to marry someone I've never met, spend the rest of my life with someone I know nothing about! How could you let me believe I had the freedom to choose? Ma, you listened as I told you about Garrett and Stephen! You encouraged me to go out and meet new people! What was the point if all along I was to come home and be forced into something I don't want?"

There had been very few occasions in my adult life when I'd raised my voice to my parents, and it didn't go unnoticed by the stationed bodyguards, nor the workers in the garden.

My mother's face was streaked with silent tears, and my father was watching me gravely. The two people I respected most in the world had been lying to me.

"I feel cheap. What was it? Did you sell me off to the highest bidder?" I spat.

"Bella! How could you think that?"

"Maybe because you've lied to me for most of my life? You've sold my future to the highest bidder, took the one thing I had left in my life to choose for myself! I didn't choose to be born here or brought up the way I did! I didn't argue when you packed me off to Switzerland at eleven, or complain when I had to spend my holidays learning about our family and its history. You led me to believe I'd be able to choose who I spent the rest of my life with, and I actually looked forward to it! I always knew it might not be with the person I wanted, but there was always a possibility that we'd love each other as much as you do…now, I don't even have that…"

I felt tired suddenly. My tears were dripping from my chin, and I knew I'd made a scene. Wiping them with the back of my hand, noting that my mascara had run too, I turned to leave, needing to be anywhere but with them.

"Isabella…" My father's voice was old, tired and rough from emotion, and it stopped me in my tracks.

"Forgive me, sire, but I need to be alone." I heard his slow intake of breath and knew I'd hurt him. I only ever called him by his title in public or in interviews, never at home. However, I needed that separation.

I was halfway to the door when my mother's voice interrupted me. "Isabella, don't you want to know who he is?" She didn't sound smug, but tired like my father. She knew I wasn't okay and was cautious in asking. I guessed I'd have to know eventually.

Maybe when I walked down the aisle and had to say his name in front of millions of people.

"What does it matter, Ma? It's not like it's going to change," I replied resignedly, before entering the cool shade of the house.

I nearly ran into someone coming out into the grand hall, but I ignored them, mumbled a small sorry, and continued towards the marble staircase. It didn't occur to me that they weren't dressed in palace uniform and that there shouldn't have been anyone other than immediate family in the palace.

It seemed to take twice as long to get back to my room as it did to come out of it. I passed maidsthat all stood with their backs to the wall and let me pass, but I didn't acknowledge any of them as I usually would.

I drew the curtains in my room, and crawled in beside the largest teddy on my floor, snuggling amongst them all like I used to do when I was little and scared of the thunder outside. Choosing my favourite from the pile – a giant pea – the irony was not lost on me. I cuddled in and shut my eyes, trying to shut the world around me out.

I didn't stop the tears as they tracked down my cheeks, nor did I answer my phone when it rang. Even when the light outside faded and the moon made an appearance, I stayed curled in my safe place and ignored the rest of the palace as it went about its business.

No one else's life had been turned upside down. For everyone else, the sun went down with the same old problems as it had rose with.

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**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Soooo, what do we think?**

**This fic wont be too long, but it wont be like five chapters either :) Somewhere in the middle should do it :P**

**Anyways, leave me a wee review if you so wish, if not I'll see you next time!**

**You can follow me on twitter at SarahhhhhhhJane or subscribe to my blog for teasers and goss at . :D**

**Sarah x**


	2. The Palace Visitor

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**417 favourites! I cannot thank any of you enough :) I've only replied to those of you who asked specific questions, but as previous readers will know I always try to reply to everyone who reviews after the first chapter :)**

**Onwards! Edward makes a proper appearance in this chapter...**

**Also, there are LOTS of clues spread out through the chapters of this fic, I wonder how many of you will pick up on some of them as we go through? :P**

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**Chapter Two: The Palace Visitor**

I awoke disorientated and warm. I distinctly remembered being amongst all my teddy bears, all cosy and protected by their numbers like when I was little, but I woke up tucked up in bed with my favourite teddy under my arm atop the covers.

I tried to recall moving myself in the middle of the night, but I hadn't.

Instead, the feeling of being lifted by strong arms and placed into bed floated through my head. Clearly, I had been dreaming, hearing things, and imagining the warmth and security that had surrounded me. I'd invented someone's chuckle and a voice saying, "I remember you," before my stuffed pea had been placed under my arm.

No, I had definitely been dreaming.

I wished I'd dreamed everything else, though. The argument with my parents was real, and the prospect of being married off to someone I didn't know was a reality.

I knew my behaviour from the day before would never be tolerated again. I wouldn't get away with acting like a spoiled brat a second longer. My king would expect more of me, and so would the side of him that was my father first.

That didn't mean I'd be happy about it.

I took my time showering and dressing. I told Angela to bring my breakfast to my suite and ate it slowly on my balcony in the cool morning sun. I wasn't sure what was expected of me, and it made me feel out of place. I didn't know if I would have nothing to do with my day like I had expected the day before, or if I'd have to arrange to meet my future husband, or even, God forbid, start planning my wedding.

My heart rate sped up as I thought about it. I hadn't asked any questions the day before, had been too angry, upset, and betrayed to stick around and find anything out. When would I be married? Where? To whom? And why?

Why was it suddenly so important that I get married, and why to the specific person that it would be?

A few hours later, I was at the end of the corridor my room was situated on, about to turn the corner to go down the stairs, when I heard them. The maids, chatting and giggling, unaware they had an audience, or an eavesdropper.

"Have you seen him?" one asked in whispered excitement.

"Yes! I made up his suite yesterday, and he came in when I was finishing the bed! I just stood there like a gaping fish. I don't think I've ever looked like such a fool…" she groaned.

I wondered who they were talking about. I wasn't aware there was anyone else in the palace, but as I pieced together bits from my subconscious it made sense. The extra luggage, the extra car, and the person I bumped into on my rush through the palace the previous day.

"What's he like in real life?" the first maid asked her.

"Gorgeous. Seriously…tall, handsome, a smile of an angel, eyes that sparkle…everything…not to mention the hair…oh God, how I'd love to run my hands through that hair. And he was so polite as I left, he even held the door open for me. The man seems perfect. She's so lucky…" she gushed before their voices seemed to get quieter and I realised they were heading down the servant's passage to the right of the staircase. The servants in the palace were not allowed to be seen "front-of-house" as it were, and had many a secret passage to get about by, most of which I'd discovered as a small child.

I frowned. Something told me I hadn't been alone when I'd discovered those palace secrets, but apart from a cousins staying over the holidays, I couldn't think of who it could have been.

I smiled as I replayed their conversation. The girl's excitement was infectious, and the way she described the mystery man might be enough to make anyone agree with her. He did sound perfect.

_There has to be something wrong with him_, I thought.

"Princess, you are required down at the stables this morning. I was asked to escort you myself."

Alec, my father's head security advisor, was watching me as I came down the staircase into the grand entrance hall. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He was only to escort me there himself to make sure I actually arrived and didn't run away.

Not that I'd get far. There were very few people in the world who didn't know my face. There was nowhere for me to go, and certainly nowhere for me to hide.

"Thank you, Alec. I don't know how I'd possibly make it across the grounds safely without your help," I replied sarcastically, catching the smirk that settled on his face before he managed to hide it.

"Tell me, what dangers might you be saving me from? Errant leaf? A sudden gust of wind?"

He chuckled quietly as we began our walk from the patio to the stables. "Well, Princess, we all know how famed you are for tripping over flat surfaces. I wouldn't want you to give yourself an injury."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. Alec had been around for as long as I could remember, and for that length of time he'd been making me laugh, telling me stories and jokes, and even putting bandages on my scraped knees when I was a child.

"You should laugh more often, Princess. It suits you," he added quietly as we kept a slow pace.

I smiled faintly; he'd been telling me the same thing since I was small.

"So you keep saying, Alec, but today doesn't feel like a day for laughter."

"You never know, Miss. It might surprise you."

I looked around at him, narrowing my eyes as he shrugged. He knew what I was heading to the stables for, and _he knew_. Someone had told him what I'd found out the day before. News travelled fast in the palace, and it didn't really surprise me, but it bothered me that everyone would know I was to be married when I didn't even want to be.

"I'm not ready for this, Alec."

We both knew I wasn't talking about arriving at the stables. He'd watched me grow up; he knew me as well as anyone in the palace did.

"You, Princess, are stronger than you think. And the young man waiting in there knows just how special you are. Trust your parents, Bella, but trust in yourself more."

With a nod of his head and a tip of his hat, he turned on his heel and headed back the way we'd come, leaving me to ponder his riddle. It took me a minute to realise just what he'd said, and my heart suddenly sped up.

He was in the stables. I'd been brought down to one of my favourite places as an ambush. I stared at the open doorway, seeing nothing but darkness on the other side with the sun shining in my eyes. I could hear the horses inside neighing softly, and it solidified my decision. I wasn't going to let a meeting with him taint the happiness and calm I felt when I was with Steele.

He'd just have to wait; it wasn't like there was anyone around to stop me leaving. I turned, intent on going around the side and through the trees, knowing I couldn't go back to the palace but content with heading down to the lake to waste a few hours.

"Leaving so soon, Princess? I'm hurt…" _That voice_.

With my shoulders squared, I looked back at the doorway and found a man standing in it, his shoulder against the wood, one foot crossed over the other one, and his arms folded in front of him. His slate-grey cotton t-shirt, and the dark-wash jeans that hung perfectly from his hips atop his brown leather high-tops, made his skin seem pale, but the way his clothes fit him had me thinking completely different thoughts altogether.

Thoughts, I reminded myself, I shouldn't have been thinking at all. This man, no matter how good looking he had turned out to be, was my enemy, of sorts.

He was looking at me expectantly, but not in an "I'm waiting for an answer" kind of way. It was almost like he was waiting for me to prove something to him, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

His face was angular, his jaw covered by a slight shadow, his eyes sparkling in the light that reached them, and his hair…it wasn't until I reached his hair that I realised I was looking at the same man the maid in the palace had been talking about. She had been right.

It took me too long to realise I had been staring for far too long, and my tongue was slow to spring into action.

"Yes, well, it seems I was tricked into coming down here. I have no intention of sticking around, so I bid you good-day."

I noticed his face fall and wondered why before I reminded myself I didn't care. I had only taken two steps when his voice stopped me again.

"Wait, I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself."

There was an edge of desperation to his voice that I couldn't quite understand as I stood with my back to him. Stubbornly I didn't turn around, nor did I answer him. I realised I was being rude and aloof, but I just stood there, waiting for him to continue.

"Princess?" His voice was closer this time; he'd come up behind me without my hearing him. Sighing internally, I turned slowly, noting the way my heart rate stuttered as I took in his close proximity.

We stood in silence, staring at each other. I could feel my face heating the longer I was subjected to his gaze, but more than that, I felt warm as his eyes flicked over my face, between my eyes, down over my lips, following the flowing curls of my hair.

The fact that it wasn't unwelcome was surprising to me, but he seemed different from the others. He wasn't staring, but appraising, and it almost seemed like he was unsure of himself as he looked me over. I didn't understand it.

I jumped slightly when he suddenly cleared his throat, and I looked towards the stable behind him so that I had something else to concentrate on. I tried to look bored. I tried to look like I didn't care and that I couldn't wait to be away from him.

I didn't feel those things, but I told myself that I _should be_ feeling those things. I'd barely been in his presence ten minutes and already he was confusing me.

"My name is Edward Masen, Your Highness." He surprised me by changing my title and bowing before me. He was being respectful, and there wasn't a hint of sarcasm about his demeanour.

_Edward Masen. _Edward _Masen. I know that name._

He looked expectant again.

"Lord Masen?" I asked quietly, unsure if I had made the right connection. He looked disappointed.

"Yes, Princess. My father is Lord Carlisle Masen." He bowed his head again, and I tried my hardest not to stare at his unruly hair or imagine running my fingers through the silky strands much like the maid had described.

"I remember him. It's been a few years, but I met him here at the palace, I think. We were holding a charity event for his hospital, if I recall?" I didn't mean it as a question, but it came out that way anyway.

"That's right. He's a paediatric heart surgeon here in London." He smiled, and he seemed genuinely pleased that we were making small talk. I tried not to roll my eyes, but I think I did because his smile fell.

I should have felt bad.

"You couldn't make it?" I asked. I definitely didn't remember meeting him before. I was sure I wouldn't have forgotten something like that.

"No, Your Highness, I was at school in Italy. There was a storm and I didn't get back in time. It said strictly no late entries on the invitation, so I had to stay at my parents' home in the city."

I took the time to imagine how different our first meeting would have been. I remembered my father introducing me to Carlisle and his wife, Esme, as close friends of my mother's from before my mother and father were married. If Edward had been there, we would have been introduced. Of course, my parents would have already known us to be practically engaged, but I would have met him of my own accord, made my own judgement of him – as an educated, polite and handsome young man that I would have been delighted to spend time with – he would have asked if he could have the honour of a dance, we would have spent the night with our heads bowed close together at a table talking about everything and nothing, and at the end of the night, I would have left with a promise of seeing him again.

It all played out like a movie in front of my eyes, but it was all a lie. Of course, it would have been a lie then too, but I wondered how much different it would have been if I'd met and fallen for him first, before I'd found out I was to marry him.

Yes, in my scenario, it didn't take long at all for me to fall for his wit, humour, and charm.

I was saddened slightly when his clearing his throaat again brought me back to the present. I had absolutely no idea if he was intelligent, funny, charming, or witty. I only knew him to be handsome – because I could see – and that he was polite, from the account of a maid. That was nothing on which to base a marriage.

And I was angry again. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the fact that we just…had to get married. The stubborn streak in me said that even if I did get to know him and found him to be a good match, I still wouldn't admit to it, still wouldn't like the fact that we'd been forced together.

"Can you ride?" I asked suddenly. He seemed surprised but happy that I had engaged in conversation with him again.

"Yes, Princess. My father taught me as a child." A troubled look passed across his handsome face as if stuck in some memory, and I saw a twinge of sadness in his eyes before it all disappeared.

"Good, well, feel free to take a horse. You'd be surprised how far you can go in the palace grounds. Good-day, Edward."

He was smirking, but it did nothing to hide his sadness when I turned from him and walked away for the final time. I would not be tricked nor forced into spending time with him. I would do it of my own merit, and I didn't care if that didn't come before our wedding, because it was increasingly clear to me that there was no way out of it, anyway.

I spent the day down by the lake. I saw Edward taking me up on my offer as he rode down to the waterside later that afternoon. Thankfully, I had chosen one of my childhood hideaways and remained hidden as the horse lapped at the cool water.

I ducked even lower behind the branches of the rose bush in front of me when he looked straight in my direction, but I was sure he couldn't see me. It didn't stop me feeling foolish, however. I was supposed to be a grown woman and I was hiding behind shrubbery from a perfectly innocent man.

It was just mother, father, Rosalie, and I for dinner, and I didn't know I'd been worried about it until I let out a sigh of relief when the servants started serving the food and no one else arrived. I wondered who Edward was staying with in the palace, but I told myself not to care. It seemed I would be doing that a lot in days to come.

My father said nothing about my activities for the day, but I was sure they both knew by the way they looked at me from the other side of the table. They were unhappy, but they were also still upset and hurt over my behaviour from the day before. Rosalie said nothing, and it wasn't until she excused herself from the table without even looking at me that I realised she must have been hurt too.

She'd heard from someone else that her sister was getting married. It should have been me to tell her.

It should have been a happy experience wherein we'd both gushed over how handsome he was and how happy I'd be, and we'd excitedly chatter about wedding details. It was just another thing my parents had taken away from me.

I was just about to excuse myself from the table when I'd finished eating as my mother spoke up.

"Edward is a fine young man, Isabella. He will make you happy and support you when you need it most if you let him. That's what marriages are about."

"Maybe they are, Mother. After all, how would I know? But I will never truly believe that he loves me, if he ever even says he does, and I will always hate you just a bit for that. Goodnight, Ma, Pa." I curtseyed slightly to my father, hurting him even more by continuing to treat him like my king and not my father.

For the second day in a row, there were tears on my mother's face as I left the room. I felt the guilt weighing down on me as I escaped the room. However, instead of going straight to bed, I made a beeline for the servants' passageway behind the staircase and headed down the smaller stone stairs to the kitchen at the back of the palace.

I was left alone, curtseyed and bowed to on occasion, and a few of the servants who'd known me the longest even smiled as I made my way along the cool, narrow passages.

Rosalie was sitting on a stool at one of the islands, ice-cream tub in front of her and spoon in her hand, when I arrived at the great oak door of the kitchen. Great minds think alike and all that.

I sat down beside her, grabbed a spoon from the metal holder on the counter, and smiled when she slid the tub between us.

"This sucks, Bella," she said quietly, her voice sad, much sadder than a fourteen year-old's should be.

"It'll be okay, Rose," I answered, almost on autopilot. Did I truly believe that?

"How? You have to marry someone you don't know, someone you certainly don't love, and you're fighting with Ma and Pa! It's all horrible!"

Abandoning the spoon, I stood from my stool and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, waiting until she wound hers around my back and hugged me in return.

"I've always known things would be different for me, Rosie. I'm heir to our throne, there's a certain amount of expectation when it comes to how I live my life. If marrying someone I don't want to marry is part of the course for me, then I just have to get on with it.

"But listen to me." I pulled back and waited for her to look up at me. "I promise it won't be like this for you. You're going to meet a great guy, fall in love, have his children, and live the way you want to live, do you hear me?" She nodded, tears glistening unshed in her eyes, and I hugged her to me again.

"Don't worry about me. It's just something that has to happen. We can all get through this."

She nodded again and pulled away: picking up her spoon and handing me mine. She smiled mischievously before speaking up. "Plus, he definitely isn't hard to look at…"

I gasped before laughing loudly, feeling freer than I had in what felt like weeks as we giggled over our ice-cream. I remembered Alec's words from earlier in the day and felt them weighing me back down. I didn't see much in my immediate future that would have me laughing and thought I'd best make the most of it.

It was only minutes later that Sue arrived, apparently just starting her shift. The person that trailed in behind her had my smile falling and our giggling fading. Edward had somehow found his way to the kitchen along the same passage I had used, but I didn't stick around to wonder how he'd known about it.

"Come in away from the door, dear; let me get you something!" Sue exclaimed, immediately getting to work, opening the fridge and the pantry to see what she could make up.

I narrowed my eyes at Edward. I realised I was a hypocrite, eavesdropping myself that very morning, but I was uncomfortable with him knowing anything about how I was feeling. I wondered how much he had heard, but the pained look on his face told me he'd heard just about all of it.

Well, at least he knew I didn't want to marry him, and that I was unhappy with my parents about the whole thing.

I wasn't sure I liked the idea of him knowing how attractive I found him, however. He didn't seem egotistical so I hoped he'd forget that part.

"That would be my cue to leave. It's suddenly too crowded in here."

Sue looked at me, surprised. I don't think she'd ever heard me speak ill of someone in my life, especially not be rude about someone in front of their face. Her eyes flicked between Edward and me, turning sad as she looked back at me.

What was it with everyone being so sad about me not liking him? Why were they all so sure I'd just love the prospect of marrying a stranger? I didn't, and the sooner they realised that, the less awkward it would be for all of us.

"Goodnight, Sue, Rosie." I nodded at them both before turning to leave, their mumbled replies reaching my ears before I got to the door.

A third answer had my steps faltering on the stairs. "Sleep tight, Princess."

I shivered as his voice found my ears and his words floated over me. No one should have any sort of power over me, especially not with their voice alone, and that fact made me climb into bed feeling betrayed and angry at the world all over again.

I cried myself to sleep.

I dreamed of myself, much younger, stretched out across my bed, sobbing my heart out and my mother stroking my hair, trying to calm me down. All I remembered was screaming "you can't take him away from me," before I woke up, pain and sadness squeezing at my heart, making it increasingly hard to breathe.

Afraid to close my eyes lest the pain return, I spent the night sitting at my window, willing myself to stay awake. It even helped me to know I wasn't the only one who was having trouble sleeping. Edward alternated between sitting on the patio below my room, his head in his hands and muttering to himself, or pacing back and forth on the lawn.

I wondered if his thoughts were anything like mine.

Then I told myself I didn't care.

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**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

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	3. It's All In The Detail

**Author's Chapter Note:**

**Hey all! **

**I hope I managed to reply to you all, thank you for reading, reviewing and favouriting like mad!**

**Maybe some of you will lighten up on Bella a bit with this chapter! But then, maybe you won't :P**

**Enjoy! x**

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**Chapter Three: It's all in the Detail**

Days that I had always previously enjoyed at home felt like weeks.

The weeks felt like decades of a life I hadn't yet lived.

I was drowning in unwanted wedding details.

It should have been a happy time. I should have been excited about every little thing, from the bridesmaid flowers to the hairpins on my head, but sadly, I couldn't bring myself to care about any of it.

Advisors I'd never even met before were suddenly addressing me as if they knew what was best for me. My father was making the most important decisions about the day with help from _his_ advisors. None of it was personal, none of it was mine.

Edward, of course, was present for most of it. Over the weeks, however, he became more and more distant. At first, he tried every day to engage me in conversation, he would smile at me when he saw me, bow at the appropriate times and even sit by me in silence when we were in the same room.

I hadn't spoken to him except for through absolute necessity. I didn't smile in return; I didn't acknowledge his presence when he respected mine. To put it mildly, I was absolutely horrible to him, and I suddenly didn't blame him for retreating back into himself. I did, however, find that I cared he no longer tried to speak to me. Somehow, it had become the highlight of my day to see him and hear his voice address me; hear the genuine interest in how I was doing and if I was feeling okay.

"Isabella, please. Pay attention!" My mother snapped at me, causing many a head to turn in our direction. The Queen raising her voice in front of staff was an unusual occurrence, but I guessed I was testing her patience.

We were sampling cakes. There was chocolate sponge – your everyday sponge – white chocolate sponge, and every possible mix of flavoured jams and creams. I think I'd counted a total of twenty-two cake samples when I'd sat down. I don't think we'd even got through half before my mother got annoyed with me.

To be honest, they were all amazing. Made by the best bakers up and down the country, all vying for the honour to make a royal wedding cake. Some were big companies, others just little local bakeries that had been specially selected for their services to other royal occasions or members.

Edward was sitting across from me, his foot resting alongside mine under the table, and I'd been trying to ignore the way the fabric of his jeans brushed my bare leg every time he fidgeted, which was _a lot._

The dark shadows under his eyes told me he hadn't slept, again, and the out-of-control manner of his hair was the outcome of him running his fingers through it all morning. From watching him surreptitiously over the last weeks, I knew this to be an outlet of his stress. If he was frustrated or annoyed, with himself or others, he took it out on his precious locks. Yes, they were precious, I'd come to admire them in the short time I'd known him-while everyone else in the palace was turned out to perfection, he dressed casually and comfortably, and his hair was never, ever tamed.

I liked it that way. He seemed more normal to me that way.

His eyes snapped to mine when my mother's outburst garnered his attention, and I blushed under his scrutiny. I didn't want him to know I'd been thinking about him instead of my – _our _– wedding cake, and I was terrified he'd be able to read it all over me with those inquisitive emerald eyes of his.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little warm. Out of the first half, I like six, nine and eleven the most. I'm just going to get some air, ask Edward which he prefers." I avoided eye contact with him as I blushed deeper, knowing I hadn't used his name in a very long time, if ever.

This was the first wedding meeting we'd both been present for, so I'd never had to act like an in-love fiancée in front of anyone before. I wasn't sure I was actually managing it. I'd barely looked at him, hardly asked him his opinion and avoided interacting with him at all. They had to know something was up.

I excused myself from the table, nodding to the gentlemen amongst the party that stood from the table when I did – Edward included. His eyes were concerned as he watched me leave, but he was distracted by my mother asking him which cake he liked the most out of the three I had chosen so far. I think she was just happy I looked like I was making an effort.

Until then, all the decisions had been made by her and my father, with both of them just making it look like the choice had come from me. I had no idea what colour my flowers were, who was doing my hair and makeup, how my hair and makeup would be done, which carriage I would be using or anything about Edward's side of the wedding.

All of the "important" decisions hadn't come my way yet, and I was dreading them even more. My dress for example, was the most important part of my day, and I couldn't imagine myself picking it, or trying it on, or falling in love with it. How could I fall in love with a dress when I wasn't even in love with the person I was marrying?

My breathing was coming in shallow gasps as I made it to the entrance hall, and I gulped in air as I tried to calm myself down. Apart from a few moments when everything had gotten the better of me, I'd managed to numb myself to everything that was happening around me. Sliding down the wall, I ended up in a curled up ball on the floor, in plain view of anyone who walked through the main hall of the palace, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Bells?" My head snapped up, and I gasped, my tears flowing more freely as I took in Alice's form rushing towards me through blurry eyes. She was here. She'd made it.

I'd told her the night Edward had eavesdropped on my conversation with Rosalie that I was to be married, and she'd booked herself on to the very next flight, telling me that Fashion Week could wait for another year. She'd only been in the palace two days when she got news of her father's illness. I'd completely understood that she'd had to leave, and I hadn't expected her back so soon.

She skidded to a stop beside me and threw herself onto the floor, throwing her arms around me and cradling me close as I sobbed into her coat. I let myself feel it all, the sorrow, the pain, the uncertainty and sheer fear I felt about my upcoming public nuptials. There, on the palace floor, I let her rock me and try to comfort me the only way a best friend knew how.

"I'll get you out of this if it's the last thing I do, Bells, I promise. Even if I have to kill him and hide the body. No one makes my best friend this unhappy!" I snorted ungracefully at her words, letting them help me calm down. We both knew there was nothing realistic that could be done, but the simple fact that she was on my side helped me more than she knew. I had someone to share my grief with that wasn't part of the evil plan in the first place, as I'd refused to show Rosie just how badly I was handling everything.

"I have to do this, Ali. I can't, but I have to." She pulled away, wiping gently under my eyes to no doubt fix my ruined makeup.

"You have more strength than I would in your position," she sighed with a sad smile, applying some powder to my face. "What's he like? Have you got to know him?"

I shrug before shaking my head. "I haven't even spoken to him. He probably thought I'd forgotten his name until I said it about five minutes ago. I can't Ali, I know it's probably not his fault, but a part of me hates him for putting me through this." My voice had risen and Alice's eyes were fixed guiltily over my shoulder when I finished.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt. I, uh, just wanted to make sure you were okay, Princess." Edward's voice was resigned and sad – once again he'd heard me speak honestly about our wedding.

Something inside my chest sort of panged as I realised I was hurting him. I didn't know how or why he cared so much about what I thought of him, but every time he learned I didn't care about him or our union, he acted like someone had kicked his puppy, and it was getting harder to handle.

He was also still calling me Princess or Your Highness. I hadn't told him he had the right to call me by my name, not even the long version. Of course, I knew that would have to change, especially in public, but until then, I wanted him to know he wasn't one of the people I cared to use my name.

Alice stood up, brushing imaginary dust from her knees as she stepped around me still heaped on the floor.

"Alice Higgins. I'm Bells' best friend from boarding school," she introduced herself with her hand stuck out to shake his. He grasped it tightly, and I even noticed him swallow before answering.

"It's good to meet you, Alice." He seemed nervous, and I had to tell myself not to find that cute.

"Yes, well, I can't say the feeling is mutual," she answered shortly before turning and helping me to my feet. With her back to him, she sorted my hair and applied a little lip-gloss to my lips.

"Don't let anyone in that room see your weakness, Bells. Don't give your mother the satisfaction of seeing the pain you're in." Over her shoulder, I saw Edward's shoulders drop at her last statement as his head bowed and his eyes hit the floor. He was completely defeated, like he was only just realising he was fighting a losing battle. Although, I wasn't sure why he was fighting in the first place.

For some reason, marrying me seemed important to him, like he actually wanted to do it. I had to tell my ego to pipe down when it told me _"of course he does, you're the heir to the throne."_

"You seem to be okay with this circus, Mr Masen, tell me, how long have you known?" My eyes widened at Alice's question, I'd never thought that even he had been in on it. He had the decency to look sheepish, but instead of looking at Alice, he kept eye contact with me as he answered.

"My mother and father informed me of our match on my eighteenth birthday. They said it had been arranged when I was much younger, around the time my real parents died," he answered softly. I found myself gasping in response, how painful it must have been to lose both parents.

"You're adopted?" I asked before I even realised I'd opened my mouth.

"Yes, Your Highness. Lord Masen and his wife were kind enough to take me in when they couldn't have children of their own. I believe your parents are the ones I have to thank for ending up as I did."

I furrowed my brow. How did my parents have anything to do with a little boy's adoption? How had they even known who Edward was back then? Maybe, as King, my father had just had some sway in the adoption going through smoothly; that must be what he meant. The Masens after all, were long-time friends of him and my mother. Alice brought me out of my thoughts once again.

"And when was your eighteenth birthday?"

"I turned eighteen almost five years ago."

He'd known for five years. He'd had five years to come to terms with the fact that he was going to marry a Princess; that his life was going to improve dramatically, that he was going to be a Prince of our empire by marriage. He certainly hadn't gotten a bad deal.

"So I'm the only one who's had a marriage sprung on them. And apparently the only one who doesn't want the wedding to even happen. It must be so good for you, Mr. Masen, marrying a Princess, gaining a title and home and security in life. How hard all this must be for you!" I answered angrily.

I made to walk past him when his fingers closed gently around my wrist, a warm zing flowing through me from the point of contact.

"Princess, please. It's not like that," he answered, pleading with me to believe him, but I was too angry and not in any mind to even listen to what he had to say. He'd had five years to prepare some line, and I wasn't going to fall for anything he wanted to tell me.

"Don't touch me. Excuse me if I don't believe anything you have to say, five years is plenty of time to learn a part."

His hand dropped from my wrist as if I'd burned him, and I missed his touch almost immediately. It seemed to ground me, calm me despite the anger I felt bubbling inside me.

"Let's get this over with. Alice, whichever cake you like the most is the one we're having. Please make it quick." I waited until she was by my side, my eyes holding Edward's, fury on pain, before heading back into the dining room where the excited chatter about my cake died down.

It took Alice twenty minutes to make her choice. It was recorded, ordered and the decision was celebrated by everyone but me. My mother was watching me carefully, sadly, because she knew I'd made no effort whatsoever.

I didn't look at Edward again. I kept my legs as far from his as possible, and ignored the way he tried to get my attention before I left.

One advisor even had the gall to tell me I was so lucky, my fiancé was gorgeous and polite and couldn't keep his eyes off me. If Alice hadn't thanked her and pretended to play along, I may have punched her. Instead, I stared at a mark on the wall until they were finished with pleasantries before both of us left.

Things were easier with Alice by my side, but I also knew that the decisions about the biggest day of my life were about to get much harder.

An advisor three days later handed me a list with over seven hundred names on it, only two of which I knew, for potential guests at the ceremony. With Alice by my side, I requested an audience with the King and told him I knew no one on the list and didn't know what to do.

"It would be easier if you did it, Sire. I know none of these people, I couldn't possibly choose fairly." My tone was bored and lifeless; the last of my strength having left me the previous day, when I'd had to choose my flowers. A choice I'd known for as long as I could remember, but when it came to making it, I couldn't find the right appreciation or excitement for getting what I'd always wanted.

"Leave us," he called, surprising me. Alice turned to leave, but I gripped her arm, knowing I needed her there for support and strength. Charlie's eyes landed on her, but he said nothing about her presence as everyone else left the hall he had been working in.

"This is your day, Bella. Forget the list, start with the people you want there, the people you know and care for, and after that we'll work together on everyone else." He sounded as tired as I did.

"I don't want anyone there. Pretending in front of people I don't know will be hard enough. Trying to act in front of my friends and family will surely break me, Father. I am not that good an actor."

His eyes were boring into me, but I held my head high despite the way my hands trembled. He fired a text from his phone, and what felt like seconds later, the doors at the back of the room opened and someone made their way quietly to where my father was sitting and Alice and I were standing in front of him.

Somehow, and I don't know how, I knew it was Edward before he was anywhere near me. Maybe it was the way my pain seemed less oppressive, or the way the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention, but there he was, standing by my side in front of his King and future father-in-law.

"You wanted to see me, Sir." I was surprised at the way he addressed my father, and even more surprised by the smile that settled on my father's face as he looked at Edward.

"Yes, I just wanted to ask you how many people you'd personally like to invite to your wedding. Bella informs me she wants no one she knows there. I have to know how many seats in that cathedral I have to fill with perfect strangers to make up the numbers." I didn't miss the way his eyes flicked to mine in almost disappointment before he looked at Edward sadly.

He was just yet someone else who was on Team Edward with the whole thing. I was beginning to think Alice was the only one on my side as even Rosie seemed to be warming to her future brother.

"No one?" Edward's whispered question seemed to slip out without his permission as he looked at the side of my face. I refused to turn to look at him, knowing the sadness I'd see permanently etched into his dulling eyes would be my undoing.

"I cannot act that well, Mr Masen. I fear I will not be able to fool those who know me best, and it is important for everyone involved that I do. Strangers will know nothing of the anguish I feel when I stand at the altar and lie before God."

"Isabella, enough!" My father's loud, angry voice frightened me, and I flinched back from his ire. I didn't remember a time when he had ever been truly angry with me. "I will not tolerate this behaviour any longer. I realise you feel betrayed and angry, but this wedding will be the highlight of this empire's history! You are the heir to this throne, and your country needs this from you, do I make myself clear?"

With tears prickling my eyes and shame creeping over me I bowed my head, hating that I was showing emotion in front of my father and his new favourite person.

"If it is the will of the country, then, for them, I shall see it done," I answered in a practiced tone, my language stilted in the accent that had been instilled in me since the moment I started practicing for my turn as leader. The Queen's English.

I made sure my father knew that everything wasn't suddenly okay. With an indignant bow of my head, I turned and left the hall, Alice hot on my heels, probably afraid of being left alone with a King she didn't know at all.

With a clearer head, I realised that it would be highly suspect for me to marry in the eyes of the world without my family there to celebrate. We had always been close, and everyone who knew anything about the Royal family knew that.

So, with a new resolve and a better attitude, I sat with Alice, Rosie and my mother an afternoon at the end of that week and tried to work through the list I had been given.

All the family were put first; from my father's brothers and all their children and even grandchildren, to my mother's sister and her children, and her own parents who were still alive and living in Monaco. Their names were all preceded by Duke and Duchess, Lady and Lord, and looked like a very important list of people. To me, they were just family, and the prospect of having them all together was actually one I looked forward to.

Of course, Alice came next, her parents and her plus one of choice. Rosie had the choice of three close friends who had to be screened and approved by royal security staff, and their parents as well considering their age.

Lord and Lady Masen came next, and I found I couldn't fill in the rest of the sheet beneath their names because I knew nothing of Edward's family. Of course, my mother put a call out for him almost immediately, and I sat indignantly, waiting for him to join us.

He kept his eyes on either his hands, the table, or my mother. He made no effort to look at me or even acknowledge I was in the same room as him, and I found it bothered me. It hurt that he didn't look up and smile, or watch me carefully like he used to as I answered something. I was getting a taste of my own medicine, and I didn't like it. Now I knew how he'd felt all the times I spoke ill of him.

"My father's brother and his wife, and their two children I suspect should be first. My mother has a brother in a wheelchair who has a long term fiancée, so them too." He proceeded to give my mother their names and addresses from memory, and from that I realised his family was as close as my own.

"I…I don't know, maybe it's stupid…" he said next, and immediately, he had my attention. I stopped flicking through the list we previously had, sat up straighter in my chair and actually looked at him. He was biting his bottom lip and staring at his hands as his fingers entwined and separated from each other over and over.

"Who?" I asked softly, and for the first time in three days, he looked at me, and spoke directly to me.

"My mother…my birth mother…she has a sister who never forgets my birthday or a Christmas. Even when our address changed, and Esme said she'd forgotten to give her the new one; a card and present arrived for my birthday on time. Even when I was at school in Italy, she'd send a letter every so often to ask how I was getting on.

"She's married with three children, two older than Bella, that are married themselves, and one younger. She lives on the west coast of Ireland now."

"If you want her there, we'll send out invitations to them all…is that four different households?" My mother asked, making note of getting all the different addresses so an invitation went to each couple.

"If that's okay?" Edward asked me, his eyes searching mine for something. Did he honestly think I'd say no? This was his day as well; he had as much say in what happened as I did, maybe more so considering he actually _wanted _it to happen.

"Of course, they're family." I didn't realise how my answer sounded until Alice turned to look at me and Edward allowed himself a small smile.

They'd be my family, too. For some reason I found myself wanting to know that part of Edward, a link to his past from before he was heir to a title of his own. Something told me his birth parents hadn't been wealthy or aristocratic, and that side of him intrigued me because it made him normal, different.

"Well, I'll leave you ladies to it…unless you'd like some help?" He stood to leave, and I felt the sudden urge to stop him.

"Actually, stay. Mother, Rosie, Alice, maybe Edward and I could look through this list together?" I asked them all, but my mother specifically, holding up the book of names I'd never heard before.

All three of them looked like gaping fish, and I tried really hard not to giggle like a teenager. Well, I was a teenager, but I certainly didn't feel like one any longer.

"Oh, of course. After all, it is your day. Come, Rosalie, we'll have lunch, and Alice can join us, we haven't been able to spend much time together at all since you got here." My mother linked Rosie's arm through hers before touching Alice lightly on the elbow.

The three of them left their notes, pens and scribbles behind, heading out of the hall without a backwards glance, apart from Alice who stopped at the door and shot me a smile of encouragement before closing it behind her and leaving me with Edward.

"Do you have your phone?" I asked him as he came to sit beside me. I could feel the warmth of him radiating towards me almost immediately, and I had to try and ignore the way my body wanted to shift closer to him just so I could be surrounded in his scent, too.

Something about it was incredibly familiar, but when I tried to put my finger on it, all I could come up with was a dream from the night I learned we were to be married. The more I tried to concentrate on what it was, however, the more I thought I was going mad.

"Uh, yeah," he answered, clearly confused as to why I was asking him that of all things.

"Good, 'cause I'm pretty sure we're going to have to Google at least half of these people."

He laughed. Like, really, truly laughed. One hand holding his phone over the table and the other on the back of his neck. Watching him find me so amusing had me smiling before I could control it and seeing me smile at him had his laughter dying in his throat.

He was just looking at me, the humour still dancing in his eyes. I found myself thinking how beautiful he was in that moment and something told me he was thinking along the same lines. There was something in his eyes that made me feel like he'd never dislike what he saw when he looked at me.

"You look beautiful when you smile." And there it was. He was telling the truth, I could see it in his eyes. I swallowed loudly, and I was sure he knew exactly how he was affecting me.

"Let's tackle this, shall we? Otherwise we'll be here all night." I changed the subject and turned back to the list I'd placed between us. I was sure I heard him mumble "that wouldn't be a bad thing" as I grabbed a fresh sheet of paper and a pen, but I ignored him. Facing the situation we were in was a lot harder than basically picking names out of a hat for a ceremony I was still keeping myself detached from.

There were too many issues to deal with if I went there with him.

I knew hardly anything about him, but I was beginning to know more than I wanted about the way he made me feel and the things he could do to me.

It was becoming increasingly clear that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to stay detached from _him_ for long.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Soo, what do we think? :D Hit that review button if you want :)**

**Chapters four and five are two of my favourites, lots of details and truths to come!**

**You can follow me on twitter - at SarahhhhhhJane - or subscribe to my blog - . - for teasers and goss via e-mail if that's easier for you :D**

**See you soon! xx**


	4. A Royal Engagement

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Happy Sunday everyone! Or early Monday if you happen to be on the other side of the world, like I know some of you are ;P**

**Sorry this is a couple of days late, crazy work schedule! It's calming down slowly now though!**

**I'm posting this for you all to read and then heading to my bed for a week, I hope to have lots of thoughts from you when I wake up!**

**Onwards...Edward gets his moment in this chapter, but he doesn't get to say all that he'd like...**

**Hold on, Bella is very up and down in this chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: A Royal Engagement**

A week passed in much the same way. Edward and I were spending more time together under the ever watchful eyes of both my mother and father, making decision upon decision about the biggest day of our lives.

The guest-list had been cut down to a respectable amount of seven hundred people, my father's words, not mine.

The cake was going to be an elegant strawberry flavoured cake with a cream filling and butter cream icing. It would have with delicate hand-carved symbols to tell my romance with Edward in a story-like way decorating each tier.

I had no idea how someone could put the story of our romance into icing when there was no such story. The very idea of it made me feel like a fake, playing up how happy I wasn't in with icing of all things, it just made me feel pretentious.

Alice and Rosalie were going to be my bridesmaids; that decision, at least, had been obvious. Their dresses were being uniquely designed by Alice herself, and I'd chosen the same design house that had made my mother's, to make mine, as my parents had been uneasy with Alice being responsible for my dress. It was a Royal wedding; it had been deemed that only the very best British designer would do. I had only supplied them with a few details of what I actually wanted. As long as there was some lace, it _wasn't_ princess-style, with a huge bell-bottom, and it didn't have satin anywhere near it, I said I'd be as happy as I was going to be.

The girl taking my measurements and notes had looked confused at that, and my mother was far from pleased that I'd slipped in front of an "outsider". I'd forgotten in that moment that not everyone was in on the secret. I was supposed to be head over heels in love with one of the most attractive single men in the country, according to the magazines that had already been sold stories of the two of us spending time together, at least. It was as if a couple of walks in the grounds and eating in the same room was now considered "dating".

Even the date had been set. No one else knew, but Edward and I had sat at either side of the fireplace in his suite one cool evening to discuss it. He had a glass of bourbon in his right hand and I folded mine atop my knee as I watched him swirl the amber liquid mindlessly. I had tried to ignore the way his eyes lingered on my ankles and moved up my bare legs. I blamed the heat I felt in my exposed skin down to the fire quietly crackling beside me. I pretended I hadn't caught him looking, and ignored the way he _tried_ to concentrate on the conversation again.

It was a heady feeling, knowing someone was obviously attracted to you, and wanted to spend time with you. I felt powerful in his presence, like I could make him do anything if it meant pleasing me, but for some reason I also felt vulnerable. I didn't want him to know anything about me, scared he might use it somewhere down the line, to the extent that we always talked about him. I had gotten into the habit of changing the subject every time he asked about me or my past.

I was sure he was on to me, but each time he would just smile sadly to himself and stare into the distance. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I wanted to. I wanted to know what he thought of me, our wedding, my family, the palace I had grown up in…but to ask him outright would be to admit to being curious, and I didn't want to give _him _the satisfaction of gaining my attention.

"It's the start of May now, maybe June? Is that enough time for invitations to go out and everything else to be sorted?" he'd asked me softly, his eyes very much on mine.

"It's a Royal wedding. If we announced it to be at the end of next week everyone would still show up. And I was assured my dress would be ready within a month, that was the only thing that was going to take a long time," I'd replied. I'd given my order – as it were – almost two weeks prior, so June would work.

"How about the twentieth?" I'd asked. For some reason the date had been floating around in my head for weeks, and I had no idea why. I'd checked every diary I still had in my possession and the calendars around the palace to see if there was anything special about it, but I couldn't find anything.

Edward had looked surprised as he answered me. "The twentieth of June? Why?"

He'd looked away quickly when I shrugged. "I don't know really. It's been stuck in my head for a while. We can choose another day if you don't like it."

His piercing gaze landed on me and I'd fidgeted under its intensity. He looked like he was trying to figure me out, like maybe I was lying about something, and I wasn't sure what he'd find.

"No, I guess the twentieth isn't any different from any other day. We'll go with the twentieth."

Once again, his eyes had held that faraway sadness I'd come to know, but got nowhere closer to understanding why. It was like everything I said, everything I did, and most importantly, everything I didn't say or do, made him sad.

I told myself I didn't care, but each time I felt his despondency, something tugged – hard – in my chest. Over the weeks I _had _come to care, and there was nothing I could do about it. We weren't even friends, but there was some connection between us that I couldn't deny, no matter how hard I tried.

That had been only three days before. Today was the day our interview for the press was scheduled. We were telling the whole world about our engagement, and there'd be no going back afterwards.

A television crew would be arriving in a designated part of the palace in under an hour.

Edward and I had decided together – while sitting on the grass down by the lake – that we didn't want some trashy magazine getting the scoop. Later that day, we had one of the Royal publicists go straight to the royal correspondent of the country's main news channel. He had been dealing with my family for nearly twenty years. I wouldn't go so far as to say he was a friend, but he had shown both decorum and respect in the past when dealing with affairs of our family.

I hadn't slept at all, and Alice noticed whenever she walked into my suite.

"Bells, did you sleep at all?" I shook my head, nursing a coffee in my hands.

"I can probably cover it up. I know today is big, but try and relax, Bells. You're not doing yourself any favours mentally or physically by fighting this every step of the way." She looked at me pointedly. I was annoyed that she wasn't sitting beside me and helping me feel sorry for myself, but I also knew she had a point.

Alice yanked me unceremoniously out from under my covers. "Go and shower while I have Angela set up breakfast in your sitting room." Nodding tiredly, I watched her walk out of my bedroom before heading into my en-suite.

I tried not to think about what the day might bring, and instead found myself thinking about previous days in Edward's company as I stepped into my shower. The day down by the lake for instance. I had been stretched out on a blanket enjoying the warm sunshine and gentle breeze when he appeared.

I hadn't seen him, but I felt that strange hum of energy that always flowed over me when he looked at me, and I knew he had to be close. I ignored him of course, keeping to my stubborn ways, but it didn't deter him like it once might have.

He sat down onto the corner of my blanket and brushed a few stray hairs from where they had fallen into my eyes, his fingers leaving a trail of blazing heat across my already warmed skin. It confused me why he was so affectionate with me when I considered us to hardly even be friends.

I suppressed the shiver that wanted to give me away and the smile that tried to form on my lips. His gentle touch was one I had never experienced before, and I was sure that was the only reason he affected me so.

Not what the other, more deeply buried, part of my brain wanted me to think. His touch was so gentle, and his mannerisms towards me were so loving that the sentiment behind them had to be real.

It couldn't be. He didn't know me. But something in his eyes…s_omething_ told me that wasn't true, like somehow, he did know me after all. Maybe he was just a really great actor.

I shook myself out of my musings and finished washing my hair. I stepped out of the shower, and wiped the condensation from the mirror, taking in my appearance.

I was pretty – I knew that – but it was never something I truly cared about. I wasn't supermodel gorgeous, but I had pale, unblemished skin, dark healthy hair and bright eyes. Just a few freckles graced my cheeks, my lips were somewhere between straight and pouty, and everything was in proportion. What more could you ask for, really? I had never cared for wishing anything was different about my appearance; what was the point?

Just over an hour later, Alice had finished doing my hair and make-up, and the two of us were just finishing the fresh fruit that had been laid out on the table for us. Angela was standing in the corner as I ate in silence, and Alice hummed quietly as she finished pinning my hair.

It had been left down, flowing over my shoulders, straightened with a slight curl to the edges. Only one understated diamond pin kept up the two sides of my hair, keeping it out of my face for the duration of the day.

My dress was royal blue, as it was tradition in the family. My mother's, my grandmother's and even my great-grandmother's engagement dresses had all been the same colour, and Alice had taken great delight in making something to tie in with the generations. Making my engagement dress was a sort of test for her from my parents. She'd made dozens before, but this one was special, and if she pulled it off – which she had – I was sure she'd have my mother's official seal of approval.

It had a square neckline with short, cap sleeves in overlapping lace; a waist that looked like the dress had been wrapped around me, and an A-line skirt that ended at my knees. The lace trimming was understated and classy, and according to Alice, had been recycled from one of my mother's honeymoon dresses. She had made a beautiful job of it as usual, and with the palace budget, it seemed even more gorgeous than her previous creations.

I had classic black Mary-Jane court shoes with a small three inch-heel to complete my outfit. I was thankful they were no higher, because there was no way I would make it through the entire day without incident.

When I stood up, I caught Angela's eye in the mirror. I smiled as she blushed and looked back down at the floor.

"What do you think?" I asked her quietly, and saw the joy in her eyes as she realised I was genuinely asking her opinion.

"You look beautiful, Princess. He definitely made the right choice." She blushed again but smiled gently when Alice giggled.

"He sure did. He's the luckiest guy in the world to get you, Bells." I smiled at her with tears glistening in my eyes. I noticed them appearing in Alice's eyes as well when I heard a throat being cleared from the doorway.

There, in a suit cut to perfection, was Edward, his hair as wild as ever, his eyes fixed on me, and his hands holding a box so tightly I wondered if he'd ever let it go.

"Are you ready, Princess?" Angela asked as Edward continued to stare.

"Yes," I answered shakily.

"No," Edward interrupted, causing her to falter in her steps. "I'm sorry, no. My fiancée doesn't have her ring." He smiled at her, disarming her completely, and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Was he really going to flirt with my handmaid in front of me? He could at least do it when I wasn't in the same room, not that I wanted him to do it at all, he was supposed to be keeping up appearances like me.

I ignored the hurt I felt by that thought and focused on Edward as he moved towards me.

"I apologise it's late. It only arrived at the palace last night."

I gasped slightly as Edward lowered himself onto one knee in the middle of my suite and opened the box.

"Isabella Swan, I know this is a little superfluous, but would you do me the honour of becoming my wife and making Alice right? I really would be the luckiest man in the world."

I think Alice clapped in excitement from somewhere in the room, but I was too busy trying to decide what I wanted to look at more – Edward's sparkling emerald eyes that seemed to hold all the truth I would ever need – or the equally sparkling emerald and diamond ring he was holding up between us.

The simple platinum band had an oval cut emerald far bigger than any I'd ever seen, with more than a dozen not-so-little diamonds set around it. It was by far the most beautiful ring I'd laid eyes on, and somehow I didn't think it was a coincidence that it matched my favourite crown.

"Edward, it's beautiful."

"It belonged to the princess of Monaco almost one hundred years ago. She spent sixty-three years happily married before both she and the King died in each other's arms. If we have even a fraction of their happiness or longevity, I will die the happiest man on earth. Only the most beautiful girl in the world should have a ring like this, and I'm sorry I'm only doing this now."

Caught in his eyes, I could do nothing but swim in the sincerity I found there. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as I stood, transfixed. Why was he saying all those things? We weren't really in love, he didn't even need to propose. So then the question was, why was he going to so much effort for something that wasn't even real?

This man was real. His words were completely real and I had no idea why I'd fought it for so long. Everything he had ever said to me was true and he felt everything so deeply that I couldn't help but feel ashamed at the way I'd treated him.

"Isabella?" His voice was reserved, a hint of panic creeping in. I'd just stood there, I hadn't given him an answer, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he thought I was going to say no. Was he forgetting I didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to tell him, that at that moment, I would have said yes either way. Clearly, there was something wrong with me.

I nodded slowly, unsure if I could even move under the intensity of his burning gaze. "Yes," I whispered quietly.

The most beautiful smile spread across his face as he slipped the ring onto my finger. "A perfect fit," he whispered back.

I giggled. I actually giggled as the perfect man in front of me stood up and brushed my tears away with his thumbs. I heard Alice sigh gently from behind us and blushed in embarrassment, but Edward only smiled kindly before leaning forward and pressing his lips to my flaming cheek.

"You look beautiful by the way," he said to me as he linked my arm through his. "Alice, I'd say you've done a great job, but Bella looks perfect without any help."

Right then. Right at that moment I knew I'd lost Alice for good. I could see it in her entire posture. She'd flipped sides to Team Edward, and I was suddenly sure I was all on my own.

I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp, but he closed it tightly to his side in response, looking at me quizzically. I went straight back to being stubborn and refused to look at him, trying not to react to the way he studied my face as I stared at a spot over Alice's shoulder.

Angela left in a hurry, needing to get to the kitchen, and Alice turned and left the room quietly.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked with that soothing voice of his. If I hadn't been so set against the whole arrangement, I was sure he'd have me putty in his hands with just one word.

"Let's just get this over with, shall we?" I replied shortly, noting the way he tensed beside me before his shoulders dropped in defeat – again. His proposal had been sweet, but the reality of the situation sank back in.

"You read the statement?" he asked as we made our way out into the hallway and towards the grand staircase.

I nodded; I knew it off by heart. Alec had delivered a package to me three days earlier, within it a written statement detailing the life I'd already had with Edward. It was all a lie, of course – from growing up together, being best friends, to silly little anecdotes about Edward carrying me back to the palace after I'd scraped my knee, and him falling in love with me just before he'd left for boarding school.

It was all mushy and romantic, and I'd fought the urge to heave when I finished reading it.

"Princess," Alec had said before leaving the room. "You need to have more faith that all this is real. You just need to remember this all happened." He nodded once at the paper in my hand before leaving me in my room.

Of course, once again, he was making no sense. I was beginning to think he was going a little senile in his old age. None of it was real; that was the problem. Someone had sat down and typed up a little story of Edward and Bella, and we were supposed to act it to the world and make them believe in it.

According to the booklet, I was unaware of his feelings for me beyond friendship until he was gone. When he'd left that September for school, I'd felt like I'd lost a part of myself. My best friend was gone. I had closed myself off and waited for any correspondence from my childhood friend.

He'd come back into my life when I was thirteen and we'd become close friends again until my feelings developed as I grew older. Edward proposed while we were on holiday together without even a ring to propose with. I had thought no one knew, but it turned out Edward had asked my father for permission months before for "a point in the future."

It was exciting and new and filled a part of my life I didn't know had been missing. Edward was the love of my life and I had never felt happier than to be his fiancée.

By the time we made it to the drawing room that had been prepared for the interview, I felt sick.

"I can't do this. I can't lie to save myself. He'll know I'm lying, Edward. We can't do this."

Edward pulled me around to face him, placing one of his hands gently on the side of my face, the other falling to capture mine securely in his grasp.

"Yes, you can, Isabella. I won't let you make a fool of yourself, and I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. He's just going to talk to us. You don't have to tell him anything you're not comfortable with. You don't have to talk at all, if you don't want to."

"I have to talk, Edward. I'm the heir to the throne of this kingdom. They'll all think it a little odd if I suddenly lose my power of speech."

"Well, you could just pretend you're so happy you have no words to express how madly in love with me you are," he joked in response. It wasn't until I laughed and his face fell that I realised I'd hurt him again.

"You'd find it that hard to even pretend?" he asked slowly, testing my reaction.

"I'm not that good an actor. I'm sorry it surprises you that I can't just fall in love on demand with someone I don't know."

"You do know me, Bella. Better than anyone."

My eyes widened and a small gasp left my lips at his reverent tone. He'd never called me Bella before, and the sheer desperation in his eyes made a strong impact on me for reasons I couldn't understand.

I was about to tell him he was crazy, that I'd barely spoken to him a handful of times, when our entrance to the parlour was announced to the interviewer.

I suddenly had no more time to ponder Edward's words, and had to find the strength to get through the next few hours.

Edward sighed loudly, raking his hand through his hair. I watched as the sadness etched across his face disappeared and he replaced it with a happy mask. He smiled faintly at me before taking my hand, watching for my reaction. He pulled it up and rested it in the crook of his elbow before walking us through the opened door.

With a deep breath I tried to do the same. The reputation of my family was riding on me pulling off the performance of the century, and in this task I simply could not fail.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**So, what do we think?**

**Is she finally starting to let Edward in? How long until Edward cracks? There's only so much hurt one guy can take!**

**As always, you can subscribe to my blog to recieve teasers and info on all upcoming chapters, or you can follow me on twitter at SarahhhhhhJane if you'd prefer :D**

**See you all next week!**

**Sarah xx**


	5. Our Story

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Sorry for bombarding your inboxes with update e-mails, Ffn wasn't playing nice!**

******I want to say that Edward will not be a doormat in this fic, and Bella will not be the way she is for very much longer. I pinky promise :D**

**Anyways, Bella annoying us, what's new in that? :P]**

**Thank you to every single one of you who reviewed! I replied to you all this chapter, apart from the guys who hadn't signed in! Some of you asked me things, but I can't get back to you unless you sign in :D**

**Onwards...the tale of Princess Isabella and her Knight in Shining Armour begins :D:D:D You may or may not swoon in this one :D**

**xx**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Our Story**

"_Her Royal Highness, Princess Isabella, and Lord Edward Masen."_

I heard the announcer somewhere in my head, but I was too busy trying to control my breathing, feeling like I was balancing on the edge of a full-blown panic attack. I was sure Edward could sense it because he kept shooting me worried glances but looking at him would only make things worse.

It had seemed so easy for him to get in the zone while we'd been standing in the hall, and I wondered why I couldn't do it too. He stopped suddenly, turning to face me and placing both of his strong hands on either side of my face.

My eyes shot to his as heat spread throughout my body from the point of contact. His eyes were green pools of worry and concern, and it was enough for me to get a grip and square my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, not wanting to garner any more attention than was necessary.

I nodded my head, and noticing the three men in the room behind his shoulder, smiled at him in what I hoped was a loving way. I placed my hand atop his on my cheek and squeezed his fingers.

"I'm okay," I answered quietly.

Edward straightened and resumed our previous position, only he took my hand in his instead.

"Gentlemen, you'll have to excuse my fiancée. She was feeling a little under the weather this morning," he said easily, but not moving from his spot, knowing he shouldn't walk ahead of me.

It was tradition for the Queen to walk behind her husband if he was King, but if the Queen was in fact head of the monarchy, then her husband, still just a Prince even in marriage, would walk behind her. Edward could also never sit down unless I did so first. It surprised me he already knew all that, but then I thought one of the advisors had probably run it all past him already.

"I am sorry to hear that, Your Highness. We can reschedule if you need to rest?" Marcus Hunt, the Royal Correspondent, bowed slightly as he spoke, keeping eye contact and smiling faintly.

The other two men, both with visible visitor badges, stood behind him. One held a sound recorder, the pole it hung from standing tall beside him, the other with headphones around his neck and standing nearest the camera. Both bowed respectably as I looked them over, and I nodded my head in response.

"No thank you, Marcus. We wouldn't want to keep everyone waiting any longer," I answered with a smile, thankful that I'd managed to say "we" and not "I". That, at least, was progress.

"Shall we sit?" I continued, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. Marcus nodded at my question – pleasantries weren't required – and Edward let go of my hand. He rested his other on my lower back as I walked past him. He waited for me to be seated on the sofa before sitting close beside me and retaking my hand in his.

Once I was settled, legs crossed at the ankle, Marcus sat opposite us on what looked like one of the dining room chairs, and the sound tech and camera man took their positions.

"Well, it's not a stretch to say that everyone is very intrigued by the two of you. There have been a few rumours as to how you met and how long you've been together, so let's start with the obvious. Edward, how did you meet?"

Edward looked across at me before answering, a sweet smile on his face and a look in his eye I'd never seen before. It was like he wasn't really there sitting beside me, but daydreaming instead. For a second I was worried something was wrong, until he spoke.

"I remember the day Isabella ran into my life…literally. I was here at the palace with my parents, and I vividly remember my mother drumming into me how I had to sit nice and be on my best behaviour because I was going to be sitting at a table with a King and Queen.

"I was only around seven at the time, so you'll have to forgive me when I say I was a little bored."

Everyone laughed, even the bodyguard standing at the door we'd come through, and I reminded myself that I'd have to at least smile, as there was a camera rolling.

"I heard her before I saw her – someone squealing in delight, a voice that was getting closer. I don't recall if anyone else noticed, but I was intrigued. Isabella came barrelling around the corner in this little blue dress and white shoes, laughing and squealing. It turned out she'd been playing hide and seek with one of her father's closest advisors, and she'd run away when he threatened to tickle her.

"I didn't even speak to her that day, but I don't think I'll ever forget her smile or the way she looked."

"Clearly. You can even remember what she was wearing!" Marcus exclaimed.

"I hope I don't embarrass myself by admitting that I think I was probably smitten. She was pretty, or at least that's what I thought at the time," Edward answered, squeezing my hand and smiling at me.

"At the time?" Marcus asked.

"Well, now, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Pretty doesn't do her justice." I blushed under his gaze and dropped my head as Marcus turned to look at me.

"Isabella?" Marcus probed, wanting to know what I had to say to that.

"I'm afraid I don't remember that day, Marcus. I guess I was too young," I admitted at least partially truthfully. I_ would_ have been too young, if it had ever happened.

"How long ago was that? If you don't mind my asking?" Marcus was looking at me, so Edward gave me the chance to answer.

"You don't mind me giving away your age, do you?" I asked Edward, causing everyone to chuckle. He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips and his eyes sparkling.

"Fifteen years ago," I answered, turning back to look at Marcus.

"Okay, so you met for the first time fifteen years ago, but Edward said he never spoke to you. So when did you become friends? Or aquaintances?"

Edward squeezed my hand again, and I took strength from him as I answered, remembering what I had to say like lines learned for a play.

"My sixth birthday party was held here at the palace. Edward's mother was a cake maker, and was friendly with my mother, having worked for the palace for a number of years. It just so happened that Edward had to come to work with her that day, and he found himself at a party, knowing no one and surrounded by girls younger than him. I found him sitting by the fountain on his own and took him some birthday cake. I said 'Have some, it's the most delicious cake,' and he told me his mother had made it. Of course, as a little girl I thought she was the coolest person ever, making cakes for a living, and I bombarded him with questions."

I laughed lightly, but something inside me made me feel off. It was like saying it aloud made me able to picture it, and the clarity with which I could see what I'd described in my head was unnerving. A small Edward, with messy hair and big green eyes, sitting alone by the fountain, flicking water in boredom.

I shook my head, telling myself it was no time to be imagining things.

"Every time my mother made a cake for the palace, I begged her to deliver it herself, and then I begged her to take me with her. I think she knew before I did that I just wanted the chance to see Bella again. The fact that she was a princess was lost on me. I just wanted to be friends with the brown-eyed girl who loved my mother's cakes," Edward finished for me.

"It sounds like a love story in the making. So, you spent more time together?"

I nodded but looked to Edward for him to answer, feeling more at ease with him doing most of the talking. His charismatic self was bound to win over anyone watching, and the obvious ease he felt was somewhat infectious.

"Most of the time I had to stay in the kitchen by my mother's side, or even when she ventured upstairs, but I soon learned that little Bella had a soft spot for the chef's homemade ice-cream. I thought my prayers had been answered when she arrived in the kitchen one morning, still in her pyjamas."

I furrowed my eyebrows at what Edward had just said. That hadn't been in the information booklet I'd been given, and I wondered how he'd managed to work it in. Did he really know I had a soft spot for Marie's homemade ice-cream?

"She asked me if I wanted some, and I guess the rest is history. She'd always know when my mother would be at the palace delivering cakes, or taking orders, or in meetings with advisors, and she came to realise that I would always be with her.

"It was my eleventh birthday the day she asked me to go exploring with her. Marie, the chef, had packed us a picnic. Bella took me by the hand and led me away to the lake on the palace grounds, and we spent the whole day running around and eating. I think it was the best birthday I'd had until that point."

I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, and I couldn't work out why. The room was suddenly too warm, and Edward's grip too tight. When I wiggled my fingers, he let go almost immediately and looked at me in alarm.

Something wasn't right. None of what he'd said was in the booklet, and he was managing to make it up far too convincingly for me to remain comfortable. I wasn't sure I could connect the Edward I'd seen so far to the one sitting beside me, spewing line after line of lies.

"So you know a great deal of the palace, then? Are you at home here?" Marcus asked next.

"I like to think of it as a second home. I spent so much time here that coming back was sort of bittersweet for me. The last happy memories I have of my mother are in the palace kitchen, and the last happy memories I have of Bella are from running through secret passageways and all the little hideouts we'd made around the grounds."

A wave of sadness hit me as I thought of what it must have been like to lose not one, but both parents. I hadn't spent enough time with Edward to know much about his birth parents, only what I'd read in our file.

"You mentioned your mother, Edward. I'm sorry you lost your parents so young. Can you describe what life was like after that point for you?"

"Drastically different," came Edward's reply. He reached for my hand almost on instinct and I let him have it, knowing somehow that he'd need some sort of support.

"My visits to the palace were over, that's for sure. I am fortunate that Lord Masen and his wife took me into their home in the manner that they did. There are too many kids in the world who don't have stable homes or families, and I thank God every day that I got a second chance. Of course it was hard settling in, and I missed my parents like crazy. It was just before my thirteenth birthday when they died, and all I remember thinking was 'Why did they leave me?'

Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, and I rapidly blinked them away.

"But then I'd feel guilty," he continued and everyone seemed to lean in, wondering what he was going to say next, including me. "My parents had died, but all I could think about was how I could never see Bella again. My visits to the palace were over; the days running through the grounds or just sitting talking to her would never happen again. Isabella and her mother were gracious enough to come to my parents' funeral, and I remember them both staying until the very end. Isabella just stood by my side, holding my hand. She didn't even say anything, but somehow she managed to make it seem like everything would be okay.

"That was the last time I saw her. Lord Masen enrolled me in a private school on the continent to better my education, and I never got to say goodbye to her before I left."

Two solitary tears rolled down my cheeks, at the story Edward had just told. But that's exactly what it was, a story. He spoke of my being there for him at the age of nine at a funeral I had never attended, and his anguish at never seeing me again as if we'd been best friends. None of it had happened, but why did it suddenly feel like it had? Like everything he said was true?

"Isabella? Can you remember how you felt when you realised you'd never see your best friend again?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and the panic that had risen with it. Edward had done this on purpose; he'd set me up to look ridiculous because none of what he'd said had been premeditated. I had no idea how to respond.

However, I suddenly remembered the dream I'd had, where I'd been screaming in pain and telling my mother that someone couldn't be taken away from me.

"I was scared. I was young, I thought I was being punished for something, and confused as to why I'd never see him again. I remember screaming at my mother, blaming her for his sudden absence, and having nightmares night after night that he was gone forever, died like his parents had."

I sat stunned, and I think Marcus was too. His eyes were glassy and large, and I was sure you could have heard a pin drop in the room.

"That was a long time ago, though," I added hastily. Edward was staring at me, but I couldn't bear to turn and face him. What must he have thought of me? No one had asked me to be so dramatic, and the two of us were the only ones who knew I'd just made up a lie. At least when they'd been written out I felt a little better; I was only repeating what someone else had imagined.

"Well, yes." Marcus cleared his throat. "Here you are, together again." I turned back to look at him and watched as he tried to compose himself after the sudden emotion in the room.

"When did you reconnect?"

"We met at a charity event our parents' helped organise around six years ago. Edward asked me to dance, and I almost collapsed at seeing him again. I couldn't believe I was looking straight at an older – dare I say it – more refined, version of my childhood friend," I answered, glad to be back on familiar territory. This, I knew, because this was in the booklet.

"I wanted to surprise her. I don't think I've ever felt so excited or nervous in my life. Thankfully, everything went smoothly." Edward chuckled, and I noticed Marcus smile.

"Yes, we had a charming evening; we spent most of it sitting rather unsociably at a table in the corner of the room, catching up on everything we'd missed." I laughed lightly, trying to come across as charming, and praying with everything I had that it was working.

"Six years ago." He nodded before continuing, "And how long have you been together?" Something about his question made me blush.

"I was only thirteen at the time, and forbidden to spend any time with boys," I answered on autopilot before remembering that it probably wasn't proper of me to say in an interview, but everyone just laughed.

"Edward was different, though. My parents knew how close we'd been, and I guess that made them a little more lenient. He spent some time here during our school holidays, when Lord and Lady Masen came to visit. We remained close friends for a long time. Our age difference had never seemed to matter to us, so I guess no one else saw anything wrong in it either."

"Edward asked me to be his girlfriend on my seventeenth birthday. He'd flown home from school for the weekend so he could be here. I didn't even have a party, just plans for a movie night with Rosalie, but he showed up on the doorstep with a DVD collection and a giant tub of popcorn." I smiled, wondering what life would have been like if all we'd said had been real.

"So you've been together for two years? You've managed to keep it very quiet. I hope you don't mind me saying, but I don't think anyone knew you even existed, Edward."

Edward laughed, and I found myself thinking_ I_ hadn't even known he'd existed.

"We were young – I guess we still are. Our families were comfortable with it – His Highness and the Queen had laid out some rules – and they seemed pleased to have me here. Some might say two years is a short time, but I love Bella, and I know for a fact that won't ever change. I've been in love with her since I was seven."

My heart ached inside my chest at his words, thinking them sweet and hating him for saying them at the same time. They weren't true, and it felt wrong to be using them at all when they meant so much to other people.

"How did you propose, Edward?"

"Bella and I arranged to meet over Easter. She was just about to start her exams and was taking a break from school. We went skiing in Switzerland – just the two of us, to have a little down time together – and I proposed."

When Marcus looked straight at me, I stuttered, "It was very romantic," in response, chastising myself for not being on the ball. Alice and I had run through this so many times, I could probably do it in my sleep. Well, when Edward stuck to the script, anyway.

"And you said yes?"

"Of course, there was no question," I answered, composed again.

"Did you have it planned? Or was it spur of the moment?"

"I hope it doesn't make me sound bad, but it was actually sort of spur of the moment. Bella and I were out walking in the snow one afternoon and came across this little board that had pictures of couples who'd been married on the mountain or had come back to celebrate anniversaries. One couple had even exchanged rings while skydiving.

"I found myself thinking that there was no other girl for me and that we wouldn't have another chance to be together, completely alone, for a very long time. I proposed to her that night over a private dinner in my chalet; I didn't even have a ring."

Marcus laughed joyously, obviously loving the story that made us seem so normal. "You said yes without a ring?" he asked me.

I laughed too. "There was no doubting his sincerity, and I'd never doubt his love for me. I didn't need a ring."

"But you have one now?" Marcus looked pointedly at my finger. "Tell us about it?"

"It belonged to Princess Margarite," Edward began.

"Of Monaco," I interrupted. Marcus smiled. I knew it was the first time both of us had spoken, and I'd basically just completed my fiancé's sentence.

"It's timeless and beautiful and stayed on her finger until the day she died. It also happens to be Bella's favourite colour."

Marcus laughed again, and I couldn't help but look at Edward in surprise. Did he actually know that or had it been in his booklet? Mine hadn't told me what his favourite was. Edward winked at me before turning back to face Marcus.

"I guess the next logical question would be to ask when the wedding is?"

I gulped, my mouth suddenly dried out.

The date had been set already of course, but to say it – for the entire world to make note of when the interview was aired – would make it official. There would be no going back and no changing it.

"It's June twentieth. Bella surprised me by picking my birthday."

I couldn't help gasping. Yes, I'd chosen the date, but I'd had no idea it was his birthday. Had I? I remember thinking it had stuck in my head for some reason, but I also knew for a fact I hadn't learned Edward's birthday in the time since we'd met.

Marcus looked taken aback, and Edward cleared his throat. The tension in the room between us was palpable, and I had no idea how to save us from what I'd just done.

"I'm sorry, I just thought of the perfect present."

Everyone laughed in delight and I smiled sweetly, hiding the way my entire body trembled and my heart thumped uncomfortably in my chest. How I'd thought of that I'd never know, but even Edward looked impressed; it seemed we were both master liars.

"Less than two months…I don't know about you, but I'm sure the run-up to it will be exciting for everyone at home, as well as everyone in the palace."

"We hope it's a special day for everyone," I answered. "The public will want the chance to be involved, and we both hope that they'll come out to support us like they did my father."

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. It will be the highlight of the country's year, if not the decade," Marcus answered me. "This is obviously a big thing, I mean marriage is big for anyone at the best of times, but are you excited? A little bit terrified?"

"Terrified," I answered honestly at the same time Edward said, "Excited."

Everyone laughed again.

"It will be an exciting day for all involved, and I guess it is a huge deal to be entering into at such a young age, but we're excited to be spending the rest of our lives together, really," Edward answered, his eyes on the side of my face. All I could do was nod.

"Edward, I guess you've had a long time to come to terms with Isabella's way of life. How are you preparing yourself for your new life in the palace?"

"I think all I can do is my best. My role won't be any different – supporting Bella and doing all I can for her – it's just going to be public now. I guess I don't have long to learn the ropes before the wedding, but I hope to learn all that I can as quickly as I can."

"And are you looking forward to what you might be able to do? Our Royalty does its utmost to help in any way they can. Do you have plans to do the same?"

"Of course. When anyone is in a position to help, they do, and that won't change for me. I'm already patron of a few charities close to home, and I look forward to being able to do more for more people," he answered with a smile.

"He'll do very well," I added surprisingly. "He has a big heart. I know he'll do everything he can." Edward was staring at me, and I got caught in his gaze, unable to look away as he searched for the truth in what I'd just said. When he found that I wasn't just lying, he seemed to relax and turned back to Marcus with a smile, bringing my hand up onto his thigh and resting it there.

"Well, you both look very happy and very relaxed. Thank you for talking to us. We wish you all the best, and good luck with everything."

Marcus smiled, and the cameraman waved his hand to let us know that filming had finished. Marcus stood when I did, and Edward once again rested his hand on my lower back.

"It was lovely seeing you again, Marcus. Thank you for doing this on such short notice."

If I wasn't mistaken, Marcus blushed and bowed his head slightly.

"It was a privilege, Your Highness. Thank you for allowing us in."

"Of course." I smiled and excused us both.

The photo session took place in the next room where the royal photographer was already waiting for us. I was barely present as he asked us to stand a certain way, to look in a certain direction, to touch in certain places. It took him just under an hour to get a collection of photos he deemed "perfect" to be publicised and kept for our engagement party. After that, I excused us both again and had to refrain from fleeing the room as fast as I could.

We walked in silence all the way to the library before I pulled a surprised Edward inside and locked the door behind us. I checked that the room was empty before I turned on him, my anger bubbling on the inside.

"_What the hell was that?"_ I screamed. His eyebrows rose and his mouth dropped open, but he didn't offer an explanation.

"What the hell was that, Edward? Did you deliberately set out to make me look like a fool? Was it some sort of joke to try to set me up?"

"Isabella, I don't know what you're talking about," Edward replied, a confused look on his face that made me wonder if he was telling the truth.

"My birthday party? The cake? The exploring…and picnics…and me being at your parents' funeral? None of that was decided on! None of it! What would you have done if I hadn't managed to answer Marcus' question, huh? I had to lie about how I felt; it's a damn good job I thought of something to say!"

I knew my voice was far too loud, that anyone passing the door would be able to hear me perfectly, but I felt angry and mortified.

"You nearly humiliated me in there, Edward. I can't believe you said all those things."

I sank down into the chair and noticed Edward move from the corner of my eye. "Don't. I don't want to hear it. Just leave."

He faltered in his walk toward me and hovered in the middle of the room. "Please..." I whispered, knowing I was out of line, knowing it had gone too far, knowing I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore.

Tears tracked down my face as I curled into the leather armchair, all the hurt and anger spilling out, all the things I'd said and done to Edward over the weeks floating through my head. I was ruining what I knew, deep down, could be _so_ good. I just didn't know how to stop.

I didn't know how to stop lashing out at him, because being hurtful was easier than letting myself get trapped. I was too wrapped up in my anger that I hadn't noticed how far I'd already fallen.

I sobbed it all out, the pain over my parents' betrayal, the loneliness I'd been feeling since I'd stopped talking to almost everyone. The confusion over what I was really feeling about Edward, the pain I'd felt when he'd spoken of his parents' death and the peculiar feeling I'd been experiencing since he'd started talking.

A lonely boy sitting at the fountain.

The magical cakes that were always in the kitchen.

A woman's face I imagined as Edward's mother's suddenly floated in front of my eyes, her smile warm and kind. A young Edward laughing as I tripped over a branch on the way into our secret hiding place down by the lake.

Whispering as we explored the servants' passages.

The sheer pain when I was told he was never coming back. The anger at having my best friend ripped from me, the only person who'd ever understood me. The only person I'd ever loved.

He'd filled my head with fantasy stories, and as I sat there crying, I had no idea how to distinguish them from the real memories of my childhood. A childhood I was suddenly realising I could barely remember.

When his hand landed on my shoulder, and the other brushed the hair from my face, my breath caught violently in my throat. I thought he'd left, but he'd ignored me completely.

I wasn't sure if that made me happy or disappointed.

"With all due respect,_ Princess_, this has gone on long enough." The emphasis on my title made me cringe. Having him think of me as a spoiled little Princess was painful, but I only had myself to blame - that was exactly how I'd been acting.

His anger made my shame flare up. "I'm sorry," I hiccupped, pathetic even in my apology.

"Please don't cry," he whispered, his perfect face lowering as he kneeled to the floor, bringing him eye level with me.

"I-" I what? I needed to apologise for so much. I needed to explain how I felt, but with his hand on my face and his eyes boring into mine, I couldn't find the adequate words.

"We need to talk, Bella," he sighed, his arm falling to his side and his eyes following suit.

Suddenly, I wasn't sure what to expect.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Better? Yes, I put the start of chalter 6 on the end of this one. It was the only way to keep most of you with faith in me and this fic before you gave up on me. I hope y'all don't hate me...I got such wonderful reviews for the last chapter but it seems the majority of you have turned on me :(**

**Okay, NOW you can berate me for what I've done to the poor boy and how much you want to be in B's shoes...GO... :D**

**Remember to follow me on twitter - at SarahhhhhJane - or subscribe to my blog - www . liveindakota . blogspot . com - for teasers and goss :D**

**Sarah xx**


	6. Fears and Fittings

**Author's Chapter Notes**

**Hey all! **

**Thank you to everyone who is reading reviewing and favouriting :D You guys rock :)**

**Especially to all those who are reviewing as "guests" I cant reply to your kind words, but please know I appreciate every single one of them :D I also need to apologise to those who reviewed and they disappeared when fanfiction decided to fail. I know _jansails _and_ pumpkinmykitty _were two of them, but I can't recall the rest. I hope you two in particular will have your faith restored in me and my characters in the near future :D**

**This chapter was completely rewritten to give what most of you wanted earlier than I'd planned. I didn't like you all hating on Edward, Bella and me for the way things were going, so I've brought this conversation forward by at least three chapters. However, you won't get all you want, I'm keeping some control on the things I wanted to do, and the way my own fic would go :D:D**

**In saying that, I hope y'all enjoy this and think a little better of me, Edward and Bella once you've read it :D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Fears and Fittings**

_Previously:_

_He faltered in his walk toward me and hovered in the middle of the room. "Please..." I whispered, knowing I was out of line, knowing it had gone too far, knowing I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore._

_Tears tracked down my face as I curled into the leather armchair, all the hurt and anger spilling out, all the things I'd said and done to Edward over the weeks floating through my head. I was ruining what deep down I knew could be _so _good. I just didn't know how to stop._

_I didn't know how to stop lashing out at him, because being hurtful was easier than letting myself get trapped. I'd been too wrapped up in my anger that I hadn't noticed how far I'd already fallen._

_I sobbed it all out, the pain over my parents' betrayal, the loneliness I'd been feeling since I'd stopped talking to almost everyone. The confusion over what I was really feeling about Edward, the pain I'd felt when he spoke of his parents' death and the peculiar feeling I'd been experiencing since he'd started talking._

_A lonely boy sitting at the fountain._

_The magical cakes that were always in the kitchen._

_A woman's face I imagined as Edward's mother's suddenly floated in front of my eyes, her smile warm and kind. A young Edward laughing as I tripped over a branch on the way into our secret hiding place down by the lake._

_Whispering as we explored the servants' passages._

_The sheer pain when I was told he was never coming back; the anger at having my best friend ripped from me, the only person who'd ever understood me. The only person I'd ever loved._

_He'd filled my head with fantasy stories, and as I sat there crying, I had no idea how to distinguish them from the real memories of my childhood. A childhood, I was suddenly realising, I could barely remember._

_When his hand landed on my shoulder, and the other brushed the hair from my face, my breath caught violently in my throat. I thought he'd left, but he'd ignored me completely._

_I wasn't sure if that made me happy or disappointed._

_"With all due respect,__ Princess__, this has gone on long enough." The emphasis on my title made me cringe. Having him think of me as a spoiled little Princess was painful, but I only had myself to blame - that was exactly how I'd been acting._

_His anger made my shame flare up. "I'm sorry," I hiccupped, pathetic even in my apology._

_"Please don't cry," he whispered then, his perfect face lowering as he kneeled on the floor, bringing him eye level with me. It seemed his anger had fled as quickly as it had come._

_"I-" I what? I needed to apologise for so much. I needed to explain how I felt, but with his hand on my face and his eyes boring into mine, I couldn't find the adequate words._

_"We need to talk, Bella," he sighed, his arm falling to his side and his eyes following suit._

_Suddenly, I wasn't sure what to expect._

I stared at him, not sure what, or even if, I was supposed to say something.

He raised his eyes, but they wouldn't meet mine, and I found myself desperate to look into the deep green depths. I didn't know him very well, but I already knew that any time I looked into his eyes, I'd see the truth and know where I stood – he didn't even need to say anything.

Suddenly, insecurities I didn't even know I'd been harbouring surfaced in me, making it harder to breathe.

"You're leaving…" I whispered. The pain those simple words caused me nearly knocked the wind out of me as I sat up straighter and brought myself closer to him. I knew, right then, that despite everything I'd put him through, and the fact that it would be my fault if he did, I didn't want him to go.

His head snapped up, shock and confusion written across his face, but a tiny bit of acceptance lingering in his eyes. It was like I had just made up his mind for him. I felt foolish, he hadn't been thinking of that at all, but I'd just put the idea in his head.

"I've been trying _so_ hard, Bella. You don't even seem to care that we're in this _together_…" He shook his head in frustration. Standing up, the hand that I'd been about to lay on his fell back to my lap and he stared down at it in silence.

"I-I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel. It's like everyone around me is expecting something and I don't know if I'm feeling it because they want me to or because I actually, truly do. I feel so angry that I was lied to, misled, when you weren't.

"Five years is a long time, Edward. It might not seem like it, and I get that this was forced on you, too, I do, but you've had five years. I haven't even had five weeks…"

Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes and I brushed them away angrily.

"Why didn't you come and visit? Why have we never met before now? Why was I left in the dark for those five years while you got used to the idea of marrying into the Royal Family? I don't get it!" I shouted. I paused long enough for my thoughts to catch up with me.

"I could have had those five years. No,_ we_ could have had those five years. We'd be so close by now, so ready to get married and so happy to be doing it, but you took that from me. That's why I'm so angry, that's why I can't let myself get close to you. Don't you get that?" I whispered, my fight leaving me as I wrapped my arms around my middle.

I'd never really given it much thought – or I thought I hadn't. But as the words tumbled out of my mouth it seemed I knew exactly what was hurting the most. I didn't want to think of Edward as one of the conspirators towards me. I wanted him to be on my side, but he wasn't.

He stooped down again, his finger hooking under my chin to bring my eyes up to meet his.

"Your parents thought it would be best for you to finish your studies without any distractions. You've spent the last five years learning how to rule an empire, and to speak three different languages. I'm sorry, Bella. I wanted to, God did I want to, but I was terrified."

I soaked up his fear, letting it wash over me as the truth of his words sunk in. Not only had I gone to school in a different country, but I had spent more time than ever learning the ways of my future empire and responsibilities. It just seemed like something I had to do at the time, but for the first time I began to wonder why it was so important I do it so young.

I shook those thoughts away before they overtook me because he'd said something much more important. "What were you scared of?" I asked quietly, not sure if I wanted to know the answer. He seemed so much stronger, so much more composed than I was. If there was something that terrified him, then I was intimidated to think what it would do to me.

"I was terrified you wouldn't want me. Five years_ is_ a long time, Isabella. It's a long time for you to decide you didn't or wouldn't marry me, long enough to maybe find a way out of it if there was one, long enough to talk your parents out of it. I thought you'd hate me, and at eighteen, that thought terrified me more than anything."

The trembling in his hand and the anguish in his eyes affected me more than I wanted it to. I scooted forward on the chair, our bodies closer than ever as I raised both hands to each side of his face and cradled it gently.

The feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my hands was a new experience, and I found myself wanting to revel in it. Our gazes were locked, our breath mixing in the space between us, and I realised we'd never been that close before – physically or emotionally.

"It wasn't my choice to leave it this late," he whispered softly, brokenly. "I'm not shirking the blame, I know I need to take responsibility for the way you're feeling, but I wouldn't have sprung this on you so late if I'd had a choice. We'd be getting married in a year, four if that's what it took for you to get to know me, to trust me."

I shook my head. He was apologising and it was wrong. I should have been the one saying sorry to him.

"How I'm feeling is not your fault, Edward. I've never behaved this badly, and I shouldn't blame anyone but myself. This wedding is happening – in less than two months – I need to come to terms with that."

His hand covered mine on his cheek and squeezed my fingers gently. "I need to tell you something. I shouldn't have even waited this long, but I couldn't find the right time, or the courage. But we can't get any closer to this wedding without telling you the truth."

I pulled my hands away from his face and reluctantly put space between us. I could no longer breathe in his scent, or bask in his slightly minty breath as it washed gently over my face. My heart was pounding and I wasn't sure if it was fear of what he was about to say, or because that was simply what close proximity to him did to me.

"God, I don't even know where to start…" He raked his hand through his hair roughly and I fought the way I wanted to grab his hands and stop him. I didn't want any harm coming to his hair. It was one of my favourite parts of him. I shook my head; it was not the time for such thoughts.

"From the beginning is usually where I like to start," I answered him, smiling softly to cover my building anxiety.

"The beginning…right…yeah…"

I waited, and waited some more. The fact that he was finding it so difficult to even speak scared me. What was it going to be? All possible scenarios were running through my head, from him being gay and pretending to be in love with me, to him having some secret love-child somewhere.

"I –" His voice brought me out of my ridiculous thoughts and I focused back on him, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them to me.

"I wrote that story…"

Of all the things I was expecting, that had not been one of them. My brows furrowed in confusion as I tried to get my mind to catch up, and he continued in my silence.

"The story we just told Marcus, the booklet you got. I wrote it…that's why I knew more than you, why I was able to say those things…"

It made sense the more I thought about it. If he'd made it all up, he'd be able to make up more. Maybe what he'd surprised me with had been in the original but cut out of the one I'd ultimately received.

"Bella, it wasn't a lie, it –"

The loud ringing of the inner palace phone jolted us both back into the present. It was background noise however, as I thought over what Edward had just told me. I was pretty sure he'd just said it wasn't a lie. How could it not be a lie? Images of the scene he'd set swam in front of my eyes and I had to screw them shut to stop them.

The phone went quiet before ringing again. Someone obviously knew we were in the library, otherwise that particular extension wouldn't have been ringing at all.

Slowly, I stood from the chair and made my way over to the wall, pressing the green button and listening as my mother's voice floated out to me.

"Bella, it's your mother. I'm sorry to interrupt you two, but the dress fitters are here and you're late…"

It took a few seconds for her words to sink in before I realised what she was saying. I'd completely forgotten about my first dress fitting, too wrapped up in nerves for my interview and then shock as Edward and I actually hashed out our differences.

I heard him sigh from behind me and realised he wouldn't be happy about the interruption. Whatever he'd been about to tell me had taken a lot out of him to even say, and it was clearly important.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hung up and slowly turned back to Edward, noting that he'd moved and was staring out of the windows across the grounds.

"_It wasn't a lie."_

"_I wrote that story…"_

"Edward," I said quietly, my voice shaking. I was sure he heard the tremble in it, because he turned quicker than I would have thought.

"Go, it's important," he replied, his voice a dull monotone.

I shook my head, about to argue that it wasn't, that what he was saying was more important, but he crossed the room and took my head in his hands.

"It is, Bella. It's your wedding day, your _dress."_

He'd misunderstood me, the flare of pain he felt was evident in his eyes. I was done hurting him, I decided. No more pettiness or selfishness, we were in this together.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant this is _more_ important…"

His sigh of relief and the sweet smile that spread across his face, made my decision worth it. Why had I fought him for so long when the mere sight of a smile from him made my stomach do summersaults and my heart to take off in a sprint?

His fingers twitched where they lay near to my pulse point and I was sure he'd picked up on its change in tempo. It only hastened in speed when he leaned down and pressed his lips against my forehead. My breath got caught in my throat and I blushed at the noise.

"Our engagement party is in two weeks. I'll be back then, we can talk more."

My eyes snapped to his and I started shaking my head again, more insistently this time.

"No. I don't want you to leave, please don't leave…"

He was going, despite my apology and finally letting him in, showing him my fears, he was still leaving.

"You need this time to yourself, Bella. You need to think about everything. My being here isn't making things any easier for you. It's only two weeks…"

"It is…I mean it will…you being here, I mean…it might help…now…" I blushed again and Edward chuckled at my pathetic attempt to tell him how I felt about him had changed. I had no idea if he understood what I was getting at or not.

"I promise I'll be back in two weeks. You can't get rid of me that easily, but you need to promise me something…"

I nodded, my lip caught between my teeth. His thumb moved and pulled my bottom lip free. My heart stuttered in its rhythm as his eyes stayed glued to my lips. For the very first time I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to know what it felt like, what he felt and tasted like. Instead, he broke his gaze and looked back into my eyes.

"Promise me you'll think about it – us, me, _everything_. You need to think about what I just told you, and I need you to remember, Bella."

I furrowed my brow. He'd only said a few lines; I was hardly going to forget that.

"Promise me," he said more demandingly.

"I promise," I whispered in response.

"Good. Now go, neither of us wants you looking bad on the big day."

I laughed and he smiled in response, his hands still firmly in place. I should have been moving, going out the door and down the corridor, but his gaze, his smile and his touch kept me rooted in place.

The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want him to go.

"Do you really have to go? You could stay but just leave me alone for two weeks if that's what you really want…" I was pretty sure I was pouting, but I couldn't bring myself to care when it centred Edward's gaze on my lips again.

"This isn't what I want, Bella. I'm doing this for you…" he stressed, his eyes fixed on my mouth.

I bit down harder on my lip and flushed all over when he groaned quietly. The sound seemed to jar him out of his thoughts and he looked back up at me sheepishly.

"You need to go before they send out a palace style search party." I laughed at the amusement glinting in his eyes.

"Well, you'll need to let me go then," I answered him with a giggle.

His hands sprang away from my face like I'd burned him and I smiled even wider. He didn't even seem to know he'd been holding on to me.

"I'll be going then," I said, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder but not moving. He nodded with a smile, his eyes flitting between the door over my shoulder and me.

"I'll see you in two weeks." His reminder had the smile slipping from my face and I nodded sadly. It was the push I needed to leave, and with one last lingering look of his face, I turned and left the library behind.

It wasn't until I was walking down the carpeted corridor that I realised I still had my heels on. The whole day's activities came flooding back to me and I suddenly felt exhausted. Lies, truths, fears and growing feelings had taken their toll on me.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I thought over the moods I had once again swung between over the course of the day. From screaming and crying, to hopeful, to confused, all the way through to the lust that had surprised me when Edward was standing so close.

I'd never felt it so potently before, and I realised that he had more control over me than even I'd wanted to admit to myself. The silly smile that settled on my face when I thought about his laugh and his reluctance to let me go had me doing a double take at a mirror I passed in the hall. I looked ridiculous, but for the first time in weeks I felt so much better.

I didn't want Edward to leave, but there was nothing I could say to make him stay.

As I stepped into the drawing room and apologised for being late, I realised I'd actually miss him.

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**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**What do we think?**

**Remember you can follow me on twitter - at SarahhhhhhJane - or subscribe to my blog - www . liveindakota . blogspot . com - for teasers and goss on all my fics :D**

**See you all next week! xx**


	7. The Engagement Party

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**This chapter is late, and I apologise! Been crazy busy with work and I had an eventful weekend! Not to mention ffn being a complete fail on me for the last 48 hours! :/**

**Unfortunately, I haven't been able to reply to anyone's reviews, but be assured I read and treasured them all! I figured you'd all appreciate a chapter update rather than a reply and a longer wait :D**

**Anyways, I'll get back on top of replying next week, and I hope you enjoyed the teaser I managed to get out to you :D**

**Onwards.**

**I disclaim.**

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**7 – The Engagement Party**

Our engagement interview was aired that night on the six o'clock news. The reporters remarked on how happy and relaxed we looked together, how naturally we seemed to handle the questions, the sadness surrounding our story, and the fairytale ending we seemed to have secured.

The engagement was everywhere. Only one official photo had been released, a shot of the two of us standing arm in arm, my engagement ring in full view and smiles on both of our faces.

My dress and hair were critiqued in every magazine and it didn't take long for copies to hit the shelves for the "everyday" woman to purchase.

I tried to ignore everything as much as I could. Instead, I found myself in a constant bubble of thought. Thoughts that only centred on one thing: Edward. I couldn't get him out of my head. Every time I turned a corner in the palace I thought saw him. Every time I heard someone speaking with a similar tone of voice, my heart went into overdrive.

When he told me he was leaving, I knew I'd miss him, but I wasn't aware of just how much.

My mother had knocked on the door to my suite the night he left to tell me his car had just pulled out of the garage. She seemed surprised that he had packed a few bags into the boot, but I reassured her he was coming back. Or at least, I thought I was reassuring her. It turned out I was trying to assure myself.

"Honey, that boy is mad about you. Nothing would be able to keep him away." She held me close, and for the first time in weeks, I let someone else comfort me.

"But why? I don't get it, I've been so mean to him…" I shuddered at the thought, and my mother's arms tightened around me as she rocked me back and forth on the sofa.

"Have you spoken to him? Really spoken to him?" she prodded.

I nodded my head and pulled back, letting her take my hands in hers and gazing upon her soft features.

"He told me he'd wait for as long as it took for me to trust him before we got married, but it seemed like he wanted to say something else." I knew in my heart what it was; he wanted me to love him before we got married, but saying it aloud was a terrifying thought.

"He said he wrote the story we told the press and that it wasn't a lie…I don't understand what he was talking about. I was too busy trying to think up ways to make him stay…but he left, mother. He's gone…"

"But he _is_ coming back…Isabella, these last few weeks have been hard on him, too. He has no family here, no friends. I know he hoped you two would become close, but you haven't given him the chance to get to know you…he just needs a couple of weeks to find his bearings and probably say goodbye to his old life."

I could only stare at the wall, soaking in all the new information. She was right. He'd been all alone in the palace for weeks, with no one but the staff to converse with. I didn't know the first thing about how he'd filled his days around meetings and plans for our wedding. I had Alice and even Rosalie. Who did he have to lean on after a particularly hard day? I had to remind myself that I would have been the reason it was so hard for him in the first place.

"Here," she continued. "He left this with Sue. Talk to him, Isabella. It's the only way you two can move forward…" With that, she'd kissed me on the forehead and retreated silently from my suite. I sat staring at the piece of paper in my hand, the perfectly lined-up numbers popping from the pale sheaf up at me.

I wanted to hear his voice even then, mere hours after I'd last spoken to him, but instead, I pinned it up on the back of my wardrobe door and left it there, in the darkness, unable to bring myself to call him.

The next day Alec informed me that some of the palace staff was moving Edward's things into the suite next to mine. The maids were in and out all day, making the beds, dusting and cleaning, before a few young men moved in boxes of Edward's things from the opposite wing of the palace.

I watched quietly from my open door as they finished their task quickly, and I realised it was because Edward had barely any personal possessions with him. I'd only counted four boxes, small in size, being carried into the suite. For some reason, that thought made me sad.

The two weeks I thought would be slow and hard, flew by in a flash. Our engagement party was looming. So not only did I have to arrange our wedding, but I was bombarded with details pertaining to a party I wasn't sure I could pull off. Every foreign dignitary and head of state had been invited and over seventy-five percent of them planned to attend.

It was the middle of the second week, while I sat staring at my tub of ice-cream in the kitchen, that the loneliness I'd been trying to ignore swept over me. Alice had been spending more and more time at the stables with Jasper, and while I was happy to listen to her recount details of their days together, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Not of her, but of the fact that it was so easy for her. Edward and I could have been the same as them, if the little issue of our impending marriage wasn't hanging over our heads.

Sue sat down quietly beside me, a glass of water in hand during her break, asking me if I was okay.

"Princess?" she asked again when I didn't answer her.

"I feel so tired, Sue. So out of my depth. I'm not responsible enough, or old enough to know what I'm doing with all this."

"You have a whole staff behind you, Princess. All you need to do is ask, and you'll have all the help you can imagine."

I smiled at her gratefully, already knowing most of the palace workers would be thrilled to be involved in either event.

"I wish Edward were here. I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone…"

"He isn't far away, Princess. I have the number of his home if you'd like…"

"I wouldn't want to be confronted by Lord or Lady Masen. I'm sure they know exactly how I've been treating their son, and I don't think I could handle the shame."

"Edward isn't with his parents, Princess. I meant he's at _home._ The house he grew up in. Lord Masen had it kept in Edward's name after his parent's died so he'd always have a piece of them. Didn't he tell you he'd be there?"

I shook my head. "No, we haven't really spoken about anything." Sue looked troubled at my answer, and I asked her what was on her mind, knowing she wasn't permitted to speak freely unless asked to.

"It's strange is all. This isn't at all how we all thought it'd be. I'm sorry, Princess. That was out of turn."

"Don't apologise, Sue. I know how you all talk. I've spent enough time down here by now."

"That you have, Princess. I remember the days you used to run around this palace, neither of you with a care in the world."

I was about to remind her that I was too old to be running around the palace when Rosalie was of age to do the same, but I didn't get the chance when the servants bell rang and garnered her attention.

"Excuse me, Princess."

I nodded and watched her leave, wondering what had made her think Rosalie and I had ever explored together. She'd been there at the time; she should have known that wasn't right.

"Bella, are you even listening to me?" Alice's voice broke through to me, and I apologised for zoning out on her.

Once again she had me sitting in front of a mirror as she worked on my hair and make-up. It had been two weeks since the news of our engagement, and the night had come for the ball in the palace to commemorate it.

Edward had only arrived back earlier that morning. Not that I'd seen him, but I'd heard him walking around and the sound of doors opening and closing. It was strange having him so close and hearing him go about his day when I'd been so used to having the entire floor to myself for so many years.

I'd lost count of the amount of times I'd had to stop myself from knocking on his door. I wanted to see him, touch him and hear his voice. I needed the proof that he'd come back. I wanted to assure him that we were in this together, that I knew that now and that I'd respect him as my equal as he had done from the beginning.

Every time I'd made it out of my door, a fear seized my heart and I'd retreated back in. Some naïve, niggling thought kept annoying me, that maybe he'd changed his mind, that there was a reason he hadn't come to see me either.

Suddenly, I was terrified of what he might say.

"You haven't even had a chance to talk to Edward before tonight, how on earth are you going to pull this off?"

I gasped. Right then, I remembered the number on the back of my wardrobe door, stuck with a little red board pin underneath the picture of Alice and me at graduation. I'd forgotten all about it, with guest lists and cake choices and flowers and dresses floating around my head for the last ten days completely eclipsing its existence.

"What, what is it?" she asked, wondering what was wrong. I stood quickly, padding to my wardrobe and pulling his mobile number off the back of the door. I handed it to her quickly, panic seizing me by the throat. What must he think?

"Bella, please call me if you have any questions. Yours, Edward," she read aloud. Her eyes snapped to mine, a small smile playing at her lips.

"So you have spoken to him? You kept that quiet. Is there something you want to tell me, Bella?"

I shook my head and her smile slipped. "I couldn't, Alice. I've had that for two weeks and I haven't spoken to him once! What must he think?" I asked, my voice rising with each sentence.

"Bella, calm down. I'm sure he'll understand. You just have to explain how you feel. Come, I'll finish your make-up and you can go and fetch him."

She sat me down, helped me relax, and carried on with her finishing touches. I groaned as her original question came back to me. Her questioning glance via the mirror told me I had to tell her what was going on in my head.

Alice was right. We had to act like the couple we were supposed to be in front of many prying eyes. We'd have to stop and talk to different people, discuss politics and weather with foreign ministers and fine wine and holiday destinations with family members. We'd have to dance together, hold hands and look affectionate.

"I don't even know if he can dance, Alice!"

She laughed before she saw my look of distress in the mirror. "He was brought up by Lord and Lady Masen, privately educated, and has travelled the world. Of course he can dance, Bella."

That calmed me. Of course he did. If he knew how to ride, he knew how to dance.

I stood up, admiring my reflection in the mirror. My gown was floor length, midnight blue again, cinched at my waist with a few understated diamonds and gathered on the opposite shoulder with the same detail. The one shoulder made my arms look slender and longer, and my skin glowed with the tan I'd managed to obtain from my days in the gardens.

I'd taken to losing myself from all the palace staff in Edward's absence, taking a book and spending hours forgetting the details and planning that my life had turned into. I'd wanted to spend a little more time with my parents, but they had both been so busy I'd barely had a chance. My mother was rushed off her feet with my father suffering from a bout of summer flu, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen them together.

I decided as I looked at myself in the mirror that I'd make the conscious effort to spend time with them both during the party. Not just because the world would be watching, but because I needed to take responsibility for the strain I'd been putting on my family and start to mend bridges with my parents before my wedding.

It was one thing to marry someone I didn't want to – even though that in itself was changing by the hour – but I didn't want to go through my wedding day without being able to share it with my own mother. Even if I did still hold some resentment towards them for the lies they'd told me for years on end.

"You look beautiful," Alice whispered, gathering my hair in her hands and winding it up into an elegant style at the back of my head. She made it look so effortless that I couldn't help but envy her. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to make myself look as good as she did.

I turned to face her, taking in her black dress. The cut-out shoulders and open back made it anything but boring and plain. Her hair had been left wavy, and was curling softly around her ears, and I was careful not to ruin my own when I gathered her into a hug.

"Thank you," I answered, both of us knowing I was thanking her for much more than I would ever be able to say.

Edward and I had to arrive to the party together, so with an anxious feeling in my chest, I let Alice leave without me and headed the short distance to his door. I stood staring at the dark wood for far longer than was necessary, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and trembling hands.

Shaking my head, I raised my hand and knocked lightly on his door, half praying that he wouldn't hear me. There was no sound from within the room and I thought my prayer had been answered, that maybe he was already down there and I wouldn't have to suffer an awkward conversation with him.

However, just as I was about to turn and head downstairs to look for him, the lock clicked from the other side and the door swung open. I stalled in my tracks, expecting Edward's form to appear, instead, all I could see was his back as he walked back into the room.

He moved slowly and his shoulders were hunched as he stopped in front of the mirror. Something was wrong. I might not have known him very well, but I could definitely tell he wasn't his usual casually, laidback self.

I wasn't sure what to do, but I decided he wouldn't have opened the door for me if he didn't want me to go in, so with small steps I made my way into the large room, noting how it was the mirror image of my own.

The living room was designed with the same tones, although it had a little more brown in it to make it feel more masculine. Through the open double doors, I could see his bed wasn't made, and the duvet set was a deep blue colour instead of the white and green I had in my own.

Everything else was stark, impersonal, and a little cold. It struck me that Edward hadn't bothered trying to make this suite homely in the slightest, and it made me slightly sad – the same feeling I'd had when I'd watched his solitary four boxes make their way in.

I turned back to him, catching his eye in the mirror and realising he had been watching me. He looked tired and sad, and I had to fight the urge I had to go straight over to him and demand what was wrong.

"We, uh, should probably head down soon," I stuttered instead.

He just nodded, his eyes leaving mine, lending themselves to the task of staring at himself as if he wasn't happy with what he saw.

I let my own eyes peruse him, the way his slate grey suit fit him perfectly across the shoulders, hugged his arms and settled on top of dark blue cuffs that were still undone. I wondered if it was complete coincidence that his shirt was the exact colour of my dress.

The dark colour made the suit – and the pale skin of his cleanly shaven neck and face – stand out. His collar was up and a light blue silk tie hung undone around it as Edward continued to stand there, brow furrowed in either frustration or concentration.

"May I?" I found myself asking, surprising us both as I pointed to his tie. It felt like the silence stretched on forever as he stared at me, and my face flamed in embarrassment.

Of course he didn't want me to do his tie. Why would he?

"I, uh, used to always do my dad's…it doesn't matter, I can leave if you want?" I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder and was about to leave when he answered me.

"No." When I let my eyes find his, he continued. "I don't want you to leave." His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and I was momentarily distracted by it.

I suddenly didn't know what to do. I'd told him I'd do his tie for him, but I was stuck, as there was no way I wanted to get any closer. I'd never been that close to him.

Walking through the gardens side-by-side was hard enough without me wanting to unexplainably reach for his hand. Sitting across from him at a table and have his leg brush mine sent me into thoughts I shouldn't be entertaining. I did not want to stand in his space and be close enough that my whole body could line up with his.

Somehow I made my feet move, and I heard my dress slide along the carpet as I crossed over to him.

His hands were hanging limply by his sides, and I had to take a deep breath before I was close enough for him to hear me. I kept my eyes on the fabric around his neck, trying desperately to ignore his gaze, fixed firmly on my face. I couldn't stop my skin from flaming further under his scrutiny, and I was certain he knew exactly what he did to me.

I wobbled in my heels and his hand shot out to steady me, his warm grasp closing gently around my elbow, causing goose bumps to erupt across my skin. If he didn't notice before, I was sure he would when he felt the way my entire arm trembled at his proximity.

I steeled my nerves and reached for the silk tie, calming as its smooth texture slipped through my fingers. I measured the length of it out before getting to work. Edward's hand fell from my elbow when I lifted my arm, and surprisingly settled on my waist. I paused, looking up into his eyes, wondering what he was doing, but I couldn't purchase on any one emotion and had to look away. His hand didn't move from its position, and I carried on as if it was perfectly normal for him to be holding me so intimately.

I ignored the way my brain told me I secretly wanted it to be normal. The way it went galloping off towards thoughts of how else he could hold me and in what circumstances. I had to shake my head to clear the cloud of lust that was quickly settling over me.

I had to get back on safe ground.

"Sue told me you went home…" I sort of asked, and was both thankful and severely disappointed when his hand disappeared from my side. He raised it and raked it through his hair before answering me.

"Yeah. I wanted to spend some time in a familiar place. I waited for you to call..." he muttered, anger and disappointment evident in his tone.

I shrank back, ashamed of my own behaviour and how I had treated the man standing in front of me. It seemed my parents weren't the only ones I had to build bridges with.

"I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I pinned it to my wall, but with all the planning and details, I forgot it was even there. I haven't been coping with things very well, and I'm sorry for dragging you through it with me."

I stepped back towards him and pushed the neat knot I'd made up to the top button of his shirt. He swallowed at the same time and my fingers brushed over his warm skin, causing the backs of them to tingle.

I didn't know what made me say the next thing, but it came spilling out of me before I could think it through.

"This is your home, too. I don't want you to feel like you have to leave any time something goes wrong. Now, or…in the future…" I was going to say "when we're married," but my tongue just wouldn't shape around the words.

I got caught in his gaze once more when I mistakenly let my eyes wander north to his. My hands settled on his collarbone and neither of us moved.

"I'm sorry," I said, just as he opened his mouth to say something to me. His brow furrowed and he asked me why. "You've been putting so much effort into this working and I didn't even care. I've been such a bitch since you got here. I'm surprised you want to marry me at all." I tried to joke, but the humour sort of died in my throat.

His fingers were suddenly at my chin as he held my head in place, his piercing green eyes boring into mine. I thought he was going to kiss me. It terrified me because I _wanted _him to kiss me. I wanted to know what it felt like, what _he_ felt and tasted like, but he didn't. Instead, he answered me so earnestly that I could barely doubt what he was saying.

"I _want_ to marry you." He shook his head as if disagreeing with what he'd just said and continued. "Bella, I- "

"Bella? Edward?"

Edward's hand disappeared from my face and he took a step back just as Alice came through the door. I turned to see her eyes flitting between the two of us, and I knew she'd want details later. I was surprisingly angry at her for interrupting, but I wasn't sure if it was because I was angry at myself for wanting him to kiss me so much, or because he hadn't.

I also found myself intrigued as to what he was going to say. He'd made it seem so important by the way he obviously wanted to say it right, and the thundering beat of my heart felt like everything was somehow linked. The non-kiss, the tone of his voice that urged I utterly believe him, and that soft yet hard look in his eyes he'd levelled me with before.

"Everyone is waiting on you two. Is everything okay?" Alice asked with concern evident in her tone.

"I was running late. Bella was helping me," Edward replied. Alice nodded at him before her eyes landed on me suspiciously. I wasn't sure what she had to be suspicious about, though.

"Okay, well, don't be too long." She turned and left me and my still racing heart with Edward silent behind me.

"Can you?" he asked, raising his hand to indicate his cuffs. I nodded, unsure as to where we stood after what had just happened. I was more confused than ever but only about how_ I_ was feeling. Something in Edward's body language and voice told me I didn't have to doubt his loyalty to me. He did want to marry me, no matter how I acted, and he _was_ going to marry me.

He handed me the solid silver studs, and I fastened them quietly, enjoying the contact I kept with his warm skin as my fingers deftly joined his cuffs around his slender wrists.

When I'd finished, he turned and looked at himself in the mirror again almost as if he'd forgotten I was even there.

"Edward, is everything okay?" I asked quietly.

He sighed gently, rubbing his hand across his forehead as if he were sweating. I placed my hand on his arm and stepped around him, placing the back of my other one against his clammy forehead. His eyes snapped to mine and he tried to pull away, but I kept him in place and checked the back of his neck too.

"You're hot," I said automatically, my blush returning full force when he smiled cockily at me.

"Why thank you, Princess. You're not so bad yourself," he answered, showing me a side of himself I'd never encountered before. I didn't know he could be playful or cocky, and I smiled in response.

"You know what I meant," I reprimanded him.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired and I don't feel too great. It's probably just that bug that's going around. I'll get over it." I watched him closely as he answered, wondering if it was such a good idea for him to spend his night in a warm room surrounded by hundreds of people. "I'm fine, Bella. I'm not cancelling on you now."

He smiled gently at me, the truth in his words evident. Leaning down he took me by surprise by pressing his lips to my cheek. I hummed a little in contentment, my eyes flying open in mortification. It had been so unexpected that my body reacted the way it wanted to, the way I didn't want him to know it would.

Instead of laughing, or shooting off some cocky remark, however, he dropped his head and pressed a kiss to my shoulder before leaning his forehead on the same spot. I supressed the shiver that wanted to roll over me, but there was nothing I could do about the goose bumps.

He knew exactly what he could do to me, and I had never been more thankful to him than when he stood up straight and pretended like he didn't.

"Come on, we have a party to host." He smiled gently again before leading me out of the room, his hand on the small of my back. I wrung my own tightly in front of me, trying to expel some of the tension that was wracking through my body.

It was going to be a long night if I had to pretend his presence did nothing to me when I couldn't even step away from him.

Suddenly, he wasn't the only one who wasn't feeling too great.

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**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Oh, so close! Damn Alice!**

**Bella is finally opening her eyes, and poor Edward is dead on his feet...you know, delerium has been known to happen with "flu" - I wonder what he'll say! :P:P**

**Super excited for the next few chapters, so keep your eyes peeled on the blog and over on twitter for teasers :D:D**

**See you next week!**

**Sarah x**


	8. Show Time

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Welcome back everybody :D**

**Another thank you to the amazing response to the last chapter, pretty sure I got something like 40 reviews for it :D I took some time out yesterday to reply to you all, so if you didn't recieve one it's because you were either signed in as a guest, or have your PMs disabled (petra) :D**

**Most of you are on board with me, and for that I'm eternally grateful. I do like having you on my side rather than against me :D:D**

**Sooo...you may or may not LOVE this chapter as much as I do :D**

**Onwards!**

**I disclaim**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Show Time**

"Her Royal Highness, the Princess Isabella, and her fiancé, Lord Edward Masen."

The announcer's voice echoed through the ballroom and out into the reception area where Edward and I stood, awaiting our cue. It dawned on me as the great oak doors swung open that I'd have to get used to hearing it put that way. It had always just been "Her Royal Highness," or "The Princess Royal," but now my name would always be followed by Edward's and his changing titles as the years went by.

I had yet to decide what his title would be. Once we were married, he would be Prince Edward, but once I become Queen, I had the power to bestow another title on him, or as many as I saw fit depending on his duties. I shook my head; it would be a long time before I was Queen, so there was no need for me to be pondering it when there was a room full of people waiting for a glimpse of the engaged couple.

We entered slowly, my arm tucked into the crook of Edward's elbow, and stopped on a balcony above the staircase that swept down either wall into the room. I took in the sea of well-dressed people and inhaled the scent of my favourite flowers that adorned the marble banister as everyone in the room bowed lowly. With a raise of my hand, the band started up again, and the previously dancing couples went back to their positions. The rest mingled around the open dance floor, the elders, were already seated at the round tables.

Edward's grip on my arm increased as we descended the stairs, and I smiled at him gratefully. One always had to look graceful when descending into the mass of guests at an event – I always started at an elevated level – and it was easier said than done when you had as little grace and poise as I had been born with.

My mother and father waited at the bottom, and my eyes took in my father with worry. His face was tired and drawn and his skin pale. He clearly hadn't been able to shake off the flu, and I knew not to be surprised if he decided to leave the festivities early.

My mother kissed me on both cheeks before doing the same to Edward, who had to let go of me when Charlie shook his hand. My father, in his full army uniform, looked intimidating as always, and everyone in the room noted the respect both men showed each other. I felt the clamminess of his skin when he bent slightly and touched his cheek to mine, and it reminded me that Edward, too, wasn't well.

"Are you sure you should be here, Father?"

"Don't worry about me. I wouldn't miss seeing my little girl look so beautiful for anything. My little Princess is all grown up." He pulled back and smiled at me, tears shining in his eyes, and I had to blink back some of my own. I knew Edward was pretending not to listen, but he couldn't move from my side, so it was obvious he could hear every word.

"I'm sorry about my behaviour, Father. I hope you can forgive me. I have not been myself." I bowed my head slightly, sighing in relief when his hand landed on my bare shoulder and the other pulled my chin up so he could see my face.

"You are my daughter and heir. There is nothing to forgive if you can forgive this old man for a drastic oversight in judgement. Your mother and I will never forgive ourselves for not telling you sooner, Isabella, but I hope you know we just want you to be happy."

Edward's head snapped around, and I could feel his gaze on the side of my face as I took in my father's solemn expression. I wondered why Edward was so alarmed over what my father had said, but I had no time to ponder it as my mother cut in.

"Shall we, honey?" I smiled as he turned to his wife and held out his arm. My mother blew me a kiss before sweeping away by his side, the crowd parting and bowing as they went.

My eyes lingered on the back of her elegant golden dress; its train flowing across the floor behind her, before Edward cocked his arm out for me to latch onto caught my attention.

With another grateful smile, I hooked my arm through his, hitched up my dress with the other hand and followed after my father, trying not to groan when the people who'd been waiting to greet us slowly merged together, blocking the path that had been present not seconds before.

The first, Alec and his wife Alison, both joked about getting to us first and offering to take a long time to spare us from everyone else until dinner was served.

"Edward, you're not looking too great, my boy. Is everything okay?" Alec asked him a few minutes into our conversation. I broke off from what I had been saying to look around at my fiancé. Alec was right, his face was getting paler, and when I took his hand in mine, I noticed it was much clammier than it had been.

"Edward, do you want to sit down?" He shook his head almost immediately but raised my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of it. I tried to cover the quiet gasp that left my mouth, but I was pretty sure Alison caught it with a sly smile.

"I'll leave you for a minute. I think I need some water. Don't move, I promised your father I wouldn't let you out of my sight tonight." He looked at me sternly until I nodded my head, and a small smile spread across his lips.

"Maybe I should join you, make sure you don't collapse half way to the bar?" Alec said, before Edward nodded slightly and they both disappeared into the crowd. I noticed more than several pairs of eyes on me as Edward departed, and I turned to Alison, trying to make it look like we were in a deep, important conversation.

"He should be in bed," she remarked kindly.

"I asked him if he was up to it, but he was insistent."

"Of course he was. This is your engagement party. And in that dress? You can't blame him for wanting every man in this room to see you with him." My jaw dropped as Alison giggled lightly. I was unsure as to whether Alec had filled her in on "the situation," but her next comment told me he hadn't.

"That boy is mad about you. He probably didn't want to let you down. Maybe you could play it off as him being lovesick?" She giggled again, and I tried to join in but it died in my throat, making her look at me in concern.

"I didn't mean to speak out of turn, Princess. Forgive me." She bowed her head slightly, and I told myself to get a grip.

"Not at all, Alison. There is nothing to forgive. I'm a little nervous tonight, is all."

"He won't let you down, Princess, he's been waiting for tonight for a very long time after all. I guess you both have." She smiled as Alec and Edward re-joined us, taking her husband's arm and both of them bidding us goodbye.

I played her words down. She'd clearly just read the article and, like was supposed to happen, believed every word. It did surprise me that Alec hadn't told her the truth about us, however. Before she was diagnosed with cancer, she used to work in the palace gardens and, like her husband, knew everything that went on behind its doors.

My hand was back in Edward's, and I didn't know how it got there. Had I reached out and weaved my fingers through his without realising? Or was I so caught up in the riddles I'd been living with for weeks that I hadn't noticed Edward's gentle touch. I turned to find him with his eyes shut and breathing deeply and decided I must have done it because he was in no state to do anything.

"Please, Edward, this can't be doing you any good."

He opened one eye and peered at me, and for some reason I laughed, finding him quite comical with one eye still screwed shut. A soft smile appeared on his face, making him look young and almost bashful.

"If it makes you laugh, I'll stand here all night," he answered, equally as softly as the look in his eye.

"I don't think you could stand all night, even if you wanted to," I replied, diverting the conversation in a safe direction. I couldn't take sweet declarations when I was already feeling confused over our non-kiss from earlier in the evening.

"Incoming," he whispered before straightening up and squeezing my hand in his. He looked down to where our fingers were interwoven then up at me and smiled. I guess it had been me who'd joined us together again.

"Ah, Principessa!" came a boisterous voice, and I smiled as I turned to the man coming towards us. He took my unoccupied hand and kissed the back of it, bowing slightly. I was about to speak when he greeted Edward on his own.

"Edwardo, mio amico!" I watched in fascination as Edward shook hands with the young Italian Prince before he turned and kissed his wife Isobel on each cheek.

I stood in relatively stunned silence as they chatted like old friends – in Italian – only speaking when asked a direct question or looked at for an answer. I didn't mind being a slight outsider because it gave me the chance to watch him – the way he smiled and laughed, the way his eyes sparkled when they landed on mine, or paused when he realised I'd been watching him. He was sort of beautiful. Not to mention the language thing, hearing him speak fluently in Italian impressed me whether I wanted it to or not.

I smiled warmly at them both as they left, with promises to have lunch with Isobel before they left for Rome, and watched as they melted into the dancing couples a few feet from us.

"Come on, we're like sitting ducks here," Edward murmured lowly into my ear, making me tremble and feelings I didn't want to feel coursed through my veins the closer he got to me.

He led me through the smiling, drinking couples, smiling warmly at some, shaking hands with others, all the while keeping a tight grip on my hand. I completely forgot about my "position." Edward made me feel like an equal for the first time in what felt like forever, and I let him lead me, thinking I'd probably let him lead me anywhere.

We managed to get through the room, only having to stop three times. The King and Princess of Monaco wanted to personally congratulate us and admire the ring that was so well known to them. The President of Ireland was a close friend of my father's and was eager to meet Edward, even going so far as to invite him out for a round of golf. And lastly, we simply couldn't duck out of the old Queen of Spain, who'd always been good to my family in times of crisis, so we spent a good twenty minutes talking to her – mostly about her – but playing the dutiful hosts nonetheless.

By the time we made it to the other side of the room where Alice was keeping Rosalie company, Edward was about ready to collapse. I guided him into his seat at the head table and asked a passing waiter to get him some water and bread from the kitchen.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked him quietly, pulling my chair so I was sitting close to his side. Turning and obstructing anyone's view of my face, Edward propped his head up with his hand and smiled.

"You're cute when you're concerned."

"I'm concerned my party is going to be front page news because I drove my fiancé to faint," I replied dryly. He laughed lightly and leaned further in to me, his breath mixing with mine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to let you down or ruin tonight for you."

"You're not ruining anything, Edward. I'm worried about how sick you are!"

"Feels good," he mumbled, confusing me.

"What does?"

"Your being worried about me." I was saved from thinking up an answer when the waiter hastily delivered a pitcher of iced water and a basket of freshly baked bread, scurrying away quickly. Edward only chuckled when I watched him basically run away.

"He thought he was interrupting something."

I looked blankly back at him until what he meant clicked.

"Oh." I blushed as I thought about it,_ really_ thought about it. How simple it would be to just lean across and brush my lips against his, thank him for standing by my side despite how he was feeling, to slide my fingers innocently through his hair as I pulled back from our kiss.

It was all playing out in front of me, and I was worried Edward could read it all over me with the way his eyes were searching my face.

It would be normal and innocent enough to everyone else, but to us it would be monumental. I had to fight the impulsive side of me that was screaming at me to do it.

"Everybody is stariiinggg…" Rosalie sang as she sat opposite Edward, Alice quickly dropping into the seat next to her.

"They're just enjoying seeing a different side to their Princess," Alice answered, and I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"So then why is it only the guys who are staring?" Rosalie asked innocently. I was about to tell her she was imagining it when Edward's arm suddenly appeared around my neck as he pulled me closer.

"Because there are three beautiful women sitting at the one table. They don't know what to do with themselves," he told my little sister, making her giggle, but Alice and I exchanged looks.

He was jealous.

Alison's words from earlier in the evening came back to me, _"You can't blame him for wanting every man in this room to see you with him."_

"Edward," I warned him quietly, taking his arm from around my shoulders and resting his hand back on the table. Trying to garner as little attention as possible, I straightened my chair and smiled as my mother and father made their way across to us. "I don't think that's entirely appropriate," I finished under my breath, only loud enough for him to hear.

I heard him sigh in aggravation. "I'm sorry, Princess. I wasn't aware I couldn't touch my own fiancée." I gritted my teeth at his tone but let it slide, knowing he wasn't feeling great anyway. If he'd put two-and-two together over the course of the evening, he'd have realised I wasn't opposed to him touching me in the slightest, but for whatever reason he had taken my statement the wrong way.

I was about to set him right when the bell rang loudly around the room to signal that dinner was about to be served. Instead, I watched as the dance floor and surrounding areas emptied as everyone found their place at whichever table they'd been designated to.

My mother and father, Rosalie, Alice, Edward, myself, Alec and Alison were all seated at table one, and no one was allowed to touch the food served in front of them until the King had given his toast.

My father's speech consisted of glowing praise of his future son-in-law, including a bit that told of how thankful he was his eldest daughter was going to be looked after and cherished by someone he trusted to be nothing but the best choice for me. I nearly rolled my eyes, not expecting my father to play up to all the fake stories, but there he was, indicating that he'd always known Edward was the boy for me.

Edward remained quiet throughout the toast and most of dinner. He answered questions when spoken to, but otherwise concentrated on making it look like he was eating something. I only knew this because I was doing the same – pushing the food around to displace it and making it look like there was some missing.

Everyone just put his quiet demeanour down to his illness, but when I asked him if he needed anything and got no reply, I knew I'd upset him with my behaviour.

When desert arrived and an extravagant looking chocolate mousse was set in front of me, while Edward got what looked like lemon drizzle cake, I had an idea. I wasn't sure where it had stemmed from, but something told me it would work.

"If I say you can have my_ amazing_ chocolate mousse, will you talk to me?" I asked him quietly. Not quietly enough, however, as Alec heard every word and was watching me with surprise evident on his face.

He wasn't the only one. Edward's eyes snapped to mine and his mouth fell open a little. I knew it was a bit sudden for me to be nice to him, but I thought they were slightly overreacting.

"Chocolate mousse is a high price to offer, there's no taking it back once it's on the table," Edward replied lowly with a smile.

"I swear to trade you my chocolate mousse for that lemon cake, but only if you stop ignoring me."

"It seems I get more out of this deal than you do," he answered. I shrugged, I didn't know why I suddenly cared so much if he talked to me or not. "Chocolate mousse is my favourite…" he finished, looking away from me, puzzled by something. Had I known that? Had someone said it in passing? I didn't recall if it had been in the "booklet" or not.

"And lemon cake is mine," I answered.

"It always has been. No one can accuse you of being unpredictable."

I frowned, not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. I completely ignored the fact that he'd known my favourite dessert, too distracted by his gleaming eyes and perfect smile.

"I'll swap you on one condition…two actually."

I nodded, not trusting my voice as Edward leaned in close again, his aftershave filling the air around me and his heat warming my exposed skin.

"You dance with me later, and we talk. Before you go to bed, I need to tell you something." The look in his eyes was determined and I felt anxious about what he needed to tell me that was clearly so important to him.

"We have to dance together anyway," I reminded him instead.

"Yeah, but I want you to _want_ to. It's one thing to just do it, but I'm asking if you'll dance with me?" The smile on his face was sweet, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.

My answer came as a whisper. "I want to dance with you, Edward."

"Good. Now pass me that mousse. I'm pretty sure I need the sugar."

His hand brushed mine as we swapped plates. He winked at me, both of us knowing the whole table was watching what we were doing with interest, and I blushed under the attention – his, not that of everyone else – it was like no one else existed when he looked at me that way.

I caught Alice's knowing look as I turned back to my lemon sponge. She could see it too. I wasn't immune to his charm, and he wasn't even really trying.

I was screwed.

* * *

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Wooo, the girl finally sees what we've been screaming at her all along!**

**And what could he possibly need to tell her before they go to bed? Hmmm?**

**Review and let me know what you think if you'd be so kind :) And don't forget TEASERS go up on twitter and my blog :D You should know the links by now :D**

**See you next week!**

**Sarah x**


	9. First Dance

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hello, one and all!**

**Sorry for the delay, but this chapter comes from my new house in my new city :D Thank you to everyone for their messages of encouragment and "luck," the move went well and I'm sort of getting settled in :D I start back to uni next monday, so once I've actually got something to do with my days I'll be good :D We all need a bit of routine :D**

**Massive love to my new permanent beta Twilightmom505 who is now onboard with this fic, she is fabulous :D**

**We last left E&B half way through their engagement dinner/dance :D**

**I hope this was worth the wait, because something happens at the end that y'all have been waiting for since chapter one :P**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, there were around 40 of you and I apologise for not getting back to you like I usually do, but I've just had too much to get on with RL wise :D We'll get back to normal soon, I promise :D**

**Onwards!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: First Dance**

I felt hot. I didn't even have a fever, but the room was too stifling. Or maybe Edward's gaze was just too intense.

I watched helplessly as the waiters took the desert dishes away,and my wine glass was topped up. More wine was the last thing I needed, that would just mess up my reasoning for why I was staying away from Edward. Why was I staying away from Edward?

The night was far from over. We'd managed to duck out of talking to most people when we arrived, but it still had to be done. I could hear the chatter from around the room, and I could see everyone loosening up as they got to know the people they shared their table with.

I wasn't all that different from some of them. I was getting to know more about Edward than I thought was possible during a public dance. Even with all the watchful eyes, he still managed to make me feel like there were only the two of us in the room.

I was listening to Alison and Alice discuss London fashion week when I felt Edward's hand rest on top of mine. I hadn't even realised that I was shredding a napkin on my lap until he weaved his fingers with mine and stopped me.

Without turning, I knew he'd leaned in. Without seeing him, I knew he'd been watching me unwaveringly, for at _least_ the last twenty minutes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

His fingers closed tighter around mine, and I could no longer move them, putting a complete stop to my mess making.

"There is something wrong," he stated with conviction.

"Stop looking at me!" I snapped. My face flamed as I realised what I'd just admitted, and because I'd garnered the attention of most of the table. Alec, I noticed, was smirking into his napkin and I shot him a death glare. It wasn't funny.

"What?" Edward chuckled, no doubt thinking I was crazy and having no idea what I was talking about. I took a deep breath and decided, for the first time since we met, to be honest with him.

"You keep watching me, and I don't know what you expect or if I'm doing something wrong or even if you like what you see, and it terrifies me that I even care."

My eyes fell to my lap where Edward's grip had slightly loosened on my hand, a sure sign of the surprise he felt over my answer.

The minutes seemed to drag by, the mindless chatter in the background growing louder as I grew more uncomfortable. What felt like a lifetime later, Edward's other hand cupped my chin, and he brought my head up so he could look me in the eye.

His eyes were sparkling in the light from the chandeliers, his amusement shining in both them and his secret smile. I got lost in his pretty emerald eyes and noticed his mouth moving, but I was too mesmerised to hear what he was saying. He only smiled wider when I asked him to repeat whatever it was.

"I'm only watching you because you're fascinating and beautiful. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable."

I released the breath I hadn't noticed I was holding, the tension evaporating from my body at his answer. It secretly pleased me that he continued to call me beautiful, and the fact that he was feeling the same way as I was about him. Watching him interact and just _be_ was fascinating to me too.

"Not…" I trailed off, unsure as to whether I wanted to be quite so honest, but his beseeching gaze made me carry on. "Not in a bad way. I've just never had to think about how my actions might reflect on someone else before. I mean, I've always known that I was expected to do and sat certain things with certain people, but you're different. It's like maybe the way I've always been taught to be isn't right…for you…"

Right then, _I knew_. I wanted to be right for him. I didn't want to be a disappointment or turn out to be less than he imagined. I wanted to be everything he wanted and more than he needed, but the pressure of those feelings was overwhelming, and I wasn't sure what to do with it.

An incredulous look passed across his face, and I felt stupid in telling him how I felt. He seemed so much older than me in that moment, and I was playing the naïve little girl who didn't know how to react to her newfound emotions.

His fingers moved from under my chin to the side of my face, and I revelled in the way his hand curved perfectly to the shape of my cheek. I wanted to lean into his touch, but he seemed aware that his hands were showing signs of his fever, and he kept his touch feather light.

"I'm not here to judge you, Bella. Nothing you do could be…wrong for me." He said the word as if it confused him, and I smiled at his certainty. "You're you. I don't want you to be anything other than who you are. My friend, my wife, my Queen. I know all of those sides to you will be different, but if they…someday…all feel the same way about me, then nothing could be wrong."

I stared in wonder at the man before me. His words were so eloquent, so poetic, that I couldn't help but feel like, maybe, I'd underestimated him all those weeks ago when I accused him of having years to fantasise about his position. In the way he spoke, it seemed to me like he didn't care he was marrying a Princess, just that he was marrying _me_. It was humbling, but it was also strange to imagine as he knew as little about me as I did him and yet seemed to feel so strongly.

Maybe he was just one of those people: who felt so passionately about everything.

"You're too good for me, for all this…" I mumbled, my eyes falling to his tie as I recalled all the horrible things I'd said to him, and the way I'd treated him since he arrived in the palace.

"Quite the contrary, Princess. I'm not good _enough_, but I'll try my hardest every day for the rest of our lives to be close to it."

He was smiling sadly when I looked back up, and without thinking too much about it, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his temple. His entire body froze, the whole room seemed to freeze when I realised what I'd done, but I held my nerve and whispered a "thank you" in his ear before pulling back.

My right hand wriggled out from underneath Edward's, and I raised it to his other temple, brushing hair that had fallen into his eyes out of the way, giving me an uninterrupted view of the soft look I had come to crave since we'd met.

The heat under my fingers concerned me, though, and I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead. "You're temperature is getting higher," I mumbled worriedly. At the rate he was going, he wasn't going to last the night.

"I'm okay, it should come down soon. I took some painkillers." He took my hand in his and brushed a kiss across the back of my knuckles, making me giggle. I actually giggled. The sound was so foreign that I pressed my lips together as if it was forbidden, causing Edward to laugh loudly.

He stood so quickly that I was left staring at his waist, wondering what was going on. He still held my hand in his and I blushed, because standing, he had the attention of almost everyone in the room. A room which had gone deathly quiet.

All the guests were usually given a rest period of around thirty minutes, wherein they could sit at their leisure, digesting their food and enjoying the company of their table. No one was expecting us to move for a while yet, but clearly Edward had other ideas.

"Would you dance with me, Isabella?" he asked politely, quietly. We shared a sort of secret smile because we'd already had this conversation, and he knew I'd say yes, and not just because I had to.

I stood up, my body close to his and whispered. "We're not supposed to get up so early."

"I know, forgive me, but I wanted at least one dance with you before I'm afraid I might have to retire. I don't think I'm going to last much longer." I glanced up at him, my concern back full-force, to find him smirking at me. He was playing on his "condition" just to get his way.

"You don't play fair," I protested quietly as he held out his arm and escorted me passed smiling face upon smiling face as we made our way to the empty dance floor.

"I never said I would, Princess." He spun around quickly and had me in his arms in a move that had a few of the women in the room laughing joyously.

I looked around me in alarm, noting that every eye in the room was on us, and feeling uncomfortable under their scrutiny. No matter how many occasions I found myself the centre of attention, I still hated it.

"There's no music," I hissed, my eyes narrowed at Edward. He nodded somewhere over my head and the band started playing almost immediately. I rolled my eyes, and he smirked again.

I recognised the song the second the first guitar note sounded, and I felt my whole body relax into Edward's arms as he pulled me closer.

Everyone was still staring, but I felt them melting away for the millionth time as I rested my forehead below his shoulder and let him slowly lead us as the guitar notes continued to float around us.

"_There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth,_

_Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt,_

_It's still a little hard to say, what's going on…"_

I felt more than saw other couples join us on the floor.

All I could feel was Edward's body and the heat it was emanating. All I could smell was the subtle hints of his aftershave and the general scent he had to him. All I could hear were the sweet sounds of the young guy singing on the stage at the other end of the room, and Edward's soft, slow breathing.

He bent his head and brought us closer together, making me feel new things when his breath blew past my ear and through the tendrils of hair that had fallen loose.

"_Still a little bit of your ghost, you witness,_

_Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed_

_You step a little closer each day_

_That I can't say what's going on."_

I couldn't help but feel that the song was connecting on a new level with me, more so than ever before. I found myself thinking about the way I was starting to question everything Edward said and did. I doubted how he felt and what his motives were when it came to me, and each time he got closer, he clouded my judgment even more.

"_Stones taught me to fly,_

_Love taught me to lie_

_Life taught me to die_

_So it's not hard to fall,_

_When you float like a cannonball."_

I tensed in Edward's arms, and I knew he noticed.

_Love taught me to lie._

I wouldn't go so far as to say I loved him, but I definitely knew I was falling for him, and it was all a lie; at least to everyone else. We were lying about our history and our feelings to the entire world – taking vows before God based on a lie.

"Relax, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, and almost immediately I did. I lifted my head and gathered the courage to look in his eyes as we continued to dance. I knew that if we did end up spending the rest of our lives together, I would always find the truth in his eyes.

He surprised me by starting to lowly sing along.

"_Still a little bit of your song in my ear,_

_Still a little bit of your words I long to hear._

_You step a little closer to me,_

_So close that I can't see what's going on."_

Edward's voice was warm and low, sliding over me in a way that made my whole body tingle and my grip on his neck to tighten. I saw his pupils dilate and his nostrils flare, but other than that, we continued to sway like everyone else.

"_Stones, taught me to fly_

_Love, taught me to lie_

_Life, taught me to die_

_So it's not hard to fall,_

_When you float like a cannon_

_Stones taught me to fly_

_Love taught me to cry_

_So come on courage_

_Teach me to be shy_

'_Cause it's not hard to fall_

_And I don't wanna scare her_

_It's not hard to fall,_

_And I don't want to lose,_

_It's not hard to grow_

_When you know that you just don't know."_

Instead of the song finishing, the guitarist carried on, no doubt until they chose the next song they wanted to play.

Edward was still swaying us and looking down at me in such a way that my heart was hammering in my chest. It was so loud, so obvious, against my breastbone that I was sure he could hear it pulsing through me.

His head twitched, so slightly that I would have missed it had I not been staring right back at him. His eyes held mine, looking for something, permission, as he lowered his head slowly.

My breathing was almost non-existent, my hands were starting to sweat, my head dizzy, my feet incapable of moving as he closed the small distance between our heads and pressed his lips against mine so softly, I could have sworn I had imagined it.

But I hadn't. He did it again, a little harder, before the music changed suddenly, and we both remembered where we were. I pulled back sharply, keeping my head down so as not to make eye contact with anyone and counted to twenty before pulling out of Edward's grasp completely.

I smoothed my hands down my sides, unsure what to do, where to look, or what to say. Thankfully, my mother arrived at my side and took my arm in hers.

When I looked up at her, she was smiling softly at Edward over my shoulder, but I pretended not to notice. Of course everyone saw us kiss; of course everyone would think it more monumental than it was.

But was there something more monumental than it was? It was our first kiss. I found myself angry that everyone had witnessed something so personal, something that under any other circumstances I would have wanted to keep secret for a while, long enough for me to dissect every moment of it. It hadn't even been long enough for me to really realise what was happening.

I wanted it to happen again. No, more than that, I _needed_ Edward to kiss me again. I was craving it already.

"Your father isn't feeling very well, Isabella, would you be disappointed if we made our excuses?" My mother's voice jolted me out of my reverie, and I looked over at the table Edward and I had been occupying not long before to see my father talking with a couple of state senators from across the water.

"No. Of course not, he should be resting. I'll come say goodnight."

I turned to tell Edward I'd be right back, but he'd clearly heard everything. "I'll come with you," he told me quietly, not quite meeting my eyes.

I berated myself once more. He probably thought kissing me was the wrong thing to do after I'd pulled away so abruptly. I only hoped he wasn't regretting it. I took his hand in mine and let my mother lead us back to the table, guests bowing and curtseying as we passed.

"Papa," I greeted him, bowing my head slightly in respect in front of our company.

"Goodnight, my daughter. Do enjoy the rest of your night."

He kissed me on the forehead and shook the hand of Edward's that I wasn't still holding onto firmly. We watched as both he and my mother left with many handshakes along the way, the band restarting once the doors had closed behind them.

I felt a tug on my hand and turned to find Edward sitting, his eyes tightly closed and a sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

"Edward?" I asked, alarmed. I made the split decision that he was my priority. Waving Alec over I asked him to kindly make our excuses to the rest of the ballroom, and he quickly made his way to the stage against the wall.

"Excuse me, Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. If I could have your attention for a minute." He smiled as the babble quieted down.

"Her Royal Highness has asked me to thank you all for coming this evening and to try and enjoy the rest of your night. Her fiancé is unfortunately unwell and has tried his best to last the night; however, I'm afraid both Edward and Princess Isabella will be retiring shortly. If you would be so kind as to raise your glasses in an early toast, to the joy of their engagement, and the success of their marriage. Her Royal Highness and Lord Edward Masen."

Everyone in the room raised their glass in unison, repeating our names and applauding afterwards. I smiled at all those I could make eye contact with before helping Edward up. For some reason his fever seemed to have picked up pace in ravaging through his body, and I barely managed to get him out of the ballroom on my own.

Once on the other side of the door, he loosened his tie and took a few deep breaths, leaning against the wall for support. I quickly undid his cufflinks and the buttons on his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders and rolling his sleeves up, trying my best to cool him down.

Taking his hand, we slowly made our way up the grand staircase and along the second corridor to our rooms. He opened his door and made to go in, but I hadn't moved and our joined hands tugged between us.

He looked back at me with a look of puzzlement on his handsome, tired face. "You don't want to come in?" he asked slowly, as if somehow even the question was ridiculous. I searched his face, buying time, as I had no idea _what_ I wanted. Not knowing what to say, I let my eyes fall to our still joined hands.

"You said we could talk," he reminded me.

"You need to rest," I replied shortly, not sure why I was suddenly annoyed.

Okay, so maybe I did. It was supposed to be the part of the night where we said goodnight – like at the end of a date in a movie. I'd walked him to his door, when it should have been the other way around, and I suddenly wanted him to bid me goodnight the way any dashing protagonist would. I was aching for him to do it, willing him silently to get it and kiss me, but luck was not on my side. He had no idea what was wrong with me.

"What's wrong?"

I shrugged, feeling stupid. He sighed and from the corner of my eye I saw him rake his hand through his hair.

"I'm frustrating you," I stated, rolling my eyes at myself for acting like such a girl.

"I don't know what I've done this time!"

I looked back up at him, surprised that he would automatically think he'd done something wrong. Well, he had, but not through any fault of his own, it wasn't like he knew I wanted him to kiss me.

"I'm sorry. I'm being such a girl, and I'm never usually like this and I don't know what's wrong with me and…"

"Woah, slow down." He chuckled and raised an eyebrow, definitely intrigued as to what the hell I was going on about.

"Not usually like what? And what are you being a girl about?" His smile was warm, and so were his eyes, and I had to try so hard not to get lost in them. Not breaking our locked gazes, I took a deep breath and told him the truth, slowly.

"You need to rest. I promise we'll talk in the morning…"

"But?" he prodded gently.

"I'm standing at your door…" I flushed deep pink and hoped he knew what I was getting at, both of my hands now holding one of his.

He sighed again. "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't feel good, and I can barely concentrate, you're going to have to be a little more helpful…" he smiled gently to let me know he wasn't trying to get rid of me, and I took the courage from that. That maybe he wanted me to stay – he had invited me in after all.

"It's the end of the night…I've walked you to your door, which is slightly out of the ordinary, but this is usually the part where…where you'd kiss me goodnight and say you had a 'lovely time' or something equally as cliché."

I bit my lip as I watched him digest my words. When it dawned on him, his eyes sparked, his lips twitched and his hand squeezed mine.

"I thought, earlier…I thought you hadn't wanted me to kiss you…"

"I wasn't expecting it! I mean, I was praying it would happen all night, but then it did and it was in front of all those people, and I didn't get to savour it and…"

I was cut off by Edward's lips on mine, hot and insistent, and I moaned into his mouth before I could stop myself. He stepped closer to me, one hand sliding around my waist to my lower back and the other gripping the back of my neck.

We were so close, but it wasn't close enough. His grip on me was tight, but I still felt like I could get closer, claw my way into him and stay there forever. When his tongue brushed my lip I opened up to him and reveled in the groan that sounded at the back of his throat.

It was too much and not enough at the same time. I could feel him, smell him, touch him and taste him all at the same time. His kiss ignited parts of me that had clearly been dormant until that point. A fire was spreading its way through my insides as he held me to him, and I was sure I was going to melt into a puddle at his feet when he pulled away, breathless.

"Better?" he asked with a chuckle. I could only nod, all powers of speech having fled the building completely. I was still gripping onto his shoulder with one hand and the back of his neck with the other, afraid that if I let go, my jelly legs would give out on me.

"Bella?" he asked again, probably wondering why I was hanging onto him.

"Just…just give me a minute…"

He chuckled lowly and the sound vibrated through me, keeping me warm in the afterglow of his kiss. God, could he kiss.

We stood quietly, breathing in each other's air until he spoke again. "I'm sorry, Bella, I really need to lie down…"

"Oh, God, sorry! Go, I'll get you some water!"

I watched him cross the room, pausing in my own task when he kicked off his shoes and socks and started unbuttoning his shirt. My heart rate was picking up at the sheer possibility of seeing him half-naked and I was rooted to the spot.

"Are you just going to watch me strip? 'Cause I could really do with that water about now," he said over his shoulder, laughing as I stuttered a response, "Yeah, no, water, sure…" and dashed into the bathroom.

By the time I made it back into his bedroom he was out cold, face down on the bed, his shirt on the chair in the corner. I kicked off my heels, sighing as my toes met the plush carpet and placed the large glass on the bedside table.

I un-tucked the duvet and threw it over him, checked his temperature one last time, brushed the hair out of his eyes and settled against the pillows on the other side of the bed to watch over him incase his fever got worse over the course of the night.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Well? :D:D I loved writing this chapter :D:D:D**

**Please review and let me know what you think :D**

**There wasn't a teaser for this chapter as I was so busy, but there usually is and you can find them on my blog at www . liveindakota . blogspot . com :D If you SUBSCRIBE, you'll get an e-mail everytime a new teaser goes up :D**

**See you all soon!**

**XX**


	10. Incoherent Truths

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**Happy Thanksgiving weekend t othose of you who are celebrating it, I hope you're all having a peaceful and relaxing few days!**

** So sorry for the mega delay, but it was that time of year again with moving to uni and getting settled into a new house and back into my course!**

**Thank you to the amazing number of people who are reading and reviewing. Welcome to everyone who has joined since the last chapter was posted, and thank you to all of you who have sent me little messages of encouragement and sweetness in my absence.**

**I will never not finish any of my fics, I have no left nor forgotten about any of you.**

**At the end of the last chapter, after their engagement ball was more successful than even B imagined, E&B had their 2nd 1st kiss and Edward's fever was getting steadily worse.**

**Onwards!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Incoherent Truths**

I only lasted around thirty minutes before I decided I needed to change.

I made my way into my own room, changed into some comfortable pyjamas, picked up the book I was halfway through, my pea, and headed back into Edward's. I settled in against the mountain of soft pillows and hoped he would be okay until morning when the palace doctor would be called.

It was going to be a long night, but I found I didn't care. I was going to be married to him; the least I could do was look after him when he didn't have anyone else.

Sure, a maid could do it, but he was _my_ fiancé – my date for all intents and purposes – and I realised I wanted it to be me.

I had ill-treated him for weeks, for far longer than I should have. My behaviour was immature and cruel, and hot tears pricked at my eyes as I thought over my words and actions. I could have lost him, chased him away so many times, and yet he'd stayed. He'd stuck by me, and that said so much more for his character than it did for mine.

I was going to be Queen of an empire one day, either when my father decided I was ready or when the time came when I had no choice. I couldn't even grow up enough to treat my future husband with respect. I wasn't even mature enough to see that, from the very beginning, I was intrigued by and attracted to him. I wasn't mature enough to see that there was something there, that he was special and that my parents had chosen him for a reason.

I'd acted like a child – a child I was no longer supposed to be. I'd been learning and studying the ways of my future empire for years, and when faced with a problem I hadn't been expecting, I retreated into the naïve little eighteen year old I wasn't expected to be.

I wasn't supposed to act like a petulant teenager. I was supposed to show poise, elegance and discretion when faced with any obstacle or situation. I was heir to the most powerful throne in the world, and I had spent the start of my summer throwing what could only be called a tantrum.

I had no right to act out against my parents, ignore my palatial duties, or avoid my fiancé.

I fell asleep with tear tracks on my face and my pea locked securely under my arm. The exertions of the day and the emotional rollercoaster of the night took its toll on me and my eyes drifted closed despite my weak protests.

Dreams of my upcoming wedding day filtered through my head like a movie; my father walking me down the aisle to hundreds of turned heads in the cathedral, the narrow passage stretching away in front of me, but Edward standing at the other end making the walk bearable. All I could see was the back of his head, but it was enough to know he was there.

Sighs followed me as I made my way along, my dress floating gracefully behind me, Rosalie at the other end of the train. Edward slipped his hand into mine without turning around, and I saw him smile as I studied his profile.

He was so handsome. Freshly shaven with his hair tamed for the first time in its existence. I could see his eyes sparkling as he tried to hold in his laughter, and I wasn't quite sure what he was finding so funny. The minister was watching me with kind eyes when I turned to the front, and when Edward squeezed my hand in his, a world of happiness settled over me.

I felt a tug on my train and turned, puzzled. Rosalie and Alice were at the side of the altar in their places, and everyone else should have been sitting. There was nothing in my line of sight, but when I looked down, there was a gorgeous little boy sitting on the train of my dress, grinning a gap-toothed smile up at me.

The congregation was chuckling at the sweet little boy in his mini tux and bowtie, and I couldn't help but join them. I was confused though, there were no children of that age at the ceremony, and I wasn't sure what he was doing there.

Edward surprised me by letting go of my hand and stooping down to pick up the boy.

"Kiddo, what are you doing? You're going to ruin Mama's dress!"

I felt faint as I listened to his sugared tones speak those particular words. _Mama?_ I had a son? _We_ had a son?

"Edward?" I whispered, uncertainty clouding my tone.

"Don't worry; I'll give him to my mother." He winked at me before turning back to the boy. "You'll behave for Mummy and Daddy won't you?" The little person nodded enthusiastically and giggled when the mass of people behind him chuckled again.

I followed my eyes to Edward's parent's in the front row, sitting alongside my mother with a little baby girl in her arms. My eyes widened as Edward made his way back to me, childless.

"They'll be just like us one day. Only brother and sister. Not future husband and wife…" I laughed at the adorable frown on my husband's face as he realised what he'd said.

I awoke, startled, just as my dream Edward pressed his lips to my cheek. A dark room and Edward's scent and warmth invaded my senses as I slowly remembered where I was.

I froze in place, realising Edward's arm was around my waist, and the real man had just placed a kiss on my cheek like his dream counterpart.

The next thing I noticed was how hot I was. Edward must have turned in his sleep, his chest now pressed against my back as he held me in his arms. It would have been nice if he wasn't so hot and my heart wasn't hammering in my chest due to a crazy dream. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and had to figure out a way to get out of his grasp without disturbing him.

When I lifted my arm, trying to do the same to his, he mumbled my name.

"Stay here," he mumbled next, burrowing his face into my neck, making me shiver from top-to-toe.

"Edward, you're too hot. You need to rest," I whispered kindly, brushing the hair from his sweaty forehead when I turned to face him.

He opened his eyes, the green pools hazy and unfocused, and I started to panic that there was something seriously wrong with him. His gaze focused on me as much as it could and he frowned sadly.

"I just got you back. I don't want to let you go again."

"I'm just letting you rest, Edward. You're not well," I replied, rolling my eyes. As if he didn't already know that.

He kept talking like he hadn't even heard me. "It was too long."

"What was? The party? I'm sorry I made you go…" His eyes snapped open again and it looked like he had to battle to find the strength to talk.

"No. We've been apart for too long."

My heart stuttered painfully, and out of instinct I raised my hand and clutched at my chest.

"Edward, what…" It was like I already knew – deep down – what he was going to say, but my brain just wouldn't let me compute it.

"I lost them, and then I lost you. I wanted to come back. I _promise_ I wanted to come back."

He paused, dragging in a breath that even in my shocked mind I knew didn't sound healthy.

"And then I did. I finally got you back, and you had no idea who I was…"

It was all right there in front of me to grasp onto, but I had to hear him out. I knew he shouldn't have been wasting his energy on me like that, but I was being selfish – one last time, I told myself. I could see it in his dulling eyes that he had more to say and feel it in his death grip on my hand. I didn't even realise we'd been holding hands. Maybe that was why I was so calm, so grounded, because that was what his touch did to me.

"That day down at the stables? You looked straight through me and every dream I'd had about that meeting just…melted. You had no idea who I was. I kept waiting for you to say my name, smile, anything, but you couldn't even stand to look at me, and it _hurt_…so much…"

Some pathetic whimper escaped my throat before I could catch it, and Edward's eyes snapped up to mine. I was sitting with my legs crossed Indian style, his hand in my lap, clasped between both of mine. I was holding on for dear life, because it was all right there. All I had to do was open the door in my head a little wider, and I knew it would all come flooding through.

"I was so naïve," he continued, and I shook my head vehemently. He wasn't the naïve one, he wasn't the one who'd been stupid and spoiled and wasted so much time. He stopped me by squeezing my hand; he wasn't finished.

"I was, Bella. I had this picture in my head of the two of us meeting, like, you'd run across the space between us and jump into my arms or something ridiculous. All I knew was that I'd never want to let you go if that happened and thought that you'd want that too.

"I'm so sorry. I spent so much time away that I romanticised what we had before I left. You were only eleven years old. You weren't old enough to even know what the feelings I was experiencing were. You couldn't miss me the way I missed you because you wouldn't have known what it was.

"When you walked away that day it all just…clicked…I'd never realised that you wouldn't have been old enough to even remember me if you had nothing to remind you of me.

"It didn't make sense at first. I guess I was egotistical and cocky thinking 'how could she forget me,' but you were so young…so innocent…"

His hand cradled my cheek and I leaned into it without thinking twice. His eyes had cleared, and I took strength from him. He was ill, weak, yet he found the courage to speak the truth. I had to learn from him; because it was clearer to me then than ever before that I'd spent weeks running from it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I asked your parents not to tell you. I'm so, so sorry I left you, Princess, but I had no choice."

His thumb swept away my stray tears as he relaxed back into his pillows. His grip on my hand was weakening, and his eyes were starting to droop again, and the solace I'd taken in him being alert enough to stay with me was dwindling.

It was wrong of me to expect strength and stability when he wasn't able. It wasn't fair on him to expect him to do all the talking, all the explaining, and let me get away with the way I'd been acting.

"The little boy at the fountain with the big green eyes, toothy smile and wild hair," I murmured, sweeping my fingers through the hair above Edward's forehead. He tried to focus his eyes on me and I smiled a watery smile down at him. "How did I ever forget you, Edward?"

"It doesn't matter," he answered. "You're marrying the guy I am now, not the boy I was then."

He was right, but it still didn't make it okay. It was far from okay. In fact, it was even a little frightening. How had I forgotten a massive, important chunk of my childhood? Why was my brain malfunctioning to the point of memory loss?

"I didn't belong here and you're a princess. I was never good enough for you…"

His eyes found mine, but there was barely any life in them. He was completely exhausted, confused and riddled with fever. If he hadn't found some lucidity in the middle, I would have put it all down to mindless ramblings.

"Bella…love…" His head rolled to the side and he was silent. On the inside I was hysterical, and I was sure it was that reason why the first thing I thought was that he was dead. I even checked for a pulse. There was seriously something wrong with me.

I sat there disbelieving as pictures and places and smells and sounds all fell into place in my brain. How had all of it escaped me? How had I let myself forget?

Alec's words came back to me, a sentence at a time.

_The young man waiting in there knows just how special you are. Trust your parents, Bella, but trust in yourself more._

_You need to have more faith that all this is real. You just need to remember this all happened._

Then Sue's.

_I remember the days you used to run around this palace, neither of you with a care in the world._

Then Alison's.

_That boy is mad about you._

_He's been waiting for tonight for a very long time._

Then Edwards. Every little thing that was inconsequential before suddenly had new meaning.

_Lord Masen and his wife were kind enough to take me in when they couldn't have children of their own. I believe your parents are the ones I have to thank for ending up as I did._

_Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?_

_I really would be the luckiest man in the world._

_I'm sorry I'm only doing this now._

_I won't let you make a fool of yourself, and I won't let anything happen to you, I promise._

_You do know me, Bella. Better than anyone._

_I hope I don't embarrass myself with admitting that I think I was probably smitten, she was pretty, or at least that's what I thought at the time._

_The last happy memories I have of my mother are in the palace kitchen, and the last happy memories I have of Bella are from running through secret passageways and all the little hideouts we'd made around the grounds._

_All I could think about was how I could never see Bella again._

_I never got to say goodbye to her before I left._

_I love Bella, and I know for a fact that won't ever change. I've been in love with her since I was seven._

_I don't want you to leave._

_I want to marry you._

_Feels good, your being worried about me._

Everything he'd uttered to me right up until earlier that night at the ball, when his sweet, genuine words had blown me away.

_I'm not here to judge you. Bella, nothing you do could be…wrong for me._

_You're you. I don't want you to be anything other than who you are. My friend, my wife, my Queen. I know all of those sides to you will be different, but if they…someday…all feel the same way about me, then nothing could be wrong._

I couldn't hold in the sobs that finally wracked through my body.

He'd been telling the truth all along; I'd made him suffer for weeks with my attitude and hatred towards him. I'd forgotten about him and he was adamant he'd always been in love with me. Coming back and realising I no longer knew him must have hurt so much, but he stayed around, tried to change my mind about him.

But I hadn't _completely_ forgotten him. I'd known his birthday, somewhere deep down inside. I'd known his favourite dessert, too, and it suddenly dawned on me that our swap of chocolate mousse for lemon cake was something we'd done many times before.

Everything about him was true and genuine. He'd remembered my favourite colour and cake after all those years too. He remembered the first day he saw me with perfect clarity, even my soft spot for the chef's homemade ice-cream.

As I thought over everything he'd said and done since arriving in the palace, I became more and more certain that I'd never left his thoughts in the years we'd been apart.

I cried harder, right there in the middle of Edward's bed, angry at myself, angry at the situation. How had I forgotten, why had I let myself block out my best friend? Some of the best parts of my childhood in the palace involved Edward, and my head had ruled them unnecessary baggage.

Edward Cullen – that was his parents' name. Liz and Edward Senior. I could remember her kind face and sparkling green eyes. I could even hear her voice in my head, telling us to run slower, take our time and be careful. I remembered the look she'd get in her eye when she sat us down in the kitchen and made us taste something new. Her excitement would be infectious, and Edward and I would feel like we were in on some state secret.

I didn't remember his father, but I doubt I met him very often, if ever. Edward said both his parents had been present the day he first saw me, but I didn't remember that day. I really was too young. I remembered the day we met with vivid clarity as I sat there in the dark – right down to the sound of the fountain splashing gently beside us when I sat down beside him.

My thoughts drifted to my own parents. They'd made this decision without me, and my father had apologised profusely for it during the ball.

_Your mother and I will never forgive ourselves for not telling you sooner, Isabella, but I hope you know we just want you to be happy._

I wanted to race to their suite in the other wing of the palace and demand answers, but my father was sick too, and Edward had already mentioned him asking my parents not to tell me.

It struck me odd that they'd agree so readily, but that was hardly the most consequential thing of the moment.

They'd had nearly seven years to remind me I had a best friend, a best friend who was destined to marry me. It was all connecting in my head. Edward said my parents played a role in his adoption. I'd never wish losing one's parents on anyone, but it seemed like fate had intervened. It would have been highly questionable for a future Queen to marry a "commoner," but with his adoption came a title, and a right to marry into the royal line.

My parents had made sure he wouldn't want for anything, had looked after him in their own way. They'd known all along that we'd marry one day, that he'd be their future son-in-law and successor.

I tried to quell any anger, reasoning that they'd only ever done the best thing for not only me, but Edward as well, but it stuck anyway.

I could have spent the last weeks getting to know my best friend again; not learning all there was about a stranger and trying not to hate him while fighting my feelings for him.

God, my feelings for him.

They'd grown exponentially over the night, the attraction, the excitement, all of it. But now, I had no idea how to feel. I hadn't been in love with him all those years ago, I was only eleven…was it even possible?

It had all been right there for me to see. My parents had decided to arrange our marriage when he'd been ripped so unceremoniously from my life the first time round. They'd always had my best interests at heart. But why hadn't they told me? Why had they let me believe my best friend had left me and was never coming back?

I swiped my tears away with the back of my hand, steeling my frayed nerves and gathering my chaotic emotions. I had to be strong enough to come to terms with it all. I had to be mature enough to deal with it the way I'd been conditioned to.

I hit myself in the face with my pea when I scrubbed my hair back off my face. It would have been funny if I'd been in the right frame of mind. It literally hit me.

My pea.

The reminder that he'd been real had been there all along.

The green, round, stuffed pea with the jet black eyes and soft black nose.

"_The Princess and the Pea. Get it?" he asked, smiling shyly._

_I did get it. It was my favourite story, and he knew that. He was like that, remembering stuff that wasn't even that important. He was a strange boy, but he was my best friend so it didn't matter. Boys were just weird in general._

"_My own pea?" I asked, hating how stupid and young I sounded. _

_I mean, I was young, and I didn't want to grow up too fast – mother always said I had to make the most of my childhood – but I hated sounding immature around him. He was older and cooler and smarter and I always wanted to be the same. I didn't want him to realise one day that I was just a stupid little girl. I knew I wouldn't like that. I knew _that _would hurt more than anything._

"_What are you going to call him?" he asked, picking blades of grass and chucking them softly at me. I laughed and batted them away from my face._

"_Uh…Pea?" I asked, uncertainty laced in my voice._

"_You're gonna call the pea, Pea?" He laughed, and even though he was laughing at me and it felt bad, I laughed with him. When he stopped, I knew he'd done that weird thing where he'd read my mind or something._

"_Hey, I'm sorry. Pea is cool. Why make it complicated, huh? Least the pea will always know it's a pea…" He scrunched his face up because he knew he was being ridiculous, but it made me laugh and forget about being sad._

"_You bought me a pea…" I said suddenly, not quite believing that a _boy _had gone out and bought something for _me.

He wasn't just any boy though. He was Edward and he was my best friend.

The one thing that tied me to him had never been far away from me. I'd clutched him when I was stressed over my exams. I cuddled him when I phoned home to get updates from Rose and my parents. I slept with him tucked into my duvet when I was upset or sick or scared.

I'd been holding onto Edward throughout everything. In some small way, he'd always been by my side, through the good and the bad.

I just hadn't even realised it.

I watched him sleeping, wondering what he was dreaming about and if he was happy he'd finally told me, that I finally knew.

I wondered if he thought things would change, that somehow we'd be magically fixed in the morning.

I slipped down into the covers and clutched my – _our_ – pea. Maybe when morning came everything _would_ be different. Maybe we could pick up where we left off? Just slip into our old ways and lay everything out there in the open.

I had to grow up. I had to be honest, and I had a lot of explaining to do.

I also had a lot to think about, and the first thing I needed to remember to do was ask the doctor for an appointment. I was so terrified there was something wrong with me that I wanted it checked as soon as possible.

I tried to sleep, but it was futile.

Instead I listened to Edward's breathing, checked his temperature and watched the sun gradually rise above the horizon, its light morning rays spilling softly into the room.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Well, there we have it!**

**Please review, and don't forget to follow me on twitter and my blog for the all important teasers :D**

**Xx**


	11. A Royal Illness

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hello loyal readers! Hope you're all enjoying the run up to Christmas! As an early present, I give you this chapter a week early :D:D **

**Thank you to every single one of you who continue to read and review! I think I managed to reply to everyone this time around, so again, thanks!**

**Onwards!**

**Remember, at the end of the last chapter, Edward gave Bella all the answers she needed to know who he was, but he's also very ill! :(**

**I disclaim.**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – A Royal Illness**

The morning light pouring through the giant windows of Edward's room pierced my eyelids, and I rolled over with a groan.

It was too bright, and it felt like I'd barely fallen asleep when it awakened me.

Even with my eyes closed, it felt like it was burning my retinas, causing way too much pain. It wasn't until I opened them that I realised it wasn't just the light; my head was pounding, and my mouth was dry.

Then I remembered that I hadn't fallen asleep all that long ago, and I remembered the reason why: Edward's confessions.

I turned my head on the pillow, my eyes drinking in the sight of a pale, very still Edward. The sheets around him were soaked with sweat; his hair was plastered to his head, and his skin was clammy. In the short hours I'd been afforded some sleep, whatever was wrong with him seemed to have only gotten worse.

The clock on his bedside table told me it was a little after six, and while it seemed obscenely early to me, I knew the palace would be stirring and that I wouldn't sleep a wink more.

My head was wild with thoughts and emotions, concern for my fiancé overriding anything and everything that I had soaked in the night before. I should have been clued in that worrying for his wellbeing trumped everything else I should have been feeling.

I'd been lied to, for years. I'd been foolish, naïve and stupid. My life had been turned upside down by something I hadn't had a say in and turned again when my parents made a decision without informing me of its consequences.

I couldn't lock myself in the room and hate the world. I couldn't blame everyone for ruining my life the way I wanted to. No, some of it was on me.

I shook my head, thoughts of children's laughter and secret hideaways morphing into all those stolen looks I'd caught Edward sending my way when he thought I wouldn't notice. All the times he'd stuck up for me with wedding details when it seemed no one else was listening. All the times he made me feel special in just one night at the party, despite having the onset of some illness.

I hadn't been blind to any of it; I'd just told myself not to notice, that Edward was the bad guy in the whole situation. I'd been stupid. I'd treated him like he didn't matter, to the point where he believed that maybe he didn't.

Dismissing the fact that I still had the previous night's makeup on, my hair still pinned, and my pyjamas on, I left Edward's suite and made my way to Sue to enquire about a doctor.

The palace had four royal doctors in total, all of whom worked in different hospitals around the capital. The emergency page would be put out and whichever one was closest and least busy would answer. I didn't have a preference myself, liking them all, and knowing them all to be professional.

A few maids seemed startled to see me up so early, and a few of them taken aback by my attire. It was unusual for any members of my family to be in busy parts of the palace in nothing less than our best. Just yet another assumption – that we all wore our best clothes and looked completely put together all the time. The more I thought about it, I realised even Edward hadn't seen me the way I looked that morning.

I found Sue in the foyer signing for a delivery of flowers at the top of the maid's passage to the kitchen. She handed a beautiful bouquet of rainbow-roses and something about them made me call out for the maid in question to stop.

Sue turned at the sound of my voice, smiling until she took in my appearance, her expression morphing into one of concern. Considering I hadn't consulted a mirror before leaving Edward's suite, I could only imagine just how bad I looked.

"Princess?" Sue asked as I neared them, the strong aroma of the roses reaching my nose. I inhaled deeply, the scent permeating my space and setting off familiarities I couldn't place.

"Is there a card on those?" I asked, my voice scratchy from disuse.

Sue smiled again, a different one this time as she reached into the middle of the bouquet and pulled out a sunshine yellow card. She handed it over to me before turning to the young girl by her side.

"Take those up to her Highness' suite and place them away from the window but somewhere the sun will still reach them," she instructed. From the corner of my eye I saw the girl curtsey before disappearing down the back stairs to the maid's corridors.

With the instructions for them to be taken to my suite, I knew they were for me, but something inside me told me I already knew who they were from.

_To my beautiful fiancée, thank you for the pleasure of your company last night, I am honoured to stand by your side._

_Yours always, Edward x_

My heart thumped out of rhythm at his beautiful words and his almost as beautiful handwriting. He must have ordered them before our engagement party, which made me wonder where he continually found the faith that things would turn out okay between us. Especially considering how long I'd spent shutting him out and pushing him away.

"Sue, Edward is getting worse. Please tell the doctor to come as quickly as he can, I fear it's worse than we originally thought."

My voice broke, and before I realised what was happening, Sue had her arms around me, and I was fighting to hold in my tears. It wasn't just that he was ill and that I was beyond worried for him. I'd barely slept; I held a beautiful note in my hand from the gorgeous man I was going to marry, but above all that, I held all the memories that same gorgeous man shared with me as my best friend all those years before. It was all too much at one time, and I gave up fighting it, letting Sue lead me to the nearest chaise lounge against the wall.

With one arm still around my shoulders, I heard her speaking to someone on the phone, asking for a doctor urgently because the Princess' fiancé was in a bad way. The concern and urgency in her voice brought about a new wave of tears, and I felt like a little girl again as she comforted me the way she always had.

She may have been hired by my parents, but as the head of our household staff since before I was born, she was like another part of my family. Just like Alec, I thought of her as a surrogate parent whom I knew I could always turn to.

"Shh, Bella, you're okay. Edward will be okay, honey, you've got to calm down…"

It took a few minutes of awkward breathing and pathetic sounding hiccups for me to get myself under control.

"I forgot, Sue. I didn't know he was…that he's…"

_My Edward_ was what I wanted to say, but the words got lodged in my throat. I didn't have any claim on him after the way I'd treated him for weeks. I had no right to call him mine when I only knew who he was because of his fever induced confession.

"Shh, sweetie, it's okay. He'll understand. When he gets better, you'll have all the time in the world. You need to look after him first though. _He _needs _you_ right now; you need to decide what to do."

She looked at me softly, tucking an escaped piece of hair behind my right ear as her eyes searched mine.

It was my turn to step up and do the right thing by him. All this time he'd been by my side despite my behaviour, making me look good, doing the right thing by me and by our country in a way. Sue was right; n ow was my chance to choose for myself – without anyone else interfering.

I either stuck by him, thereby choosing him to be my husband and my King, or I continued to follow through with my plan to get my father to change his mind.

It wasn't a difficult decision, when I thought about it enough; I'd already made my mind up. It had only taken a few hours of undiluted time with Edward the previous night for him to get me to fall in love with him. He hadn't even been trying, not any more than usual. I just opened my eyes to what he was really like underneath and had no choice but to fall for what I found.

"Bring the doctor up to Edward's suite as soon as he arrives. I'll be up there with him if anyone should need me. Also, could you get someone to inform my parents of his deterioration and inquire as to how my father is doing?"

Sue smiled, almost secretly, before nodding her head and allowing us to resume our roles. I was the heir to the throne of this palace and country, and she was the head of my household. It was time for me to grow up and use my education in getting things done.

"Of course, Princess, I'll do it myself." With a curtsy, Sue left the same way the maid had. I turned on my heel and headed back up the grand staircase, taking a left, a right and another right before I found myself in front of Edward's door.

With a deep breath I pushed it open and headed inside. The warmth from the sunlight had made the air almost stifling inside the large room, and I crossed the plush carpet to open all three windows as wide as I could. The breeze that floated in calmed my nerves and my thoughts as I turned and made my way back into the bedroom and over to Edward.

The duvet was scrunched around his waist, his arm hanging off the edge of the bed and his head turned as far into the pillow as he could manage as if he was in pain.

Quickly making my way into his en-suite I soaked a face-cloth with cold water, wrung out the excess droplets and carried it back into the bedroom. I perched myself on the edge of the mattress causing Edward to groan at the intrusion, his head rolling to face me.

Carefully and gently, I folded the cloth and placed it on his forehead, hoping the shock of the cold material would wake him up, but he only twitched in his sleep and groaned again.

His whole body was radiating heat; so much so, I could feel it from my safe distance. As I held the cloth to his forehead, pressing slightly to get the cold to permeate his heated skin, my eyes slid down over his face.

Even with his hair matted, his beard coming through more than ever, and the dark circles under his eyes, he was still incredibly handsome. There was something in the slight crookedness and bump in his nose, the straight lines of his jaw and his unsymmetrical eyebrows that added up to a near perfect face. When we'd first met – _again_, I reminded myself – his skin had held the lasting effects of sunnier climes, which had lasted through his time at the palace, but as I looked down on him, he just looked sick.

I'd had enough experiences at boarding school to know that when someone looked sick, they really were. Something was wreaking havoc on his body, and I was helpless to stop it. I'd never felt so useless, sitting there with a cool cloth on his head and a hand on his chest to measure his heart rate.

Despite the circumstances, I was powerless to stop my eyes from falling lower, taking in his neck, his broad shoulders and his sculpted chest and stomach. I'd never previously realised just how broad he was; how much bigger than me he was until he'd held me the night before, the strength in his arms and shoulders making me feel safe and secure, even when he was weak.

I spent the next hour, sitting there, trying to keep his temperature down while he slept restlessly through his fever. It was nearing eight when a knock sounded at the door, and Sue made her way in with Doctor Reynolds behind her.

Benjamin Reynolds was the youngest of the Royal doctors, with kind brown eyes, short brown hair and a smile that would set anyone at ease. He bowed slightly when he noticed my presence before asking if he could check over Edward himself.

It wasn't until his eyes flitted down to where my hand was tightly clasping Edward's that I realised I hadn't moved since his arrival in the room, and my stance was almost protective. I reluctantly relaxed my fingers and took a step back towards the double oak doors that led from the bedroom to the living room.

Sue's hand landed on my hip, and she squeezed once as a sort of reassurance as we both watched Doctor Reynolds work in silence. The longer he took, the more he did, and the more his brow furrowed in either concern or concentration, the quicker my heart raced, and the more my entire body trembled.

He took his blood pressure, checked his pupils, listened to his heart, felt his pulse, checked his temperature and more that I couldn't even name before taking out his pager and sending some sort of message.

"What's wrong? Who are you talking to?" I asked him, the panic clear in my voice.

"I've paged the hospital, your Highness. I believe it's best that your fiancé be taken in."

"What! Why? What's wrong with him?"

"It's hard to say, Your Highness, I don't want to misdiagnose him, but he is definitely suffering from more than flu. His pupils are unresponsive, and his pulse seems to be getting weaker. I'd feel much more comfortable if I had him somewhere I can keep an eye on him."

"You mean if something should happen you want him to already be in a hospital, what aren't you telling me?!"

"Princess." Came Sue's warning. I knew I was taking my distress out on the wrong person, but I couldn't help but feel like he was keeping something from me.

"Your Highness, I apologise. We know each other quite well, if you'll allow me to speak freely?"

"Of course, Ben, please tell me what's wrong."

"I genuinely can't diagnose him here and now, but if you don't allow me to get him to hospital where we can run more tests, I am afraid he may only deteriorate."

"Okay, yes, of course, but in what way can he get worse?"

"Bluntly, Your Highness? Anything from brain damage to paralysis. This is as serious as it gets, Your Highness, I'm sorry."

Sue's hands on my arms seemed to be the only thing keeping me standing.

"We're getting married in less than a month…why is this happening?" My question didn't require an answer, but Ben seemed to need to put my mind at ease.

"I will do everything to get him down the aisle in time, Your Highness. There is no need for him to get any worse; I was only preparing you for the worst. If it is Meningitis, or something similar, then he can be treated accordingly."

I tuned everything out after that. It seemed only minutes later that two paramedics arrived with a stretcher and transferred Edward on to it. They didn't seem fazed at all as they took him back through the palace, out into the courtyard and into a private ambulance. The staff stood in shock as we made our way passed them, and before I climbed in, Rose and my mother came running down the stairs.

"We'll be right behind you, darling. He'll be okay, I promise."

I didn't want to sound like a bitch by telling her she couldn't promise such a thing, especially when our relationship hadn't recovered from my previous behaviour. I only nodded at her before sitting in the back, holding Edward's hand tightly in mine. Sue passed a bag with clothes and toiletries in it, reminding me that I was still in my pyjamas and last night's make-up.

The journey through the city, in the middle of its rush hour, didn't seem to take long at all. I spent the entire time staring at Edward, willing him to open his eyes and show me the life that I knew was in those green depths.

I didn't get my wish. We were at the hospital, unloaded from the ambulance, and he was whisked away from me before I could even comprehend saying goodbye to him. He was in some room being poked and prodded and checked and talked about by strangers, and all I could do was sit in an empty waiting room, alone and cold, awaiting the news that my future husband would be perfectly fine, that it was all a misunderstanding and that his flu was just really bad.

Meningitis was fatal in certain circumstances. Doctor Reynolds had said "meningitis or something similar." That meant that even if it wasn't, it could be something worse…or just as fatal.

Knowing I was alone, that I didn't have to be strong when there was no one watching, I let the tears fall and the fear take me over. Perhaps the time I'd had with him was my lot; perhaps it was fate's way of telling me I'd wasted my opportunity, that we'd had our chance.

By the time my mother arrived, perfectly made up, I was numb on the outside and crumbling too quickly to rebuild on the inside. She moulded me to her side and held me, much like Sue had earlier that morning, telling me everything was going to be okay and making promises she couldn't keep.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Oh em gee, what have I done? And a week before Christmas as well? :O**

**Review please, let me know what you think and how you're feeling! :D**

**See you soon.**

**Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Be safe!**

**xx**


	12. How Do We Know?

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all! Hope you all had a fabulous Christmas and a Happy New Year!**

**I managed to reply to you all this time around, so if you didn't recieve a reply then it's cause your PMs are disabled or you were a guest!**

**I have to say a quick but MASSIVE thank you to Missus T - she recc'd this little story of mine during last week & over 400 of you floated over to give me a look! HELLO TO ALL THE NEWBIES, thank you for favouriting this :):)**

**Thank you to my beta, _storypainter,_ too, cause she got this back to me super quick with migraines and everything! :)**

**Onwards!**

**I disclaim.**

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**CHAPTER 12 – How Do We Know?**

The hours seemed endless as I sat staring at the wall, hoping and praying for any news on my fiancé's health. Since she'd arrived at the hospital, my mother had been busy with press statements and damage control in the media, setting up in one of the doctor's offices to do her work from there.

I probably should have been taking an interest in what she was doing, how she was doing it and what needed to be said, but my mind was too preoccupied to try and possibly fit in anything else. Rose sat quietly by my side, bless her she must have been so bored, and the only thing that made me look up from either the cheap plastic floor or the haphazardly painted wall was the entrance of a nurse, doctor, or Alice when she arrived in a flurry.

"Bella! I can't believe it took me so long to get here. I'm so sorry! I thought after the ball last night that a lie-in was expected of everyone! I didn't hear what happened until I ran into Sue in the kitchens! Jasper got me here as soon as he could."

As she sat beside me, I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, wondering just how close her and Jasper had become overnight.

"Did he ride you here on a horse?" Rosalie snorted from my other side.

Alice looked bashful as she smiled at my little sister, remembering too late the crush I'd informed her Rosalie had been harbouring for years.

"I got here as quickly as I could," Alice answered instead. "How is he? What's happening?"

I shook my head, tired and thankful for my friend's arrival as she looped her arm through mine and squeezed.

"They took him away when we arrived. I haven't seen him or Ben since."

"But that was hours ago!"

I held her back when I felt her pulling away from me.

"We've all tried Alice, there's no use. We might be royalty, but they aren't telling us anything. We're just another family when we're in here. They don't need to treat us differently."

"I suppose if they're too busy looking after Edward to come and tell us anything, it's a good thing. At least we know he's in the best hands." Rosalie's voice floated softly from where she'd moved to the other side of the waiting room.

I looked up and found her staring longingly at the door, as if wishing it to open.

"They won't let anything happen to him," she said next, conviction lacing her tone as she nodded to herself and looked back at me. In that moment I came to realise that, somehow, his coming back to us was as important to her as it was to me.

Alice was next to speak, her eyes boring into the side of my head as if willing me to believe their words. "This is Edward, Bella. He's a fighter."

"How would you know? How do any of us know? I'm marrying him for Christ's sake and I barely know a thing about him!" I shouted in response, shame colouring my face as I realised it was not them I should be taking my anger out on.

"We know, Bella. _You know._ He stood by your side in front of all those people last night just so he wouldn't let you down. He held your hand and danced with you and made you both look admirable in the eyes of all your peers despite feeling like he would collapse at any moment. That man would fight harder than anything to open his eyes and see your face again. You know that more than I do. You can't keep denying what you see. It's obvious to us all how much he cares about you. This arrangement may not have started the conventional way, but it sure as hell will end that way."

I stared at my best friend and my sister, who sat quietly, nodding her head, agreeing with Alice and realised that neither of them knew the truth. Probably the only two people in the palace who didn't know who Edward really was, and they believed more than anyone that he was right for me.

Tears pricked at my eyes as my stupidity once again washed over me.

With a deep breath, I answered her the only way I knew how. "He was telling the truth. He's always been telling the truth."

At Alice's puzzled gaze, I launched into the story of Edward and Bella, barely keeping myself together as I recounted the truth. How we'd met as young children, how the story we'd told the reporter was true, how Edward's tale wasn't falsified but based on a childhood relationship he'd kept faith in all these years.

Rosalie moved from her spot and came to sit down at my feet, resting her head on my knees as if she was a little girl again, and I was telling her a fairytale.

I told them of Edward's worsening condition during the night and his confessions to me. I wiped my tears away as I recounted my fear of why I had forgotten, let my emotions pour out of me as we sat there awaiting news that the man I was to marry would be okay.

All three of us were in tears by the time my mother arrived back in the waiting room, so quietly that I got a fright when she placed her arm around my shoulder. I sank into her warmth and let her comfort me the way only a mother can, with my hand on Rosalie's hair, and my other clasped in Alice's.

A little while later, my mother broke the silence in the room by speaking up.

"I've released a statement with your name on it, Isabella. I have simply said that the doctors aren't sure what is wrong with Edward, but they are keeping an eye on him to be safe. I also hinted that he was fine, and that we were all calm about his wellbeing. I hope that by the time we leave this hospital and have to face them, that Edward is awake and perfectly fine."

We all knew it was a slight reach in hope, but I let it go unnoticed, wishing the same thing in my heart.

"How's Dad?" I asked, remembering after a few moments of silence that he too had to leave the ball early. My heart rate spiked as worry set in, and I snatched my head back to look at my mother.

"He's okay, baby. Just the flu, don't worry about him. I spoke to him on the phone a little while ago, he'd eaten and taken a bath and was back in bed to regain his strength. You can call him if you want. He'd love to hear from you."

I nodded. "Maybe a little later, when I know what's going on with Edward," I answered quietly, relief that my father wasn't suffering the same fate washing over me.

She nodded and smiled faintly at me, exhaustion and sadness etched into the fine lines around her eyes and mouth.

"I'm sorry I was so horrid to you," I blurted, causing her to laugh shortly.

"Baby, it's okay. If your father and I had just sat down and told you all this years ago, none of this would have happened." She sighed again.

"Why didn't you? Why was he never mentioned? Or spoken about? Why were the Masens never invited back to the palace?"

"At first, you were so quiet, so unlike the happy little girl you were. We didn't want to make it harder by making you talk about it. Then as the months went by and you started all your different lessons, you seemed to come around again. After a year, then two, _you _didn't mention him. We were foolish, Isabella, we thought it was what you wanted. We'd never had a teenage girl before…I know that's no excuse, but we thought you were happy without him around, finally. We had no idea you'd forgotten he ever existed. If we'd known that we would have sat you down, made you talk about him, made you talk about your separation.

"We have no excuses, but when you went off to school, the years just seemed to fly by. Suddenly Edward had graduated university, had himself a respectable degree, was integrated into his new family and new life, and it was time for him to come back.

"We always thought he'd be the best match for you. We never imagined that when the day came you wouldn't want him anymore…"

"It wasn't that I didn't want him, mother, I had no idea who he was! Can't you imagine what it was like? Being told, out of the blue that you had to be married, and that your parents had chosen your husband years before without ever telling you?!"

She nodded again, squeezing my hand tightly in hers.

"I see that now. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry that you're so young, but we wouldn't be asking this of you if we didn't think you were capable. It's time for you to shadow your father's footsteps, Isabella; we want you to be as ready as you can be when the time comes…"

I hugged her to me tightly, a weight off my chest at having talked things over with her.

"I'm sorry I behaved the way I did. I shouldn't have acted out. You taught me better than that."

"Let all be forgiven, baby, there are much more important things to be concerned about right now."

I nodded into her shoulder, my tears getting the better of me as my thoughts returned to Edward's current condition.

"What's happening to him, Mum?" It wasn't very often I called her anything other than "mother," but sometimes the term slipped out, and when it did, the fact that we were royalty, or that she was Queen ceased to matter.

"I don't know, baby, but he'll be okay. He's a fighter that one…"

Alice chuckled from my other side, and I pulled back with a small smile. My mother's eyebrows lifted, wondering where the sudden amusement had come from before Alice spoke up.

"I told you, Bella. He'll be okay, for_ you_."

The door swung open just as I smiled at Alice, and at the sight of Ben, his blue scrubs adorning his body instead of his suit, it dropped from my face, my heart doing the same in my chest.

I sprung from my chair and wrapped my arms around my middle as if to keep me together.

"Isabella." He nodded at me. "Your Highness," he greeted my mother with a slight bow.

"Ben…h-how is he?"

"It took us a while to get test results back, I'm sorry for your wait. We needed to know exactly what was wrong with him before giving him the right course of antibiotics and medication."

"He'll be okay then?"

"I'm afraid, although he is being treated now; he is still in bad shape. I originally thought it could be meningitis, which itself can be incredibly dangerous if untreated, but we believe now that he is actually suffering from an acute strain of Tuberculosis."

Ben stared at me, as if willing me to believe why he looked so grave, but my muddled brain couldn't comprehend what I was hearing.

"TB? You're trying to tell me my fiancé has the black plague? In the twenty-first century?" I couldn't hide the tone of disbelief and mocking in my voice. He had to be joking.

"Isabella," my mother's voice rang out as she stepped up beside me.

"I know you're worried, Princess, but TB isn't nearly as serious as the black plague. While they both still exist, your fiancé will not succumb to black plague in my care. Although documented similarly in history, they are in fact different diseases," Ben explained before continuing in a softer tone.

"I'm afraid, even now; Tuberculosis is still one of the world's deadliest diseases. Fortunately, Edward is where he needs to be and being treated accordingly. The infection, caused by a bacteria called Mycobacterium, is affecting his lungs and also his kidneys, which is what was causing the exhaustion, loss of breath and the fever. We've managed to bring his fever down considerably since he was admitted, which is a good sign."

"But…how can he have TB? He's been in the palace for weeks…he's been fine for weeks!" My voice was rising in pitch as the confusion continued to wreak havoc on my already exhausted brain.

"This particular strain of the infection can lay dormant for years; it could be that he picked it up on his travels during school or university. We typically say that for a case like Edward's he now has 'Active TB,' as the bacteria has changed its state from dormant to active. There really is nothing that could have been done before now. He is in safe hands, Princess."

"I…can I see him?"

"I'm afraid not." Ben shook his head and my heart clenched painfully in my chest as tears pricked at my eyes.

"Until we know for sure that the infection is under control, we can't let anyone come in contact with him. He is being kept in isolation for the next twenty-four hours, at least."

When I didn't answer him, my mother thanked him for doing his best and for letting us know how Edward was. Whenever Ben left the room, letting us know that we could find him for anything, I collapsed back onto my chair, tears pouring from my eyes.

"What's all this, Bella? You heard him, and he's getting better already…he'll be okay…" Alice sat beside me, talking to me in a soothing voice, but it didn't seem to help.

"We don't know that! I need to see him…he's in there on his own! There's no one with him, I need to be in there with him!"

I wasn't sure why I was suddenly so hysterical, nor did the rest of my company. Maybe it was a culmination of all the day's events, the lack of sleep, the emotional night, and the heaping of information I had to come to terms with all at the same time.

I suddenly felt far older than I was, like I had witnessed a hundred years instead of just my sheltered eighteen. The world wasn't being fair, throwing it all at me at the same time, but then I remembered one of my father's favourite phrases when he was teaching me the ways of our country.

"It's a test of one's true character if they can face everything at once and still come out on top. There will be times, sweetie, when you can't see the top, but if you keep your head about you, everything will work out in the end."

With a shuddering breath I pulled myself together. I thanked Alice as I took her proffered tissue and mopped at the mess underneath my eyes, sure that the previous night's makeup was streaked down my face.

I was proven right when Alice dug around in her bag before producing a pack of moist wipes and helping me rid myself of the panda eyes and black streaks that adorned my cheeks.

With one last squeeze of my mother's hand and a faint smile at my sister's questioning gaze, I left the waiting room with my head held high. The sterile quietness that surrounded me, had me wrapping my arms around my middle once again as I followed sounds to the nurses' station at the bottom of the corridor.

One of the two noticed me on my approach, and as I got nearer, her eyes widened as she realised just who was about to speak to her. The other girl had her back to me, cackling over some joke, but quickly stopped when her companion whacked her arm with the back of her hand.

"Your Highness, what can I do for you?" the first girl asked me sweetly, her face showing just how young she was. I admired her in that moment, doing the job she did on a, no-doubt, daily basis; the last hours had shown me just how much I wouldn't have been able to be in her shoes.

"I'm looking for Dr. Reynolds," I answered politely, hiding the shake in my voice.

"I think he's in his office, would you like me to get him for you?"

"No, could you show me the way? Or let me know how to get there if you're busy," I answered with a smile.

Her cheeks flamed – for what reason I couldn't imagine – before she nodded and led me in the opposite direction in which I had come.

The staff we passed on our way all reacted much the same way, with widening realisation on their faces and respectful head-bows as I passed them. A policeman stationed outside one private room even removed his hat as I walked by, and I couldn't help but smile warmly at him.

We soon arrived at Ben's office, and through the window I could see him sitting at his desk, his head in his hands and his fingers massaging his temples.

The girl knocked for me, and I let myself in as she disappeared down the corridor we had come.

"Your Highness, what can I do for you?"

He stood as I made my way over to him, but I waved him off with my hand as I sat in the chair opposite his desk.

"None of that, Ben, it's just Bella," I answered him. He smiled at me almost bashfully as he sat back down, pulling himself closer to his desk so he could rest his elbows on the edge.

"I need to see him," I started. He made to interrupt me, but I held up my hand again. "I know what you said, and I respect your concern and opinion, but I can't leave him on his own, not when we don't know how long it will take for the infection to clear. Isn't there anything you can do?"

Ben stared at me, appraising me almost, and his eyes searched mine for something I hoped he would find. I didn't realise I was holding my breath until he moved his hand towards his phone and nodded his head almost imperceptibly.

"Julia, how many nurses are on rotation for Lord Masen?"

It took me a moment to realise he was talking about Edward. Although he was always introduced as such, and that was, in fact, his proper title, it didn't feel right to me. He was Edward. He was my Edward as I had learned, but he wasn't high and mighty or stuck up like his title suggested. He was just sweet, caring, loyal and down-to-earth Edward.

My train of thought surprised me as I sat in Ben's comfortable office. Edward was _just_ Edward. There was nothing to be afraid of, or to measure or guess at.

"Can you take Lucy off for me? No, she hasn't done anything wrong. I'd just like to spend more time with him myself, and there's no point in wasting her talent. Yes, thank you. Also, could you store her suit with mine? I'll be needing it…thank you."

I was beyond confused by the time he hung up, having only heard his side of the conversation.

"Seeing as it's you, I won't bother telling you when visiting times are, as I'm sure you'll only fight me on that too…"

I giggled slightly, knowing he was right.

"Only you can see him. You won't be able to have anyone in there with you, and you cannot leave that room without supervision. If and when you want to leave, you'll need to press the call button, and either one of the nurses or I will come and escort you out.

"He's in an isolation ward, Bella, I cannot stress how important it is that you follow the rules to a tee. They are there for his safety…and yours."

I nodded, slightly disbelieving that I was being allowed in at all. In some small way, that was my first test at negotiating what was right for me and for my fiancé. It was nothing like running a country, but it gave me a slight sense of accomplishment.

"When can I go in?"

"I'll take you to him now," Ben answered me with a smile. One that made me slightly uncomfortable because it spoke of way more than I was ready to acknowledge, things he saw when he looked at me that I wasn't sure I was ready to admit to myself.

Instead I composed myself, fixed my hair back into the grips at the back of my head, and followed him out of his office. My heart rate was flying at the thought of seeing my fiancé again, but what felt like a lead ball in the bottom of my stomach reminded me that he was incredibly ill, and that the next couple of days were going to be some of the most important in our lives.

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**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**Sooo, what do we think? Reviews make me happy :D:D**

**Remember, if you want teasers for each chapter you can follow my blog over at www . liveindakota . blogspot . com or you can find me on twitter under my RL name SarahhhhhhJane :):) I do like new followers ;)**

**See you all soon! x**


	13. Isolation

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**So I want to say thank you. I always do, but the last chapter got the most amount of reviews I've ever received for a single chapter! You continue to grow in numbers and encouragement and I'm blown away by you all.**

**Someone also nominated me for fic of the week over at The Lemonade Stand. I want to thank them - whoever they were - and to everyone who then voted over the three days. Sadly I was up against some steep competition, but being there at all was fabulous.**

**At the end of the last chapter, Bella made up her mind that no matter whether he was unconscious or not, Edward shouldn't be alone. Yay, go girl!**

**Onwards, I disclaim as always!**

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**Chapter 13 – Isolation**

"Ben?" I spoke up after minutes of silence as we made our way back to Edward's room.

He turned to look at me as he picked up a clipboard from the top of the nurse's station we'd stopped at.

Seeming to know that I needed a few minutes to actually say what I wanted, he waved his hand, signalling me to walk first.

"I need to go over a few things before you can go in to see him," he explained when he ushered me into what looked sort of like an anti-room. There was an observation window looking into a private suite – Edward's private suite – and a door, but being on the same wall as the bed, I couldn't see Edward from where we were standing.

"Ben, how did he contract TB? Don't we all get immunised?" I asked, the thought having occurred to me earlier in the waiting room.

"I won't be entirely sure until I speak to his parents, but according to his records he never had one. Which is highly unusual, especially for someone travelling like he did."

I nodded, not sure what to say, biting my lip as I contemplated my next question. In my head, I reasoned that he was a doctor, but not only that, he was a friend. He wouldn't judge me or go running off to anyone spilling my inner most secrets or worries.

"What's bothering you, Bella?" he asked kindly.

"Edward and I…we…I slept in his bed last night to make sure he would be okay…does that make me at risk?"

Ben looked surprised but in a way that screamed 'that wasn't what I was expecting you to say.'

"Did you get your TB shot?" he asked.

"Yes, I think."

"Then you should be fine. I can test you anyway if you want?"

With a small smile I nodded my head before looking longingly through the window.

"I hope I'm not overstepping my mark, but he's lucky to have someone like you to care for him, Bella. You're facing this with more decorum than I could ever hope to manage."

I only smiled faintly in return.

I'd been wondering how I was managing to hold it together myself.

What had given me the sudden push to hold my head up high and deal with things rather than act out and complain that life wasn't being fair to me?

I'd come to the conclusion that it was all Edward's fault. There was something about him being around that made me – finally – want to be somewhat better. Once I realised who he was, to me and in general, I didn't want to be the immature little spoiled princess I'd been acting out so well in the previous weeks.

It made me queasy, thinking about the way he'd seen me behave; the things he'd heard me say; the 'decorum' I certainly hadn't shown then. How could he possibly want anything to do with me after returning and finding out just who I had become, or who he thought I had become? I'd been brought up better than that, never mind being in line for the throne. I'd always been taught to act civilly and always give thought to others. That had completely flown out the window when I'd been faced with Edward and the "situation."

Now it all just seemed like an epic waste of time. Edward was lying in a hospital bed, severely ill, and completely unaware of the things that were changing in me.

I finally decided it was the fear of him changing his mind – of deciding he didn't want me anymore – that was driving my need to step up and prove myself, both _to_ him and _for_ him.

"Let's get scrubbed up shall we, and I'll take you in." I snapped out of my thoughts as Ben spoke up, finally putting Edward's chart down.

He took me through the procedure, describing it as what surgeons went through before surgery. I had to wash my hands thoroughly and even disinfect my bare arms having left my coat in the waiting room. I was then given clean scrubs, paper shoes to put over my own, and a sort of hairnet to contain my previously tumbling locks. Even Ben had to change from his shirt and trousers, despite only going to be in the room for a matter of minutes, and as I watched him wash his hands again, the gravity of the situation sunk in.

"Why do we do all this?" I asked timidly, unsure if it was a stupid question or not.

"His immune system will be very weak. We have him on a cocktail of drugs to combat what his body is going through, but he's in isolation for his own safety as well as the chance that someone else may be affected by the superbug. You can't take any risks, Bella. I trust you to remember that. It's risky enough that I'm letting another foreign body into his containment area."

I nodded my head. I knew what he was doing for me, for Edward, and I would remember to show my gratitude at a later date.

There weren't any fancy doors or air locks or anything I'd envisioned in my head, and I felt foolish when Ben just opened the normal door and walked into the room.

For some reason I was nervous. I hadn't really thought through my actions when I'd made my way to Ben's office, but this was the important part. I was going in there to be there for Edward; I was making my choice, long before we made any vows: for better or worse.

This was my moment to prove to everyone that I was worthy of the affection he'd been trying to show me for weeks. The only downside, the thing that made my hands shake and my heart seize in my chest, was that Edward wasn't conscious to know it. What if he was one of those people who didn't want the help of others, or who didn't like a fuss, or didn't like other people seeing him sick?

I knew it was a much graver situation than that, but I didn't know him well enough to know if he'd really even want me there, and no matter what I thought about him, I couldn't get that one niggling thought to leave me alone.

"Isabella?" Ben's voice floated back to where I was still stood in the small room, rooted to the spot, my eyes glued to the foot of Edward's bed; the only part that I could see from my vantage point.

I met his concerned gaze and found understanding rather than judgement.

Taking a step closer to me, he spoke again with a slight smile on his face. "You know in movies, when everyone talks to the unconscious guy, and you're sitting there like, 'what's the point?'"

I nodded, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"It's not a myth, Bella. It really does help: the sound of a familiar voice, the feel of a familiar hand, even the scent of something familiar to a patient can be enough to ground them to reality. Whether they're in a coma or just recovering from surgery, they do know there's someone there for them. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? For Edward to know that he wasn't alone?"

I nodded again.

"There's nothing to be scared of. I promise we're doing our best to help him recover; all that's left is your part. Talk to him, tell him what you're thinking about, how you're feeling or even just tell him about the last holiday you went on. I can promise you the sound of your voice will help."

"How do you know?" I asked quietly, expecting exasperation, instead receiving patience and kindness.

"I was at the ball last night, Princess, and anyone with eyes can see how much you mean to him."

I froze, shocked at his candid comment, but thankful for it all the same.

"You were?" I asked instead, a small smile overtaking both our lips.

"Your mother extended the invitation, and I kindly accepted. It's not often an everyday person gets to attend a royal ball." He chuckled lowly, scratching at the stubble on his jaw.

"My family considers you a loyal friend, Ben. You should know that by now," I answered him, slowly edging my way into the room to stand beside him. "You've looked after us enough times by now, but it's not just your skill you're appreciated for, my father has a bit of a soft spot for you…"

His cheeks flushed slightly, and I giggled at his reaction.

Ben's eyes flicked over my shoulder, and I turned automatically, worried something was wrong, forgetting my nerves and my insecurities.

It wasn't until later I realised that was probably his intention all along.

There, buried under wires, tubes, a hospital gown and the duvet cover, was Edward.

He looked worse than he had that morning, but his hair had somehow been tamed and he looked peaceful. The tubes, no doubt, doing everything for him to let his body recover.

I paused. I wasn't sure what to do, where to sit, what to say. Ben might have been trying to help by telling me my mere presence might be enough, but there was a sort of pressure in the oppressive silence of the room only decorated by quiet beeps from the dozen or so machines.

A much louder beep from behind me jolted me back to the present, and I turned to find Ben checking the pager clipped to his belt.

"I need to get going. One of my patients has woken up. If you need anything at all, Bella, just press the assistance button above his bed. It won't activate an emergency or anything, don't worry."

With that he turned on his heel and disappeared back through the door. Through the window, I watched as he changed back into his clothes and scrubbed his hands. For the two or three minutes he was in the room, it seemed like an awful effort, and I wondered how long the ritual would go on. With so much else to ask and clear up, no one had actually asked how long Edward would be like he was.

Would he wake up soon? Would he be chatty and his normal self and just be kept in for observation? Or would he be unconscious for a long time while his body fought off the attack it was undergoing?

I made up my own mind that if it was as bad as the doctors had made out, it would probably be a while before he was healthy enough to sit up and talk. Although, he was an otherwise healthy person, strong, athletic, maybe he'd fight it off quickly.

I didn't know his routine or his diet, but I had noticed he liked to go out for a run in the mornings before breakfast. I'd seen him countless times coming back in or setting off to the lake and the outer grounds in his t-shirt, shorts and earphones in. I had been tempted to join him one morning, boredom having overtaken me before breakfast was even served, but I hadn't been sure how that particular suggestion would have been received.

Knowing what I knew now, I doubted it would have been a no. Something told me any chance to spend more time together would have been something Edward would have jumped at.

I wandered over to the window and looked out onto the city. The streets were quiet again, rush hour having come and gone in the time we'd been inside. The sun was high in the sky and glinting off the nearby skyscrapers of the financial district, and I could just make out the pattern of two separate sirens as first one, then a second ambulance pulled up in front of the emergency department below me.

People were rushing to get the doors open and the patients within into the hospital as quickly as possible, juxtaposed beside the cluster of patients and visitors standing idly by, smoking just to the side of the doors.

Hospitals were strange places with so many different people and so many different stories all intertwining at once. For example, how many of those people down there knew what the photographers on the other side of the ambulance bay were actually there for? Did they know their future king was lying in an isolation ward? Or did they just ignore it, having celebrity and fame pass them by every day in such a city?

I turned away from them, thankful my mother had dealt with the press on my behalf, and that the news wouldn't make the papers until the evening editions. No doubt it was on the rolling news channels, but I didn't want to hear about myself or my relationship or my upcoming wedding from strangers.

My eyes settled on Edward's handsome features, and I felt myself relax slightly.

I didn't want to hear it because all they'd talk about would be the shadow such a situation would cast on my wedding. We were to be married in three weeks, and here Edward was, dangerously ill and fighting for his life.

There would be no wedding in three weeks.

With the chair on the other side of the room, I perched lightly on the edge of the bed and just stared – at Edward, at the wall, at my fingernails.

Ben said talk, but now that I was facing the silence alone, I wasn't sure what to say.

"I didn't bring any grapes…I mean, you're supposed to bring something when you visit someone in hospital, but I wasn't really prepared, what with this morning and everything…I guess I could go get you some things later, like, if you're in here for a while or whatever…

"I don't even know where you keep your stuff…I hope you won't mind someone going through your room, like if I get you a photo frame, or a favourite thing…not that I'd even know what that was. I don't know anything about you…and yet, you seem to know so much about me.

"I could bring you Pea…I mean, it sounds stupid, but he's as much yours as he is mine…I remembered, you know, the Pea thing. I remember you giving me him, the day, the reason…it all just came back to me, just like that. It's weird, being bombarded with things you never should have forgotten.

"It's scary too…why did I forget? What's wrong inside my head that I just forget an entire chunk of my childhood? That I forgot you? That I didn't even remember you the second I saw you again…or heard your name…it terrifies me actually…

"Please get better quickly Edward…I've never been one for filling silences, or talking to myself. I'd much rather talk to you. I love the sound of your voice, I've never told you that of course, but I do. It's just soft…like sort of gentle, that even if you were mad at me, which I'm sure you've been countless times in the past months, I could never imagine your voice being rough or harsh. It's nice…comforting…probably a lot more so than mine, God, it's probably causing you more pain to hear me ramble on, I have no idea whether you like my voice.

"I have no idea what you like about me actually. I mean, I'm not being vain and assuming there's anything, I just mean, everyone has something they like about someone they know. Take Alice, I love her hair. It's always shiny and pretty. Or Rose, she's so much smarter than I was at that age. Or Sue, I love her lasagne…like double love…"

I giggled lightly, and I caught myself off guard. Was I crazy? Sitting there rambling on to someone who couldn't hear me, laughing at my own jokes? I was ever thankful I was in there on my own, and that no one could hear me.

"So yeah…I wonder what that one thing is, even if it's dumb, like the fact that I'd rather read than throw myself out of plane. Although, you probably don't even know that. You haven't seen me since I was eight…we're not the same people we were then…not by a long shot.

"God, I wish you were awake, I feel so stupid sitting here talking to myself. Please just wake up, Edward, I need you to wake up. I don't want to be alone for much longer…"

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

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	14. Begin Again

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**Sorry for the delay - again - but it's been a busy few months at uni!**

**You may be happy to know I have finished my second year - except for a few exams in a couple of weeks - and I have moved home. For those of you who've been with me for a number of years now, you know that means more updates more often! Yay!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope I managed to get back to you all and not miss anyone out! Remember, if you're not signed or don't have your PMs enabled, I cant reply to you!**

**Onwards, I hope you all enjoy!**

**I disclaim.**

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Begin Again**

Edward still hadn't woken up when Lord and Lady Masen returned from their trip to South Africa.

Lady Masen was not at all how I expected, not at all like the persona in all those photos I'd found on Google. She was petite, yes, but strong-willed enough to make anything she wanted possible. On top of that, however, from within two minutes of meeting her, it was obvious she was one of the gentlest and kindest women I'd met.

To say I was shocked when she walked down the corridor and pulled me into a warm embrace straight away would be an understatement.

I'd been worried. Mother had told me they were on their way and would be back in London within a few hours, and I'd spent the entire time sitting on the edge of Edward's bed, rambling to him about "what if they didn't like me?"

The fact that he couldn't answer or placate me only served to make my nerves worse.

It seemed I had nothing to worry about.

I had no idea if it was different for a princess. If being heir to the throne meant I didn't have to worry about meeting my future king's parents, that what I'd read in all my favourite books was the same for everyone. Just because I was Princess didn't automatically mean I was good enough for their son.

But at the same time, there was forever a niggling thought in the back of my mind that Lord Masen had adopted Edward, brought him up, and educated him all with the sole purpose of one day being King.

Lord and Lady Masen had collaborated all those years ago to make sure the two of us ended up together, and when I first met Edward's father, I couldn't help the tiny twinge of suspicion as to why he'd help manufacture my promised husband all these years.

"Your Highness," he greeted me, shocking me even more than the hug his wife had just bestowed.

I guess I expected respect but not the formality, not when he was friends with my parents and father to the man I was going to marry.

He bent and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek before stepping back and securing his arm around his wife's shoulder.

"Lord Masen," I replied quietly, my eyes watching two nurses as they scurried past with sidelong looks in our direction.

"Please, call us Carlisle and Esme," Lady Masen interjected, and I couldn't help but notice that Lord Masen himself hadn't volunteered that pleasantry.

"I'm honoured to finally meet you. I'm only sorry it's under these circumstances."

"Nonsense, my dear, the honour is ours. Why, we haven't seen you since you were a little girl running around the palace causing havoc, not in person anyway."

Esme laughed lightly and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm afraid I don't remember," I answered politely, noting the way Lord Masen's eyebrows rose as he watched me closely. Feeling uncomfortable under his scrutiny, I changed the subject.

"My mother has set up an office if there is anything you would like to discuss with her. Unfortunately, my father is unwell and on bed rest at the palace."

"We heard. We'll look in on him when we go back for dinner," Lord Masen answered, and I had my answer. They were staying at the palace for the foreseeable future.

"How is my boy?" Esme asked, her worried eyes glancing longingly at the door leading into Edward's private suite.

"He's stable according to the doctors. The medication is helping his body fight the attack, so he's weak and unconscious, but he's doing well supposedly. He's under strict quarantine until the doctors pronounce him safe from the TB, and then family will be allowed in to see him."

"Has anyone been in?" she asked, sadness for her son tinting her tone.

"I haven't left his side," I answered, clarifying when I saw her confused expression. "I didn't want him to be alone, so I sort of forced Dr Reynolds to allow me in."

"Thank you, sweetie, I'm glad he has you," she answered softly, stepping out from under her husband's arm to touch her hand to my cheek.

"Come, Carlisle, let us speak with Renee." She turned back to look at me as Lord Masen made his way briskly down the corridor.

"He's worried. It's his way of compartmentalising, I guess. Is there anything you need? Something we can bring you?"

"I don't need anything else, thank you, though," I answered automatically, blushing at Esme's beaming smile.

She crossed the short distance between us and grasped my hand firmly in hers.

"I'm so glad you two found each other again. I'm only sorry for the part I played in keeping you apart."

Tears pricked at my eyes, and for reasons unknown, I felt more affected by her words than anyone else's in the two days Edward had been in the hospital.

"Let us know if you need anything. Carlisle will come around once Edward is better, I promise. He was one of your biggest fans, you know. You were the daughter he never had."

Instead of helping me calm down, her words made my emotions bubble to the surface. Taking a step back, I rested on the tiny ledge running around the middle of the walls, everything suddenly getting the better of me.

"Oh, listen to me, we've only just met and already I'm overwhelming you," Esme leant her shoulder against the wall beside my head and placed her hand on the back of my neck, massaging her fingers into my hairline.

"I'm sorry, it's just…it's been a long few days," I answered, my head facing the linoleum floor.

"My dear, you have nothing to apologise for. Even I'd find it difficult in such circumstances, and I'm nearly three times your age.

"Why don't you head home, take a shower and a nap, and I'll see if this Dr Reynolds will let me stay with Edward for a while."

I was shaking my head before she even finished her sentence.

"No, I need to be here when he wakes up. I have to be…unless, I mean, he's your son, of course you'd want to stay. I'm sorry I'm being selfish, you can stay with him, I'll just sit in the waiting room or something…I…"

"Stop, stop. You'll work yourself into circles. I can see him when he's got the all clear. You stay with him. I think you need it more than any of us at this point."

I raised my head to find her gaze knowingly looking down on me.

"Waking up to such a pretty face will only make him better more quickly. He doesn't need to find his old mother breathing down his neck." She winked and I laughed lightly, my cheeks tinting pink from her compliment.

"He couldn't have chosen a better fiancée," she murmured as she hugged me close before letting go and heading in the same direction as her husband.

"Wait! What do you mean?" I asked her, equal parts confused and curious.

"Oh, nothing, it can wait, dear. Go and keep my son company. I'll see you soon."

With a small wave and a big smile, she disappeared round the corner, leaving me to my thoughts, my worries and all her little snippets of information.

I took my time cleaning up and changing, mulling over her parting words, trying to make sense of them, but by the time I was ready to go back into Edward's room, I still hadn't come up with an answer.

However, it was clear to see that Lady Masen wasn't afraid of sharing information, nor admitting to her faults, and I adored her already.

Edward didn't wake that night, despite all the signs being positive. I spent yet another night sitting in an uncomfortable chair, my head and arm on the bed, my hand holding his.

I awoke with a crick in my neck – another one, in a different place from the nights before – a sweaty hand from Edward's body heat, and my hair no doubt giving a bird's nest a run for its money.

He didn't look any different. His eyes still weren't moving beneath his lids, his hair wasn't even slightly out of place and his body was still tucked under the covers.

I didn't know what I expected each morning, that maybe he'd gotten up in the middle of the night and then got back into bed before I woke up?

I guess it just creeped me out that someone could not move even a fraction for such a long period of time. I just didn't understand all the ins and outs of being in a coma.

Or I was just holding out hope that he wasn't as far under as they said, because if he was just asleep, the possibility that he'd wake up was stronger, and that he was fine.

I didn't want to dwell on my fear, though, because I knew I'd be incapable of doing anything properly.

He was going to wake up, and he was going to be fine. I knew that, hell, the doctors knew that, but he _wasn't _awake and he _wasn't _fine every time I looked at him, and _that_ was what made it so hard to visualise.

I left his room to clean up, using the mirrors to sort my hair and check my face as I changed back into my everyday clothes, noting that someone had left out fresh ones for me on the chair. Looking through the selection, it was obvious it was Alice. The silk camisole, dark tight fit jeans and cashmere V-neck jumper were too co-ordinating and fine to have been chosen by a maid or even my mother.

I hoped it was Alice even more when I saw the fresh underwear folded neatly at the bottom of the bag. There was no way I wanted someone rifling through my drawers, even if I didn't know they'd done it.

Feeling slightly revived and fresher in my new clothes, I took one last glance into Edward's room before heading out into the corridor and heading for my mother's temporary office.

I was surprised to find Esme there instead, a steaming mug of coffee in front of her and a shiny red laptop open on the desk. Before I even had a chance to knock, she saw me in the doorway and waved me in.

"Ah, Isabella, how are you this morning?"

I rolled my neck before answering, "Stiff, but I slept, so I guess that's a bonus."

She smiled warmly and nodded, waving to the chair opposite her.

"Renee and I have been talking, and you have every chance to protest or argue, we aren't setting out to do anything behind your back or without your consent…but we think it might be a good idea for you to make your own statement for the press. The papers are going wild with speculation over feuds in the palace and that Edward and your father have the same illness from some secret getaway together…which of course is nonsense, but we thought that if the Princess and bride-to-be were to set the record straight, we'd have no more problems.

"The fact that no one has seen you since your engagement party is leading to speculation that you and Edward are not the loved-up couple we all made you out to be. Some are even going so far as to say you don't care that he's in hospital and that you will be calling off the wedding completely within the coming days."

I sat with my jaw slack, wondering how the media could come up with – and run – so much in so little time. It had only been three full days since our engagement party, which as far as I was aware, was a huge success, with photos and interviews hitting the shelves within the week.

"Hasn't anyone thought that maybe they haven't seen me in days is because I haven't left his bedside? I thought the party was a success with the invited journalists?"

"It was, but those were exclusive magazine deals, most of which won't be hitting the shelves until tomorrow or the day after at the earliest. Some have leaked online, I guess the ones who are team Edward and Bella, and are trying to stick up for you, but if you are willing, then setting the record straight really is the only way."

"What do I need to do?"

Esme smiled blindingly and came to sit in the chair beside me, taking my hand in hers like she had the day before.

"No one will write it for you. Just tell the truth. Keep it short and to the point. You don't need direction or a play. Just tell them what's going on, how you feel and what's going to happen."

"What is going to happen?" I asked, a slight tremble in my voice.

"That, my dear girl, is completely up to you. These are matters of the heart. Forget politics or convenience, do what feels right to you."

I felt like she could see right through me. Like she already knew how scared I was, how confused I was over forgetting my childhood friend, how terrified I was now that he was back, and how conflicted I was over my feelings for the Edward now lying in a hospital bed.

I nodded resolutely, this was the chance I'd been needing to prove to Edward, and to everyone else, that I was no longer the bratty little teenager I'd been acting for months.

"Okay. I can do that. Can you schedule it for about an hour? I don't think I need any longer than that."

"Of course, I'll have something set up for just outside the door so you don't need to go far and the journalists don't need to come in."

I nodded again. "Have you seen Alice?"

She shook her head, slightly puzzled.

"Little sprite, short spiky hair, energy for days…"

"Ah, yes, I had the pleasure of meeting her fleetingly last night, but I haven't seen her since."

"It's okay, I'll give her a call instead."

Leaving the room quickly, letting Esme do her thing, I brought up Alice's number and pressed the call button.

"Morning, B. How's everything there?" she asked on answering.

"Edward's just the same, but Ben says he's getting better. I don't know, I can't tell…listen, I need a favour. I know you picked out those clothes for me today, but can you find me something else? I'm doing a press conference in around an hour, can you make me look good, and get here in that time?"

"I'm on my way! Ask Ben if you can use the showers in the hospital, there are facilities for the on-call staff to use."

"Thanks, Alice, I'll see you soon."

With a deep breath I went in search of Ben, my resolve set and my brain in action.

Esme was right. All I needed to do was tell the truth.

Just like Edward had done in our engagement interview. It was my turn to repay the favour and try and show him how I felt.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

**So, how are we feeling?**

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	15. Coming Around

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**So, this chapter has been written since the last one went out, so I can only apologise. Life has been incredibly busy, new full time job, moving home...oh and guess who got accepted to study at a university in China just south of Beijing? OH YEAH BABY :)**

**Massive thank you to every one who reviewed last chapter, you guys are blowing me away with love, and I am eternally grateful.**

**Hope you all got the teaser that I posted on my blog last week, if not, get over there and get subscribed :)**

**Last chapter: We met Esme and Carlisle and Bella was told she would be holding her own press conference to tell the world what's been going on!**

**I disclaim.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Coming Around**

"I brought a few options. I don't know. I've never done this before, Bella. Maybe you should pick something yourself?"

Alice was nervous. I'd never seen Alice nervous in all the years I'd known her.

I hooked my arm through hers and squeezed. "How about we do it together?"

She smiled at me gratefully, and I wondered what was going on with my best friend.

I led her over the armchair in the office Esme had vacated for us and sat her down with my hands on her shoulders.

"Alice? What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I guess this is just…big?"

"Ali, you designed the dress for my engagement announcement and ball. How is this different?"

"Because I'm not showing _you _off…a press conference detailing your fiancés illness and the chance that your wedding isn't even going to happen is serious…it's important in a different way. I think you should do it yourself…you know what you're aiming for…"

She was chewing incessantly on her lip, something she must have caught from me, and not looking me in the eye.

"Do you think I should call it off?" I asked, noticing her head snap around to look at me. "The wedding?" I clarified.

"I…no…Bella, but he's ill, maybe you should think of pushing it back. That way he'll have time to recover, and you'll both have time to get to know the people you've become."

I smiled, seeing the nerves and worry that had been eating away at her somehow disappear.

"What were you really worried about?" I asked.

"That I no longer know my best friend. I have no idea what's going on in your head, and I'm not blaming anyone for that. Things have changed so much in such a short space of time that I have no idea how you're feeling. I felt like I'd somehow let you down."

I threw my arms around her, surprising her before she hugged me back as tightly as I was holding her. She was and always would be my best friend, and it was things like her confession that proved it.

"Ali, I don't think I even know how I'm feeling right now. You've been there every step of the way. You have nothing to feel guilty or bad about."

She pulled back, and we sat there smiling at each other, probably both feeling as silly as the other that we'd even had to have such a conversation.

"Come on, I have to go tell the world that my fiancé is recovering slowly and that the only time I've left his side in three days was to tell them that in the first place."

Alice nodded her head resolutely before bouncing up onto the balls of her feet and clapping her hands.

"Okay, so I'm thinking the black skinny jeans and the brown boots. You can just wear a nice top underneath the new coat I brought you, courtesy of your mother…"

She handed said coat over, and I luxuriated in its smooth and soft texture. It was cream, high collared, double-breasted and fabulous.

"I love it," I declared, holding it up against my face and imagining feeling the softness against my skin when I wore it.

The security detail that had been ever present since my family's arrival in the hospital had cleared and emptied the bathrooms so I could shower and freshen up, and I hoped none of the staff would need to use them while I was in there.

It wasn't that I was against sharing like normal people, but according to my mother, it was out of the question and that there was no way we should put my safety at risk.

Alice made the valid point that people would take pictures of anything to get a bit of extra money, and the last thing I wanted was a photo of me in my towel circulating the globe.

It felt heavenly to wash my hair and let the hot water help erase the tension from my muscles, and I relaxed as Alice insisted on blow drying my hair, letting me sit quietly to gather my thoughts on what I was going to say.

I'd written a few things, pointers to keep me on track, but I'd never been very good with keeping to a script.

Twenty minutes later, I was about as ready as I would ever be.

Alice, fidgeting, kept touching my hair and re-fixing the grips she'd placed at the front to keep it out of my face, and I had to bat her hands away as she tried to redo it for the millionth time.

"You're making me nervous, Ali, please."

"Sorry." Her lip disappeared between her teeth before she finally spit out what I assumed had really been on her mind all that time. "Do you know what you're going to say?"

Her eyes flicked to the cards in my hand, and I knew she'd seen the small number of words on each one.

I shrugged. "Esme told me to tell the truth. And to follow my heart."

A small smile lit up Alice's face, and she threw her arms around my shoulders. "Good luck," she whispered before pulling back.

I nodded, squared my shoulders and let my security team lead me down the corridor to the elevator. They were never further than a metre from me, and I watched as visitors and patients became curious by the large men in black suits before their eyes widened on seeing me.

I was heir to the throne. There were very few people I would imagine didn't know my face.

A lot of them stumbled through a curtsey or a bow, but most stood back against the wall and gaped as I made my way past. The ground floor, just inside the doors, was the worst. For such an early time of the morning, there were dozens of people milling around, all of whom came to a complete standstill as I made my way to the little podium that had been set up outside the doors.

What felt like thousands of light bulbs started flashing incessantly whenever the guys separated to present me to the waiting crowd of journalists and photographers. Some tried to shout out questions, one on top of the other, rendering it impossible to make them out.

I held a slightly trembling hand up, asking for quiet, and cleared my throat as I stepped closer to the microphone.

"Good morning everyone. Thank you for coming.

"My mother released a press statement on Sunday on behalf of our family, but we felt it better to personally address the stories surrounding my family and the palace within the media with the truth."

I looked up and scanned the crowd, wondering if any of them were the so-call supporters of Edward and me, and caught the eye of a young girl, not much older than me, who'd been present at my engagement party not three nights prior. She smiled at me as a friend would, as if to give strength and encouragement, and I let my eyes wander the rest of the group with that in mind.

"Some of you were honoured enough to be invited to my engagement party on Saturday night at the palace, and Edward and I would like to thank you for your presence and conduct whilst there.

"Those of you who were present will be privy to information that my fiancé, Lord Masen, was not himself that night. Despite being ill and turning down my proposal to postpone the party, Edward stood at my side and greeted both friends and family that evening.

"We retired early, regrettably, but during the course of the night, Edward's condition worsened. Dr Reynolds, his attending physician here at King Edward hospital, later diagnosed him with Tuberculosis and has since started Edward on a tough course of medication.

"I would like to personally, at this time, stress that Edward is recovering, whilst still in a coma, and that my family is working tirelessly with members of the press and the community to assure the public that he is, at this point, over the worst of it.

"I would also like to address any rumours that may be surfacing over my relationship with my fiancé. My family have always been very private people, and I like to be that way myself, but when I am doubted to have been anywhere but at my fiancés side in the last three days, I need to set the record straight.

"I have not left the hospital nor will I leave this hospital until I know Edward is back with us and on the mend. He is my fiancé, and the only thing I need right now is for Edward to recover and get himself healthy enough to meet me at the altar.

"Our wedding date has been set for some time, and at this moment in time, I would like to announce that it has not changed. I firmly believe that Edward will fight this with everything he has and that he will want our wedding to go ahead as much as I do.

"I thank everyone for the well wishes and ask that Edward be kept in thoughts and prayers at this time. I won't be taking any questions this morning as I would like to get back to my fiancé's bedside, and I thank you for your understanding."

I tried to do as my mother had always taught me, leaving no room for argument, and with my head held high, I picked up my obsolete pieces of paper, turned on my heel and headed back into the hospital, my heart pounding in my chest.

I'd always hated speaking in public and, as I thought back over my speech, could barely remember in that moment what I'd just said. I hoped I hadn't rambled, seemed nervous or weak and had set my point straight without being patronising or nasty.

My entire body was trembling by the time I made it back to the lift, resting against the back wall as the security guys filed in and stood in front of me.

My mother engulfed me in a strong hug whenever I stepped out of the metal box, and I felt myself relax into her embrace.

"How's father?" I asked quietly into her ear, noting that there were a lot of people milling around, a lot more than there had been when I'd left the floor.

"He's slightly better, my girl. He's weak, but the doctor came this morning and said it would be good for him to get out of bed. I left him in the library with a good book and a cup of tea."

We both smiled at the familiar scene she'd painted and I felt some relief seep into me. I hadn't seen him in days, and I felt guilty that I'd put Edward's welfare above my own fathers.

"He understands, Isabella. We look after our men." She grabbed me lightly by the shoulders and pulled back to look into my eyes. "You did us proud down there. You did _Edward_ proud down there," she stressed.

Smiling faintly, my eyes floated over her shoulder to the end of the corridor where Edward's room was situated, and my heart skipped a few beats in my chest.

There were nurses rushing around, and I watched as Dr Reynolds dished out a few orders before disappearing through the door to Edward's suite.

"What's going on?" I asked, my feet already moving me in the right direction.

"Edward's vitals changed whilst you were downstairs. Dr Reynolds wants to remove the tubes and get him ready for when he wakes up."

All despair that had been growing dispersed, and my eyes flicked to my mother.

"He's waking up?"

She smiled lightly. "He will be soon. Go, be with him. I'll call Esme and let them know."

Edward was waking up.

Suddenly, I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

I knew I had to be in there when he opened his eyes, but what happened then?

Would he remember what had happened that night? Would he even remember our engagement party? The dance? The kiss?

My heart pounding in my chest, I made my way into the room to change back into scrubs.

Ben opened the door from Edward's room whilst I was washing my hands.

"Ready?" he asked.

I realised he probably only meant if I was ready to go in, but so much more hung from one little word.

"Yes," I answered, drying up and stepping through the doorframe. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Ben chuckled before shutting the door behind us, shutting the door off from the rest of the world, and shutting me into mine.

* * *

**Author's Chapter End Notes:**

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